The Pesach is still on going, I’ve had and still have a lot time to think, getting lost in thoughts and prayers with my heavenly father and well, I receive a lot of input as well.
A couple of days ago something someone said really bothered me, because I just listen to it by mistake. It was something about me raising and educating my kids with a comparison of an old friend from the past. I was recalling this woman’s character and tried to figure out why I was placed in her position.
She was a loud person, her voice always rising towards her sons. At one point she crossed the line and started swearing at her kids with bad words, so her kids got used and used them also at primary school.
While she was the kind of woman to have good company with, because she was talkactive, cheering, friendly, well educated – but loud. She was a woman, that had travelled the world alone and together with her husband, before she became a mother.
Why did it bother me then, to be announced to be similar to this woman? I mean, she’s not that negative appearance, counting her strength and her past.
- I am well educated as well
- travelled the world
- I’m talkactive and friendly
I guess the main factor is LOUD and the swearing part in combination with children – so in general I don’t want to be labeled as this loud, swearing person to be. I don’t like my voice rising, or screaming or discipline my kids, the dog or anyone else, so if I need to speak more seriously I really try to keep it at a limit. About the swearing part, actually I was raised to not use them at all, I was taught what they meant and in the end I didn’t feel the necessity to use them in any situation. I try to teach and educate my kids the same way, so they know these swearing words exist, but I try to make them boring words, or unuseful ones, so my kids will not get interested in using them at all. (Okay I know, at one point they might, but for me as a mum I try and give my best to educate and teach them what is important, but nothing is possible, if my heavenly father is not leading me through everything with his holy spirit!)
My past me would have been roaring up and loud, but today I step back, take some deep breaths and start to talk to God. When I start talking to him, no matter if silently or in volume, it calms me down. And one thing I learned in my past years, not to take what was said about me, like bad words or bad properties. Why? I think we got distracted and lost in our world, for what was written years ago, so it’s time to remember and just check it again.
“5 So too the tongue is a tiny part of the body, yet it boasts great things. See how a little fire sets a whole forest ablaze! 6 Yes, the tongue is a fire, a world of wickedness. The tongue is so placed in our body that it defiles every part of it, setting ablaze the whole of our life; and it is set on fire by Gei-Hinnom itself.” James 3, 5-6
This quote is aggressive for some reason, but pure truth. The tongue might be a tiny part of our body, but it boast great things. Just recall a situation, where there was placed a small lie, or someone gossiping and adding some information not being true just for a special effect or a boost of the story. How easily is the small flame transformed to a great fire? In my past I experienced it several times, it’s like watching a movie, some people around me start gossiping about others, while they don’t realize that lies always come out and truth always wins. There are also situations I experienced myself in my past, I’m thinking about me frustrated being single, I started hiding the truth while I was meeting someone and in the end it just made things worst. I don’t mean worst for me as a person, because the truth is always better and all teachings I had back in my past brought me closer to my Heavenly Father, because through the love of Jesus Christ and the leading of his Holy Spirit I am at the point where I am now 🙂 as it’s said, the tongue is tiny but still able to kill someone. How? False accusation, defamation or seduction to sin, and there are more on the list… you just need to stop it right where it was born and give it to Jesus, lay it down under his cross so he can handle it. This seemingly small situation was some kind hard work for me. Not physically but more mentally, as I was continuously talking to God, and until I could let go of the whole thing, so that I could completely say “it doesn’t bother me, because although I was directed, I didn’t accept or received it, as I got Jesus Cross in between.” I felt relieved, because I don’t have to re-think or talk about it with the person who said it, why, what was the source of this statement, where should it lead? I gave it all to Jesus and freed myself from any bad action that would normally cause this small (tiny) sentence.
“Do not love the world…” this has a deeper meaning, but it fits here as well. To love the world meant other people’s opinion for me in my past. I was stressed to please everyone around me, no matter if family, parents, friends or others, I tried to avoid discussion, stress, frustration or arguments. In the end I broke down, because I was a people pleaser. Last year I read a book Joyce Meyer wrote, called People Pleasers (this one is an audio CD). I had to learn to stop trying to please everyone around me, and start focusing on the only important one now and forever = God!
It doesn’t mean that I should become rude against the world and everyone living on earth, no on the contrary, as I start to put thinks in the right order
I create a strong base between the father and myself, so as I’m covered by his grace I can share it with my family, my friends, and others outside my comfort zone.
I’m still a full-time student, learning to understand how Jesus lived, what he taught the people, how God sees me, and who I am in his plan – but this course is the best I ever enrolled in my life and nothing comparable to it!
“Do not love the world or the things of the world. If someone loves the world, then love for the Father is not in him; 16 because all the things of the world — the desires of the old nature, the desires of the eyes, and the pretensions of life — are not from the Father but from the world. 17 And the world is passing away, along with its desires. But whoever does God’s will remains forever.” 1 John 2, 15-17
Dear brothers and sisters, I’m so thankful that you follow and read my thoughts and life-steps with God, be richly blessed by the almighty Heavenly Father 🕊