Familie issues 2.0

I had this one already some weeks ago, it is still on going. Not my close family, but the second ring, like grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and so on… why to bother at all? Well the main reason is my grandmother, she’s the centre and well, the others are more or less like chess figures and playing their roles like warrior, or simple farmer or else. Although it’s my family there is sometimes this part or person who simply doesn’t want to walk the light way, who wants to walk and suffer in darkness… what do I mean with suffer in darkness = it’s the situation being seen dark in all circumstances. Problems can’t be solved immediately because the person who is in control isn’t calling back the same second as wanted. Well too clear for myself – people have to work. But this one who I mentioned before likes to walk in suffering and darkness, telling herself and others that this person in charge doesn’t work at all and is making a foul out of her…

So first question or advice I got by telling this one to my closest family member was “why are you still handling with these unnecessary things and people at all?”… I have this clear answer inside – because who else will bring light in the darkest corners? If I’m out the hole will grow even bigger and possibly more people can slip in and get stuck to never come out again… what is this hole? Darkness in thoughts, darkness inside the heart, seeing bad things only no light at all, everything is negative… and why? Because it is the feeling the enemy is spreading and trying to infect the people on earth with. I know, I’m just the granddaughter, but I never walk alone, Jesus is in every conversation and I thank him for helping me sending his light out to everyone!!
Because he loves you!

Be blessed!


Sleepy me

So what is my routine? Two or three days I have a scheduled day and sleep and everything, and then I have a Sarah-Time-Night where I start watch my TV shows. Yesterday I checked on Supergirl, besides Arrow and The Flash this one is another favorite of mine and I start to relax while I watch.
Sometimes I crochet while watching, sometimes I don’t. Depending on the mood and day I keep watching until 1 or 2am and turn out to be so tired that I just fall into bed to wake up at 6 again. Will end up tired second day… why do I keep doing this? Well the TV shows keep me up, it’s something to relax my mind. Doing my crochet is relaxing my soul and sleep is relaxing my body…
Together with Hillsong music I can recharge fully and this is my weekly Turnus.
Sometimes it’s too much, I want to read as well but on some days it’s simply too much at the end of a busy day, after reading stories for the kids, writing on the blog, reading stories and mails it’s enough for my eyes and mind to read again, I just want to relax myself while watching plain shows without too much tragic and more sci-fi.

It is mid December and I want to schedule more reading instead of TV shows and more crocheting, so I can start selling baby blankets in 2018.
This one is on my mind since January this year. I will start setting up a base and will begin selling them.
This is a plan, while reading and studying is my other one, starting today night, when the kids are sleeping. And stopping my nightly TV show marathon until the early mornings, to keep my health and body working to prevent being tired the other day…

Music is my medicine

Sure you’ve heard this one before – Music is your medicine. Well for me it is, as I’m a passionate singer myself, I love the emotion that passes me and my voice until finally reaching out to others.
I enjoy listening to beautiful music, to beautiful voices and lyric, sometimes I even don’t understand the lyric, depending what language is sang, like if I’m listening to arabic songs – but they are mostly christian arabic songs so I have a hint or some lyric translation as well.
And yes I enjoy listening to youtube covers! I did some myself back then, thinking about starting with it real soon, but will see what is possible or not. So many plans to continue and start with.

Right now I accidentally found some beautiful instrumental covers of some famous songs. I started with this lovely song “Despacito”, I found one while browsing FaceBook, there was this one playing the saxophone – whoa! I just love it! So much emotion, so much passion and simply wow touching!!
And well, because I am really attached to guitar playings it’s this one I listened to lately by surprise – there was this guy on youtube playing despacito on his electric guitar (here is the link) – listening to the guitar throws me back to my high school years, where I used to sing in our small band of 4, singing and making some great music with my friends I always loved the guitar and the drums! Well the guitar was on number 1 always, as I just love the sound if it’s played well. The possibility of creating this wave of emotion, this river of feelings is so overwhelming and I can just close my eyes while I listen to Kfir Ochaion now on YouTube playing cover versions on his electric guitar!

I can tell, Music is my life, I always loved to sing and still do, I enjoy listening to real good music, no matter if voices or instruments playing! Yes I know, you can’t be perfect all in a sudden – I don’t request or ask for that, I simply mean I love those who really do this music with all their heart and passion and you can feel and listen to its difference!

Just listening to Kfir Ochaion playing Bring me to Life! This is real passion and heart for Music – Love it!

So while listening to this beautiful ones my heart is filling with the love to start my own youtube channel again… guess there are some more plans for 2018…
Will make a schedule and plan for all this at the end of 2017 and will post and share it with you, dear brothers and sisters… and sure would love to know what you think after I’ve posted the first one on YouTube.

Until then I wish you God’s blessing!
Thanks for reading my story and thoughts!

Hair, Haircut and else

So, talking about Hair and Hairstyle. Lately I was wearing a headcover – Tichel and well not really point to think about my haircut.

So after I moved back I just left my hair and my life be as God wanted me to be. I had long beautiful hair and loved it, as God has gifted me. When I started to think about covering my hair – see my blog post here.
Covering my hair was connected to different thoughts and different situations in my past. Once one friend told me that I would’ve been under man’s hand and control, and the other I was in a relation with a Muslim man – while then I was in no one’s relation or control but I decided to cover my hair… while living in an area with different believes and spirits I prefer to cover my hair and head. Nowadays I like to check on informations about christian head covers, on the real origin ways and clothing of Jesus followers.
Well, the most results are arabic and Muslim hijab. Is it non christian to feel related to the modest look? Is it non christian to feel related to hijab and it’s modest style? Why do I feel related to the modest fashion and the so beautiful hijab style? The world sees hijab and the arabic world with one feeling – fear – why? You should ask yourself why?
Nowadays the urge, the feeling and the love to the native me is more real than before. I can tell you, before it was full of fear how the world, my surroundings could act, could see me, judge me and then? I don’t know, it’s still in process.

How to change the mind of many? How to change the minds of people around you, neighbors and family, friends and? Well, wearing a headcover as a non-muslim means explaining a lot and answering too many questions. Also it’s the questions on what style to wear, the stylish nowadays Tichel or hijabs? I don’t know why I feel related to the classic hijab. One day I will do the test about jewish origin and of course I will let you know.

So what does attract me about the hijab? The style, the look, the modest way to cloth a woman? What is a woman’s worth and purpose?
Is it okay what is normal these days? Is it God’s will to continue like this?
I will let you know about my further life steps… I’m still unsure, I liked to wear my headcover, and now I love to watch and see strong headcover-wearing women, while I walk uncovered these days…

Be blessed dear brothers and sisters!

What’s next

ever thought about what’s next?
Well me – yes, every day.. especially writing this blog post. I love to write, but someday it’s like nothings inside my head to write about. I don’t like to go in circles with my posts, but well sometimes there is nothing new, or nothing to be told… I mean, I can’t and won’t tell/write something I know nothing about.

Last weekend, my close friend – sister in Christ made me think about honesty. She told me, what became so important for her – honesty. Yes, what does it mean for you? To be honest in even the smallest things and situations? No lies, not even a small lie for yourself? Is it possible? What’s the effort? Nice thought, the one with the effort.. but I got her point. And yes it’s time to start – start with myself. I know that I have to start with myself first always and with that I can share it with my surroundings, family and friends.

So how do I start? I stop telling my familie and kids lies. What lies are you asking? Shouldn’t mothers never lie to their familie and kids in any way? Well, upcoming event Christmas. What are you telling your children? Is a big fat man crawling down the chimney to eat cookies and drink milk to place presents for good children under the tree but leave out the naughty ones? Well well… usually everyone tries to lock out every stranger or one not known but letting in this red-dressed Santa.
2 years ago I stopped telling my children lies about these ones, and they went fine with it. The funny part is, the people who didn’t – my parents, siblings and other ones around me. Well, first question was “why are you ruining their dreams and phantasie’s?” well why should I build a lie in their head to finally shock them after years telling them “beep, sorry now you’re old enough to know the truth – there is no such thing or man called Santa, that’s all a lie made up to create something called magic for you to sink in and dream about for – for what actually?” why is it said and so important that they tell their children “you just have to believe in this and that so that…?!”
What does God say? Believe in me only me, no other things or men. Why is it so important for parents to fill their kids with lies, while trying to teach them not telling lies?! This is plainly paradox? Why is a so called cute lie as a parent is telling their child e.g. Santa Claus and else, okay while a lie a child tells is a no-go?
I can’t see the difference!
Everyone especially every parent has to think about what he is telling and building inside their child, and is responsible for this action and everything that comes with it. I don’t want to tell my child a lie that I have to break down a few years later and telling my older children to keep the secret so the younger ones will still believe in this lie and then what? I started to tell my children the truth. And I leave my children in their freedom to one day find out for them self what is true for them. I want my children to learn by watching me live my life. And how I handle different situations. And this is my new life challenge.

Be blessed dear brothers and sisters!

Monday rhythm

It is still dark outside, not as cold as the weekend mornings but still you can smell the winter coming. It is nice to smell the freezing air, looking around and peeking to watch the people around you slowly waking up, light start to glow in the windows and you watch the world wake up.
Time to get inside again for a fresh hot cup of lemon tea with a spoon of delicious honey inside, enjoying my breakfast and waiting for my home to wake up.

Monday, means the start of a new week in our country, in the western countries.. in all countries? No I guess not, I posted one blogpost about this earlier, you can check on it if you’d like to.

So again, Monday means a fresh start for me. On Sunday I refreshed myself and my spirit at my church community and yes, I can say I’m refreshed on this Monday morning. I woke up at 5:30 and this is new, because usually I really like to stay in bed until 6:30. So 1 hour is a lot – if you have kids! What does this 1 hour means to me? I can start without any noise, without any conversation (except those with my heavenly father) and it’s a good, well slow start into a new day.

What did I do in this one hour?
I prepared the school-kit and cleaned up the kitchen – because of the BARF food for my dog, this one is really smelly (also another Blog Post you can check here)
I was cleaning an extra round, because I couldn’t get the smell out of my sink and my nose. After cleaning I made some tea for myself and kids and squeezed out 4 lemon and just throw the lemon leftovers into my sink as well as to paint over the smell of the meat.

Lately I started to listen to K-Love on my iPad again, using an online radio app it works fine and I can listen to beautiful soul and spirit enriching music.
This helps to start the day as well as to end it at night. Good music for my ears and heart to calm myself from daily schedule and life.
It’s helping me to re-organize my day as well, too many plans and not enough hours to get everything done.
Like the other day, feeling restless because I would have liked to finish and even start so many new things but I knew it’s time to rest without thinking about anything new and not really important things.

Silence enjoying the peace

How to use silence when you have kids?
Right now I’m sitting at a friend’s house and enjoying the silence, while the children are playing and I’m just doing nothing. Nothing means sitting at a table staring outside the window and breathing… asking the question of every days challenge inside my whole body, visiting it sink deep inside. While plainly watching outside the window, checking the trees and it’s movements while the wind is hurling through their arms it’s like a quiet song played for me especially.

Closing my eyes and forcing my body to shut down and restart… it’s refreshing and you don’t want to go back to reality – too soon, I listen to a so familiar voice calling me Mommy.
These silent minutes are so precious and necessary.

Same as the precious times I spent outside alone or with the family – but silent time, without any talk or thought, completely free of any thing at all…

Some time ago I started these bedtime stories to listen at (via youtube e.g.) and have you ever tried it? For me it’s like relaxation and after some minutes I’m asleep…

With this, I’m wishing you all a blessed and stress-free Friday 😉