Finding peace, knowing where to look at

I don’t know why, but since a couple of weeks I’m really exhausted and not able to wake up when the alarm rings the first time – honestly it’s even not the second or third time when I finally wake up, it’s more like enough time for me, to get ready in the bathroom and to have one coffee or Chai – without latte and constantly calling for the kids to wake up.. today we really made it until 15minutes before we had to reach the childcare – but actually we did it! As I said, exhausted day schedule. After this we headed to our christian-mother-kids-meeting-café I really like this group and company and tried to rest and relax myself for about 2 hours.
When I finally went back to the childcare to build some school starter package for my son.
Another new, exiting step for all of us… and while it is so beautiful to see the big pre-schooler waiting for first grade to begin it’s also a big step for both of us, son and me 🙂

About me being exhausted, I try to often rearrange my point of view and my focus to be positioned at Jesus, his Love and my heavenly father’s love for me, his daughter.
I like to have good conversations with him, and am often telling him about my day schedule and my kids schedule to let him be part of my life, because it is my decision and my invitation to him, to be part of my life, and it is the most important act of my day. So every morning I’m inviting God to be with me the whole day through, and it is really helping, it is supporting me mentally and spiritually to always reconnect to the father.

The weekend was full of conversations with many different friends and family and with some of them it’s really helping to just go back to Jesus, lay down all of the things I shouldn’t and couldn’t carry on my own and let him help me, in love as my brother. Some conversations may affect me negatively, so I learned to give them no room in my life, I put it under the cross within some minutes.

So Monday is nearly over here, while I was doing some decluttering I was listening via radio app to an Arabic – Canadian radio station and the second played song immediately throw me back into my past #Nancy singing with her beautiful voice. I can’t tell, it’s a long time intention and like to hear Arabic voices/music.
And with the time I will learn this beautiful rich language (same as 2 others, that are on my list)
So about the declutter – I never thought it would be this slow to finish it the first time. I started in one room and continued day after day to finish each room.. but honestly when I started to declutter it seemed that the more I’m throwing the more stuff is inside my unit!
I’m still working on that because I still want to reach a healthy minimalistic way of life for me and my family.
Will keep you informed, as soon as I get there – or close.

Be richly blessed dear brothers and sisters!
Shalom

Stay cool

It is summer and the temperature rises high, the humidity is high as well, this indicates a potential lightning/thunder/raining combination. We will see, or at least maybe hear it later.

It is midnight here and I was thinking, whether to write one short quick post or rush into bed and try to get some hours of sleep. So you see I’m writing and enjoying and testing the blackberry keyboard. I have to admit that it is very comfy for someone who is typing a lot and who simply missed the real keyboard.
When I bought it 17 days ago some of my closest told me, that I wouldn’t stick to it a week.. because they know me well, and yes back then it was really difficult for me to change after being with apple for, we’ll let’s see and count, 8 years now. I started with the 3rd Generation the iPhone 3GS, and quickly I bought a new phone every year.. sure it’s nice, it’s optic and all the software inside is attracting and magically holding all its users. For me, at some point it was enough..
6 years ago I already tried to change and get away from iPhone but the PalmPre I was using and hoping to cope with the market wasn’t able to meet my preferences and needs. Then back in 2014 I tried Samsung, because this was and is the other big smartphone provider you can find. I had the new Samsung with a new mobile contract but was unhappy after a few days too.. so I sold this one as well and bought an iPhone until this one I was using latest the iPhone 6.
Yes of course, it is a good phone, it is more than a phone, it includes calls, messaging, mail, Internet, calendar, alarm, so many countless apps a few you really need and heaps of unnecessary stuff just to waste time – and this was and is the BIG point in my decision to leave apple, Samsung and all the others with heaps of apps no one really needs, but thinks they need to have because otherwise you’re out of everything and out of the world..
We all know that for some people the smartphone (no matter which company) is an addiction – well, I can tell what happened with me. Yes I was addicted to my phone, I was happy and so lucky to have this smart, super fast and stylish looking iPhone I was holding it the whole day, never leaving it around.
Sometimes I wanted to check the time – because I don’t have a watch anymore, but when unlocking the iPhone I was sliding through my screens, checking if there where any messages, or something interesting to see on IG, or Pinterest, or Twitter, or Facebook, or G+, or BBM, or Threema, or Whatsapp, or some more.. then I told myself to stop, because it’s too much again and while pushing the screen-lock-button I often realized that I didn’t even took a look on the time!! Arg, so I had to do the same thing again, but this time with high concentration to really just take a look at the time…

At one point I realized that the fact, that I was holding the iPhone and was waiting or typing a message made me aggressive or stressed and this affected my whole body and even worst my family!!
My son told me several times, that I’m at the iPhone way too often – and guess what? He was right!! I was! And this fact was a shock. Still not as easy as it should be, I tried to set myself a schedule about when to use and when to check the phone or some apps, but honestly, for me in my case I needed something more effective.
And this was the last day in June. Yes it was a good, a real good day, because while being on the way with my kids the iPhone hit the ground of the last train when we nearly arrived at our destination Bavaria. I was in shock and angry about myself because I was the one who dropped it!
At the end of the day I could arrange to use it for 2 calls, my parents and my sister in Christ, to tell them that we arrived safely and that my phone is total broken. Did you ever experienced, that your iPhone screen is so hard damaged that everytime you unlock it the screen things you touch it while you are not and then it starts to open apps, delete messages or notes and starts to write funny sms or whatsapp. Well at that point I locked it immediately but then it happened to block me completely, so I wasn’t able to unlock it with my numeric code, because the screen was half blind.. untouchable 😀

Can I tell you something? I had the best 3 weeks, that I truly enjoyed with rich conversations with other families, with my children and simply taking real pictures with my God given eyes! I can tell you, the time I spent with my kids was pure and a lot relaxed, because I wasn’t checking my phone every 10 min (at least). I was released, I was free, I was me – without the phone.
Sure something else was showing me, how addicted or lost we are if the phone where everything is written down and saved is is.
In my situation I wasn’t able to contact anyone by land line except my parents, no other numbers in mind. I was trying to remember birthday dates – but anyway wasn’t able to send greetings, or callings. I wasn’t able to remember the address of some friends to send postcards and well you can image the list continues.
So what did I thought of, when I was in this situation? First thing to do when you got home – buy an address book made out of paper – check, I did.
I haven’t start with the next point, the more important one, write down all addresses and phone numbers.

So what is different using the blackberry classic now instead of using either IPhone or Samsung?
On blackberry I receive the message, that I can use whatsapp until 31.12.17 after that it will close its service well I can change to the whatsapp10 app, I will try.
In general is it the lack of useless apps I can’t install, like too many messengers, like too many unnecessary Programms to work on pictures or other apps. Yes I know I could’ve simply just delete them on my IPhone, but hey be honest, how many of you actually do this? I always tried to delete as much as possible to minimize the trash and time-consuming ones, but it’s like hypnosis you seem to be not able to click the small x that’s shaking on the right top of the app.

I know, that in my situation I received help from my heavenly Father, who helped me to get away from the phone and the addiction. Because we can do all things through Jesus Christ!!
The BlackBerry brings me back to a normal phone usage, it’s ringing to indicate incoming calls and I (still) receive whatsapp messages for some more months. I can receive sms, mail and BBM, that’s enough.
And I’m using Twitter, trying to get more readers.. so this phone is keeping my concentration back on me – my life, my believe/faith and my family .
I thank you Lord!

And I thank you dear readers for taking your time reading my story!
Be richly blessed! Shalom

Shabbat Shalom

Shalom to all my readers!
What does “Shalom” mean? It is a jewish greeting and saying for goodbye but including your good wish of God’s Blessing for this person you are greeting or telling Goodbye.
For me Shalom means Love Greetings, it is not only Hello, or Goobye it is “Hello my dear brother or/and sister” it is “Be blessed brother/sister” and it is “God’s blessing to you dear brother and sister” in one word.
*Shalom*

The Shabbat is the one day of the week, where Jews praise Elohim Adonai and lay down all the work and just give this day for him.
It starts at Friday night when the sun gets down and ends on Saturday night when the sun gets down. So the day starts at night for Jews, it did for Jesus.. several weeks ago I asked myself why we changed it.. the western time or day starts at midnight, then we say it’s a new day.. but we could’ve leave it the Jews way.. to get back is not as easy as it may seem.. I need to change my complete thinking.. but alright, seems like a new challenge 🙂

Today we had a special day with our kids and church, to spend time together as a family of God, with Jesus Christ our brother in the middle of our festival. We had good conversations, nice games for young and adult and the food was so delicious. The weather was like an order, the sun was shining the whole day and yes I’m a bit tanned as well.. like I’ve been on a beach trip.
I enjoy my time with my family in Christ and really feel His presence. Recalling all what has happened the week before and just thanking the Lord for always standing in front of me, securing that nothing will hurt or harm me or my kids. I thank him so much, for his unconditional Love!!
The next week will be a tough one with a real strict schedule, but after this week I hope I can start to relax a bit.. who knows..

Last week I started thinking about some new Job opportunities, maybe I will walk a complete different way, I don’t know yet.. maybe I start working at schools, or at the army.. maybe something complete different..

As always, I will keep you informed..
Be richly blessed by the Lord – Shalom

How the weather changes us (the result of our behavior)

I’ve been waiting for today for some weeks now. I had my appointment at my favorite hairdresser changed three times, to this date – today. I was looking forward, sitting at the hairdresser’s chair, chit-chat with him about past and present, while enjoying this special treat just for me. Last time I went to my hairdresser was March 2016 – so more than a year ago!

My hair had grown a bit already and it wasn’t bad or not pretty but I was looking for something else, fresh, maybe with new color.. I saw my favorite series “Baby Daddy” with #ChelseaKane and I really like her hairstyle, so I send a picture of her haircut to my hairstylist and added my wish of trying out some colors as well..
Today the sun was shining a lot and gave us around 32 degree – so real summer feeling yay!

After cutting and coloring I was done (3 hours later), but somehow my color doesn’t shine through as I wanted and as my hairdresser intended..

All in all its a good nice haircut, but maybe I will stay patient and will keep growing it.. enough haircuts and experiments?.. I will see what will happen the next month’s.. in any way I got my tichel to cover up my head and hair, and where I can experiment with nice scarves.

Going back to my main Topic, about nature and human behavior. Yesterday I had my experience shared with you already and today? What was happening, I was driving the car with my children. The youngest was sleeping and not witnessing the scene that was happening on the highway. After a construction area where the speed limit is 80km/h they had the unlimited speed area with 3 lines. I was going 100km/h on the middle line, overtaking all the trucks but still taking care of the road while it started raining like waterfalls, when I saw this black car speeding behind me, showing his lights in a real aggressive way – still I didn’t thought of anything bad, I was thinking that maybe the driver wants to make me aware about a light or something else my car is having problems with. Still going 100km/h on the middle lane to overtake the trucks on my right side the black car slipped right when there was a gasp and tried to overtake me from the right side (this is not allowed in Germany) and this time I finally saw that this man was mad about me, driving too slow – for him. By any situation he was really angry and upset with me, that I was not driving as he wished I should. Just a little reminder, he simply could have overtake me from my left side, where cars should or are supposed to overtake those cars going 100km/h – but he didn’t, until then he was so mad at me because of nothing, he overtook me then just to place his car in front of mine to go on his breaks for letting me nearly crush his car!
He made me feel so many feelings at the same time, anger, fear, boiling blood and sadness.. why sadness? Because later I could feel sadness for him, because I saw that the devil was torturing him, that he was rushing like the Devils are behind him and I was stopping him to get by, while he didn’t saw his possibilities (on my left side).. I felt weak, because what to do or how to talk to someone while driving 100km/h and more? You can’t hear a word you just see expressions and gestures…
And of course I felt my boiling and rushing blood, this feeling because someone just thinking about himself, not taking care or a thought about others, he saw my kids!! And with this in mind I was really exploding, not understanding what is going on in his head?
My whole body was shaking when I tried to control my car while pushing the breaks so I won’t hit his car while he was pushing his break hard at 100km/h.
When he finally left the scene and headed out the highway he just showed me the “sign of the horns” or “Mano Cornuta”.
As some scene’s of Rock or Metal Music are showing, I realized what it actually meant. Who was actually trying to break me, to make me fear.
The devil will not win or fear me, because I have Jesus! And Jesus already won when the devil tested and tried to trick Jesus, but Jesus is Lord and the devil has to flee!!

This situation showed me, that it is important to know Jesus, to know who is the father, the son and the holy spirit, because truth will win always.
This horrible scenario today showed me what I have to teach my children, what role I have to show them and what important words to speak!
My son was in shock and asked “why this man wants to kill us?” then even he saw his hand gesture.

The world is changing, it was years ago and it is and will in the future, but we all need to be aware and awake to see and choose between light and darkness. And darkness hates light!

I thank God with all my heart, that he had and has his protective hand above me and my family, that I will not receive any harm! I take Jesus Hand every day, and invite his Holy Spirit to guide and lead my way and steps every day!!

Dear brothers and sisters, thank you for taking your time, reading my story!
Be blessed! Shalom

Humanity

I had a wonderfully blessed day, with several talks and inspirational arguments from others, while some behavior and words lead me to my today’s topic.
It won’t be a blog entry about some big worldwide issue, but maybe it is and we don’t realize?

I had this appointment for parents with school kids, where they handed out all the information needed for new parents to school kids. This appointment was for parents only, as it was at evening time, near bedtime for younger kids.
I was sitting in their big hall, ready to write notes if needed but mainly sitting and waiting in row 3 for the head teacher and others to start the presentation while more parents entered the main hall.. they started on time, and after some minutes some late parents came and sat down.
One mother was recognized by many – let’s say all, because she came with her 3 young kids..
And it is just clear, that it couldn’t stay quiet the whole time (about 1 hour).. but while the kids had their moments and have been louder from time to time, I felt like the other parents weren’t actual parents but pet owner.. I’m not saying this in a negative way against pet owners, but I mean, some of them surely felt disturbed, angry or whatever, but the main crowed surely thought
– why did she bring her kids?
– can’t she handle them?
– couldn’t they stay at home or at a neighbors or babysitter?

Sure, it’s only understandable that all the parents have their right to listen to all of these important information (they will receive in copy by mail the next few weeks) but this mother too. I don’t know if, but what about questions like =
– maybe she is a single parent
– maybe she moved here shortly and doesn’t have a babysitter
– maybe she wanted to be a good mother being at this information evening – even she had to bring her kids?!

After this information and presentation, all the parents rushed to the doors to see and investigate the list, to find out, in which class their child will be.. the mother and her 3 kids left the main hall at last and no one actually tried or seemed to talk to her, while I was standing at the back of the doors, to wait and see the other hyperactive parents check the list, taking photographs of the list to double check it at home. That’s alright, I took a picture myself, after most of the parents left.
I took the time and started talking to this mother of 3.
She just moved here recently, is a single mother with 3 young children, she is working full time and handling everything walking.. sure she could have brought her kids some place where someone could watch them but not at this time, it would have been too far and she needed to pick them up and walk back home after all. So she decided to bring the kids instead of missing it at all.
She has my respect! And this led me to my topic “humanity”, where is it? Honestly, when we left the school she even said “goodbye” to a small group of parents standing there, and they didn’t even blink.. I was really sad. I’m thankful for my father in heaven, that he showed my heart that this women didn’t bring her kids to interrupt the whole meeting, she had to! What else should she had done? Not come at all? Let the meeting be something for either just married parents, or ones in partnerships, or rich ones, or ones with grandparents and so on? It’s not always easy or as we plan and wish our life should be.. I know myself.
But today I realized how many people don’t even know, how precious and essential the smallest things can be in life!
I thank God for so many things and so many people in my life, I thank God for giving me sight through his Holy Spirit and I thank him so much for his son Jesus Christ my Love!

Jesus is the one who had shown me to look through his eyes to God’s children, and to share his Love with them. I love him so much for letting me realize what he see’s in us.

Earlier today, when I picked up my son from childcare the principle acted strange and just a few minutes later she said something to me, that left me thinking. But I responded with Jesus love and surely this conversation is not finished yet, as she told me and my son that because I picked him up, he should play and run around any longer, this would interfere with the Psychologie and their whole system.. I responded with understanding and love, and comforted her by taking my children as quick as possible to not interfere and keeping this clear and strict border between childcare-time and pickup time..

I know that God’s plan for everything and every person in my life is better than my own, or anyone else’s! And I’m patiently waiting for every page to be shown by His time…

Thank you for your precious time reading my story!
I’m praying for you to be blessed by the highest! Shalom 🙂

Trusting the Lord

I started yesterday night, writing on my new BlackBerry Classic, to get used to the great keyboard and the shortkeys.. when I accidentally pressed the cancel button and the whole text disappeared.

So I bought this blackberry because I broke my iphone and I wanted to get away from the addiction “Smartphone” with all apps that seem important and the image that I need messengers to stay in contact with my friends.. this is still a project.. as I’m a blackberry user for 2 weeks now.

I really enjoyed my time off lately and am more and more working on getting more away every day. Right now I’m only using 4 apps frequently including this one to write post on wordpress..
Lately I tried to organized more in every space of my life and living.. every day I’m de-cluttering some stuff that’s not in use for some time and that’s not being used in the next 3-6 months..
Being actively in contact and communication to my heavenly Father and being still and listening to his voice, being patient and calm going step by step further in life.. this year is a year for me and my family with some small and bigger changes, and in everything it is the Lords hand guiding, helping, directing where and how to go. Years ago, when I had to arrange and talk to the same or similar people I was nervous and stressed out, likely to be explosive in arguments because of my old me. Back then I didn’t had the filling love, the never ending grace you can only receive from our heavenly Father, he is the one who is calming the storm, who is in control of my life. It is Jesus who is walking every step with me, so I’m never alone. And I thank Jesus for his patience with me..

I started to read about Josiah, a boy with autism, it is really worth a read! It is a true story, told by his mother.. the book is called “Josiah’s fire” I will keep you informed about what I got and what God will add up to this journey.

And I will start a new baby blanket project soon.. I’m not sure yet about the pattern and about the colors.. but I know it will be great with God’s guidance!

Yesterday Amazon Prime showed “Letter to God” and it really brought me to tears, because it’s a true story and some scenes are really heart touching, but really worth a watch!

I started to think about my food and drink behavior, about the use of milk and milk products and meat.
Media is telling us that milk is super important and healthy, but is it? Some medics are publishing new studies about milk and what it does to human bodies, because cow milk is supposed to feed cow baby’s, not human. So while I was thinking about this argument, I was realizing, that it’s just simple to admit, while my baby can drink mothermilk, it’s just sure because I’m his mother so God made me feed my baby with mothermilk, same with animals, cows got milk when they have a baby, goats have milk when they have a baby, dogs and cats have milk, when they have their puppies.. but why is it in our heads to drink as much milk as possible? While studies admit that milk is even supporting bone sickness and other body problems for humans?
I started to try a new way, always God lead and not going the extreme, I tried Soy Milk and Almond Milk.. I have to admit, I’m drinking it with coffee and my Chai and it’s delicious!! As long as it’s healthy that’s a good one! I’m not saying, I’m completely away from milk and it’s other products, but I’m reducing it and using others instead.

I will keep you informed about all my new steps, ways and my life with God!
Thank you for taking your time reading my blog! Be richly blessed! Shalom!