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Since some months now I’m thinking about my families life and our living situation. My family and I are living in a 2 bedroom unit, with a big living room, a big kitchen and 2 bathroom. This is a standard unit for a family like mine, but as the internet is full of either postings about more and more material and big homes, there are also those posts about minimalism, about van life and the freedom of owning less but living more.

This thought comes and goes and falls with my financial possibilities right now, but I really love the imagination about down-sizing, at least for some weekend or holiday. So what exactly? I love all those pictures and blog posts about the #VanLife and especially families with kids and their life and adventure on the road.

Why does this come to my mind? Well I love to travel, and I know my family does too. Sure we like to travel by plane, but this one is expensive and I think driving around let you see so much beautiful that you might lose on the way.
Last summer we just visited The Netherlands by car and really enjoyed it! I love the flexibility and the freedom you experience while going by car – if the car is driving. My car is old and it is an adventure to use it and see if you reach your destination. I’m thinking about how to reach my new goal on this personal wish to buy a van (converted or not) to use it as a great way to travel with the whole family and not missing anything from home.
I also checked on those cute little tiny homes, well these are also on my wish list. Guess I need to find the needed financial credits to purchase both or at least one of them on my wish list.

crocheting projects

Oh how I love all the new projects I see on Pinterest – the only problem I have is, that I shouldn’t take any looks on social media while I’m working on a project already.
It’s like right now, I’m crocheting one hat for myself and am also starting to knit a new baby blanket. While doing these I already built up wishes and images of another even bigger blanket in knitting version. Usually I prefer crocheting, but I just started to knit this one and I like it!
I also like to sew some small and big projects for the kids and for our dog and am still learning new skills.

Right now I’m knitting a simple baby blanket with blocks and different colours. I knit the blocks first and later I will sew them together to finish this beautiful project. There are several stitches I learned and love and as mentioned before I always think about new projects while working on my current ones. I need to finish this baby blanket now, because 2 cousins gave birth to 3 babies this year and I finished 2 blankets already (boy and girl) and still need a girl blanket for the 3rd baby.
After this I already made this new project in my mind, a big blanket, I’m not sure about the colours, the size, the pattern, but I have a hint of it, the colours will be nature tone (orange, brown, etc.) and I’m thinking about the moroccan stitch, or an CAL (crochet along).

To all of you crocheters/knitters with small kids, do you also experience this phenomenon that as soon as you pick up your hook or needles your kids cling to you like a bubblegum?
I love my kids, and I love to spent time with them and be around them, listen to their stories their days – but it’s really interesting, that every time I pick up my hook at least one is trying to sit on my lap to interrupt my work – with no bad intention of course.

And with my knitting skills, well lets say I’m a beginner and really try to take care to perfectly count and not lose a line.
How can I say, I really love all the yarn projects I did so far and am looking forward to all the projects to come.
It’s funny, because back in 2017 I thought and started to plan this blog and use some other social platforms to start selling my selfmade baby blankets.
I don’t know if this road is my path or not, if this blog is my path or not. I don’t know if I already found the perfect niche and so on.

Will see in the near future I guess 😉 until then I’ll share my thoughts with you. Be richly blessed!

Goodbye 2018

There are still 2 more days to come in 2018 before we start counting down the numbers to the next year. With this I just started thinking about the year 2018 today, what I’ve planned and what I actually did and what experience I collected and all the little extra’s.

Sure there are always plenty of ideas and thoughts you have at the end of a year and you really want to change or do something in the new upcoming year. Right now, I don’t really have plans for 2019, how can I say, I just gave it all to the highest, my heavenly Father Adonai.

I just checked my old calendar/planer 2017 what I wrote down for 2018 and have to say, I nearly did it all. What was on the list?

  • Bible reading plan
  • Crochet (for selling)
  • Learning new languages
  • Declutter
  • Household plan
  • Clean eating plan

I completed several bible reading plans, and I’m thankful for the app on my smartphone to make things really easy and handy.
Where I can choose the topic and receive the perfect bible quote, to let it sink in and think about it, where I can see it in my current situation and life circumstance.

The crocheting projects are rolling, mainly for personal use and as baby gifts for family and friends, this year I sold one toddler hat/beanie and I hope to continue doing so. The clean eating and household plan is still ongoing, yeah I guess this one is a life-time plan. Especially my clean eating, I did this up-great-life thing, it was good, it was healthy and delicious, but somehow I ended up eating even more, like my mind said “why to leave out all the delicious food”? So, after I lost several kg I gained even more back on…. this was and still is kind of frustrating, but somehow I started to take a close look and I figured out about what I need to change and why. This is one of my new challenges 2019.
About the declutter plan, just this month I started and finally finished the kitchen!! As a mother with small kids it’s really a challenge, I found myself cleaning, cleaning, cleaning from one room to the other and somehow it seemed that I will never finish, as it was always a new chaos after I finished one room.

About my language plan, I re-started my duolingo app and first I refreshed my Russian and also my Hebrew learning, I also try to watch enough videos on youtube to help it reaching good language skills – but I have to admit, that it’s a tough process, to keep up. Besides Russian and Hebrew I now and then like to learn some arabic words, while it’s really difficult to keep up with 3 languages – sometimes I wish I could just simply learn a language overnight. Ha, guess this is a dream many (who loves languages) have.

As I read and watched many others creating and having their bullet journals I intended to start my own, well until now I still haven’t, I just put my personal calendar into some sort of it, I love to write down every now and then, and in all the blank sites I practice my lettering, or I painted something or combined both. This is something I loved back in my past and still love today, so everytime I find some free time, where I don’t read, and don’t crochet or knit I try to combine bible study and art.
These are the plans I made 2017 for this year, I wish I could travel more with the kids, doing some weekend trips beside the holidays. Living more with less, this is still a plan I’m going for until I’ll reach it. What does it mean for me? Less materials and more life, more time with the family and less on social media. I know I can reach it with God, I only have to rely and trust his plan and I know his plan for me is the best. 

During this year I realised that I have too many hobbies and I need to organise it better, or select out some of them.
Combining family, personal life, free-time and so on. 

So with this I’m wishing you a good and blessed time in 2018 and a wonderful step into 2019. Be blessed!

Cold season

Finally it is becoming the cold season, it is cold outtside and windy and rainy from time to time. For me and the kids it is a beautiful time, spending outside if we want to, enjoying the fresh and clear air, walking and watching the nature change and just thanking God for everything we have.

Yesterday night I was thinking about one homeless man, whom I saw the other day. I was thinking about his condition, his life situation and about what I can do for him during this cold season.

I looked up at the internet about what they might need.

Money? Food? Clothes? Blankets? A tent?

So I thought about a sleeping back and took it to him today. I asked him about his needs, what he would like to have, e.g. food or more blankets/clothes.

His answer was first:

“Is this sleeping back new?”

Honestly, I was a bit surprised, but tried not to show it, I told him that’s brand new, even all the signs on it. Somehow I felt, he might not want it.

When I asked about food if I should buy him breakfast or some fruits, he simply said, he just wants and needs money.

Then he said something that made me think

“I need money, a lot. If possible 1-2 Mio €”

Sure could be jokingly, but then I also thought about his thinking. There are some homeless by bad circumstances, some because of addiction and some by choice. Some doesn’t want to live under the German system of tax and regulations. Somehow it seems that this homeless today is the one living outside by choice.

Thinking about homeless and all this topic it is difficult to decide whether I should help more or less. I don’t want them to thank me or something else, while I was thinking about how to help (besides money) I really thought I might help a little. The scene today instead showed me that it is best to ask, what they need, to donate after that.

My motivation was to help the homeless in this time, as it is turning really cold outside and they keep staying outside the whole time. Honestly I don’t want to just give money, as for most of them (as they say themselves) they need money to buy drugs and alcohol. I don’t want to be part or a helper for providing drugs or alcohol – when I want to help with what they really need like food or clothes or sleeping utensils.

Guess it’s a difficult topic, while it can be so easy.

Wishing you a blessed week and a peaceful time with Jesus Christ. Shalom

Tear

I am talking to her about daily topics and immediately my heart starts to ache. One thought comes to my mind and I speak it out loud.

I ask her to go visit my grandfather at the old homes. Years ago he decided to move to this place in hope to be well cared of.

What really put me down emotionally is the fact and the thought, that no one of his family, not his ex-wife, his actual wife or his children are caring much about him. I can understand that it is a matter of distance, a matter of past and what has happened in everyone’s life, still a sudden pain reaches my heart and I start crying, I can’t stop it, the tears are just dropping down my face and when I finally stop crying, I try to find out what exactly happened to me.

So I start praying and receive the answer. My soul was the one crying out loud, because my spirit showed me how my grandfather is lying in his bed all alone, all by himself and in bad condition, not able to move, completely left alone – weeks – no months are passing before his children visit him, as there is always something else, something more important at that time than visiting their father.

My heart is crying as I feel his pain, yes he made wrong decisions, he did wrong things and wasn’t the father he should be for his children, but I feel his pain inside my heart and I keep crying.

The next day, we are at this place where he’s lying, we had to drive for an hour, it is a cute little village and the home is a Christian catholic place – even he’s not catholic still he chose this place, because he felt comfortable in it, when he got there around 6 years ago. Now he is lying in bed all the time, since approx 2 years, staring at the wall in his room, not able to read, not able to talk, not able to turn on the TV. Day by day by day by day.

When I enter his room and see him lying there, not able to move his hands and fingers, I can’t stop the tears from flowing down my cheek. I don’t try to stop them, I just let them down. Is it the sorrow to see the similarities of him and my mother and my aunt? Is it the pain I can nearly feel seeing him lying here not able to move.

I feel powerless because his son who was responsible for him gave away the responsibility to the government and now all other siblings are helpless, not able to claim for their dad to be at their place to be cared of.

I can’t understand, that a man with 5 children is held at an old home while he could be cared of at least at one house. The main point is money, the old home takes a huge amount of money because of the care and the room – I can totally understand that, but I guess it is unfair for those who didn’t have a family at all.

With this I pray to remember the elderly people, your parents, your grandparents because they shouldn’t be forgotten.

Be blessed!

Love

Since I was in High School I was thinking about our worlds poverty. About the unequal structure of rich and poor, the ones that hunger and barely eat anything in a week and those who eat several times a day. At a young age my thoughts already started to question the system, the heart and mind of the people like me, yes sure I have a lot of financial struggles myself, but honestly most of them are part of my own action and daily behaviour.

While I was attending class and about 16 I was already working part-time as a babysitter to pay of my mobile phone contract and my violin classes I took twice a month. I talked to my mother about those organisations to help children from all over the world, who actually needs our help. And with only 30€ a month you can support a child. My mother then started to support a child from Vietnam, she was so excited and happy that she did it and told me immediately, i felt happy for her and the little boy. A short time after my mum started, the family of the young boy moved out the organisation area and so she was asked if she would like to continue supporting another child, she agreed.

Years after this I saw myself, with two little children, all by myself and responsible for the financial situation and I checked and double checked and decided to start supporting a child myself. This was 3 years ago, I wrote #WorldVision and since then I’m supporting a young girl from Ghana. She’s so adorable and I like to write her, get to know what she likes to do, if she is healthy and well. I can send her postboxes with little presents and I love to help her and her family.

10 month ago I was sitting at my friends breakfast table and we were talking about organisations like #hoffnungstraeger and #handsofhope from #JoyceMeyer. I decided to support another child from Hoffnungstraeger and they are really lovely, I can write letters via mail and it will be translated to my supported child. I support a boy from India, who attend school, so it is really lovely to receive letters from him. It feels right to be some sort of part of the family in a tough time for others.

A couple of weeks ago, a young man from Gambia contacted me and after we talked and I found out in what situation he is right now, I tried to bring organisations to him, people who work with similar situations and a little more know-how on what to do next, and found one #ProKidsGambia from Germany.

While this organisation is still little and not as big as #WorldVision for example they are limited in financial issues – well same as I – but they offered me to help me and walk with me through the procedure of bringing him, Alieu the young man from Gambia back to school and hopefully in the near future to a good job, so that he can support himself, his family and maybe his village and some neighbours.

Specifically for Alieu and his situation I started a Go Fund Me campaign and am currently searching for good hearted people to help us with little financial support.

Help Alieu is the link to our Fund Me Campaign.

Right now, he is doing a 4 week school course qualification program and is ready to start graduating his school and studies, so he can finally find good work to support his whole family.

For me as a single person, I can’t finance it all by myself. Even the organisation is involved it needs at least 5-8 people who are willing to constantly support Alieu financially so he can finish school.

I know it sounds a lot, it sounds too much, but if you give it a heart, a thought, that even with 5€ as a one time donation you help Alieu to buy a meal or two.

I thank everyone who took the time to read my blog post, I thank everyone who thought about helping Alieu even for one second.

I bless your day and wish you happiness, luck and much love!

Bible studies and strange things happened

When I started reading my bible about 3 weeks ago I felt this beautiful feeling this hunger for His pure and holy Word. I was excited as soon as the day started to finally have my holy time with the Lord. I covered my head while praying and reading scripture and felt wonderfully blessed and lead by His Holy Spirit, the Ruach HaKodesh.

Until I got hit by a heavy migraine in the 4th day. I just brought my kids to the school and the childcare and was happy to continue reading my own personal bible plan, as I entered my unit and immediately realised I have a starting migraine. It has been some time, since my last big migraine (I’m not talking about headache, my migraine starts with small invisible dots in my sight and they get bigger until I can’t see clearly and then it turns to this huge pain in my head, affecting my whole body to feel sick and weak) and this one really hit me by surprise. And even I took 2 pills Ibuprofen and lay down immediately the migraine and pain didn’t fade after 2 hours, and I’ve waited more; at the end it stayed for about 2-3 days until I fully recovered and this made me really disappointed. I wanted to continue my reading, I wanted to be in His presence but had this feeling “I’m not well yet, get well first” another days past and it was about one week after the first migraine that I thought “kids are sleeping, I can start reading again, at least a bit” and at about 8:30pm I felt this symptoms again – invisible dots growing bigger and bigger, I took an even stronger ibuprofen to just close my eyes and sleep. And so I did, I was disappointed, I was angry and I was clueless – why did I had 2 migraines in a row? Yes, in my past I experienced 2 migraines a month but this time was heavy and well I was unsure why.

And then I opened my bathroom cupboard the other morning to brush my teeth and get ready for the day, when I saw my old glasses.

I stopped wearing them 3 years ago, because I prayed and believe that my eyes are healed and still they are. Then I started to wear them again and yet here I am, it is better, the eyes are relaxing, still it is strange to wear the glasses again. Nevertheless still I want to double check with my GP to see if the glasses are still okay, if there’s something else with my eyes and what I have to pray for.

Still I could t get an appointment yet, but until then I will keep you informed.

Be blessed and have a good week! Shalom