I am talking to her about daily topics and immediately my heart starts to ache. One thought comes to my mind and I speak it out loud.
I ask her to go visit my grandfather at the old homes. Years ago he decided to move to this place in hope to be well cared of.
What really put me down emotionally is the fact and the thought, that no one of his family, not his ex-wife, his actual wife or his children are caring much about him. I can understand that it is a matter of distance, a matter of past and what has happened in everyone’s life, still a sudden pain reaches my heart and I start crying, I can’t stop it, the tears are just dropping down my face and when I finally stop crying, I try to find out what exactly happened to me.
So I start praying and receive the answer. My soul was the one crying out loud, because my spirit showed me how my grandfather is lying in his bed all alone, all by himself and in bad condition, not able to move, completely left alone – weeks – no months are passing before his children visit him, as there is always something else, something more important at that time than visiting their father.
My heart is crying as I feel his pain, yes he made wrong decisions, he did wrong things and wasn’t the father he should be for his children, but I feel his pain inside my heart and I keep crying.
The next day, we are at this place where he’s lying, we had to drive for an hour, it is a cute little village and the home is a Christian catholic place – even he’s not catholic still he chose this place, because he felt comfortable in it, when he got there around 6 years ago. Now he is lying in bed all the time, since approx 2 years, staring at the wall in his room, not able to read, not able to talk, not able to turn on the TV. Day by day by day by day.
When I enter his room and see him lying there, not able to move his hands and fingers, I can’t stop the tears from flowing down my cheek. I don’t try to stop them, I just let them down. Is it the sorrow to see the similarities of him and my mother and my aunt? Is it the pain I can nearly feel seeing him lying here not able to move.
I feel powerless because his son who was responsible for him gave away the responsibility to the government and now all other siblings are helpless, not able to claim for their dad to be at their place to be cared of.
I can’t understand, that a man with 5 children is held at an old home while he could be cared of at least at one house. The main point is money, the old home takes a huge amount of money because of the care and the room – I can totally understand that, but I guess it is unfair for those who didn’t have a family at all.
With this I pray to remember the elderly people, your parents, your grandparents because they shouldn’t be forgotten.