Finding peace, knowing where to look at

I don’t know why, but since a couple of weeks I’m really exhausted and not able to wake up when the alarm rings the first time – honestly it’s even not the second or third time when I finally wake up, it’s more like enough time for me, to get ready in the bathroom and to have one coffee or Chai – without latte and constantly calling for the kids to wake up.. today we really made it until 15minutes before we had to reach the childcare – but actually we did it! As I said, exhausted day schedule. After this we headed to our christian-mother-kids-meeting-café I really like this group and company and tried to rest and relax myself for about 2 hours.
When I finally went back to the childcare to build some school starter package for my son.
Another new, exiting step for all of us… and while it is so beautiful to see the big pre-schooler waiting for first grade to begin it’s also a big step for both of us, son and me 🙂

About me being exhausted, I try to often rearrange my point of view and my focus to be positioned at Jesus, his Love and my heavenly father’s love for me, his daughter.
I like to have good conversations with him, and am often telling him about my day schedule and my kids schedule to let him be part of my life, because it is my decision and my invitation to him, to be part of my life, and it is the most important act of my day. So every morning I’m inviting God to be with me the whole day through, and it is really helping, it is supporting me mentally and spiritually to always reconnect to the father.

The weekend was full of conversations with many different friends and family and with some of them it’s really helping to just go back to Jesus, lay down all of the things I shouldn’t and couldn’t carry on my own and let him help me, in love as my brother. Some conversations may affect me negatively, so I learned to give them no room in my life, I put it under the cross within some minutes.

So Monday is nearly over here, while I was doing some decluttering I was listening via radio app to an Arabic – Canadian radio station and the second played song immediately throw me back into my past #Nancy singing with her beautiful voice. I can’t tell, it’s a long time intention and like to hear Arabic voices/music.
And with the time I will learn this beautiful rich language (same as 2 others, that are on my list)
So about the declutter – I never thought it would be this slow to finish it the first time. I started in one room and continued day after day to finish each room.. but honestly when I started to declutter it seemed that the more I’m throwing the more stuff is inside my unit!
I’m still working on that because I still want to reach a healthy minimalistic way of life for me and my family.
Will keep you informed, as soon as I get there – or close.

Be richly blessed dear brothers and sisters!
Shalom

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Stay cool

It is summer and the temperature rises high, the humidity is high as well, this indicates a potential lightning/thunder/raining combination. We will see, or at least maybe hear it later.

It is midnight here and I was thinking, whether to write one short quick post or rush into bed and try to get some hours of sleep. So you see I’m writing and enjoying and testing the blackberry keyboard. I have to admit that it is very comfy for someone who is typing a lot and who simply missed the real keyboard.
When I bought it 17 days ago some of my closest told me, that I wouldn’t stick to it a week.. because they know me well, and yes back then it was really difficult for me to change after being with apple for, we’ll let’s see and count, 8 years now. I started with the 3rd Generation the iPhone 3GS, and quickly I bought a new phone every year.. sure it’s nice, it’s optic and all the software inside is attracting and magically holding all its users. For me, at some point it was enough..
6 years ago I already tried to change and get away from iPhone but the PalmPre I was using and hoping to cope with the market wasn’t able to meet my preferences and needs. Then back in 2014 I tried Samsung, because this was and is the other big smartphone provider you can find. I had the new Samsung with a new mobile contract but was unhappy after a few days too.. so I sold this one as well and bought an iPhone until this one I was using latest the iPhone 6.
Yes of course, it is a good phone, it is more than a phone, it includes calls, messaging, mail, Internet, calendar, alarm, so many countless apps a few you really need and heaps of unnecessary stuff just to waste time – and this was and is the BIG point in my decision to leave apple, Samsung and all the others with heaps of apps no one really needs, but thinks they need to have because otherwise you’re out of everything and out of the world..
We all know that for some people the smartphone (no matter which company) is an addiction – well, I can tell what happened with me. Yes I was addicted to my phone, I was happy and so lucky to have this smart, super fast and stylish looking iPhone I was holding it the whole day, never leaving it around.
Sometimes I wanted to check the time – because I don’t have a watch anymore, but when unlocking the iPhone I was sliding through my screens, checking if there where any messages, or something interesting to see on IG, or Pinterest, or Twitter, or Facebook, or G+, or BBM, or Threema, or Whatsapp, or some more.. then I told myself to stop, because it’s too much again and while pushing the screen-lock-button I often realized that I didn’t even took a look on the time!! Arg, so I had to do the same thing again, but this time with high concentration to really just take a look at the time…

At one point I realized that the fact, that I was holding the iPhone and was waiting or typing a message made me aggressive or stressed and this affected my whole body and even worst my family!!
My son told me several times, that I’m at the iPhone way too often – and guess what? He was right!! I was! And this fact was a shock. Still not as easy as it should be, I tried to set myself a schedule about when to use and when to check the phone or some apps, but honestly, for me in my case I needed something more effective.
And this was the last day in June. Yes it was a good, a real good day, because while being on the way with my kids the iPhone hit the ground of the last train when we nearly arrived at our destination Bavaria. I was in shock and angry about myself because I was the one who dropped it!
At the end of the day I could arrange to use it for 2 calls, my parents and my sister in Christ, to tell them that we arrived safely and that my phone is total broken. Did you ever experienced, that your iPhone screen is so hard damaged that everytime you unlock it the screen things you touch it while you are not and then it starts to open apps, delete messages or notes and starts to write funny sms or whatsapp. Well at that point I locked it immediately but then it happened to block me completely, so I wasn’t able to unlock it with my numeric code, because the screen was half blind.. untouchable 😀

Can I tell you something? I had the best 3 weeks, that I truly enjoyed with rich conversations with other families, with my children and simply taking real pictures with my God given eyes! I can tell you, the time I spent with my kids was pure and a lot relaxed, because I wasn’t checking my phone every 10 min (at least). I was released, I was free, I was me – without the phone.
Sure something else was showing me, how addicted or lost we are if the phone where everything is written down and saved is is.
In my situation I wasn’t able to contact anyone by land line except my parents, no other numbers in mind. I was trying to remember birthday dates – but anyway wasn’t able to send greetings, or callings. I wasn’t able to remember the address of some friends to send postcards and well you can image the list continues.
So what did I thought of, when I was in this situation? First thing to do when you got home – buy an address book made out of paper – check, I did.
I haven’t start with the next point, the more important one, write down all addresses and phone numbers.

So what is different using the blackberry classic now instead of using either IPhone or Samsung?
On blackberry I receive the message, that I can use whatsapp until 31.12.17 after that it will close its service well I can change to the whatsapp10 app, I will try.
In general is it the lack of useless apps I can’t install, like too many messengers, like too many unnecessary Programms to work on pictures or other apps. Yes I know I could’ve simply just delete them on my IPhone, but hey be honest, how many of you actually do this? I always tried to delete as much as possible to minimize the trash and time-consuming ones, but it’s like hypnosis you seem to be not able to click the small x that’s shaking on the right top of the app.

I know, that in my situation I received help from my heavenly Father, who helped me to get away from the phone and the addiction. Because we can do all things through Jesus Christ!!
The BlackBerry brings me back to a normal phone usage, it’s ringing to indicate incoming calls and I (still) receive whatsapp messages for some more months. I can receive sms, mail and BBM, that’s enough.
And I’m using Twitter, trying to get more readers.. so this phone is keeping my concentration back on me – my life, my believe/faith and my family .
I thank you Lord!

And I thank you dear readers for taking your time reading my story!
Be richly blessed! Shalom

Shabbat Shalom

Shalom to all my readers!
What does “Shalom” mean? It is a jewish greeting and saying for goodbye but including your good wish of God’s Blessing for this person you are greeting or telling Goodbye.
For me Shalom means Love Greetings, it is not only Hello, or Goobye it is “Hello my dear brother or/and sister” it is “Be blessed brother/sister” and it is “God’s blessing to you dear brother and sister” in one word.
*Shalom*

The Shabbat is the one day of the week, where Jews praise Elohim Adonai and lay down all the work and just give this day for him.
It starts at Friday night when the sun gets down and ends on Saturday night when the sun gets down. So the day starts at night for Jews, it did for Jesus.. several weeks ago I asked myself why we changed it.. the western time or day starts at midnight, then we say it’s a new day.. but we could’ve leave it the Jews way.. to get back is not as easy as it may seem.. I need to change my complete thinking.. but alright, seems like a new challenge 🙂

Today we had a special day with our kids and church, to spend time together as a family of God, with Jesus Christ our brother in the middle of our festival. We had good conversations, nice games for young and adult and the food was so delicious. The weather was like an order, the sun was shining the whole day and yes I’m a bit tanned as well.. like I’ve been on a beach trip.
I enjoy my time with my family in Christ and really feel His presence. Recalling all what has happened the week before and just thanking the Lord for always standing in front of me, securing that nothing will hurt or harm me or my kids. I thank him so much, for his unconditional Love!!
The next week will be a tough one with a real strict schedule, but after this week I hope I can start to relax a bit.. who knows..

Last week I started thinking about some new Job opportunities, maybe I will walk a complete different way, I don’t know yet.. maybe I start working at schools, or at the army.. maybe something complete different..

As always, I will keep you informed..
Be richly blessed by the Lord – Shalom

How the weather changes us (the result of our behavior)

I’ve been waiting for today for some weeks now. I had my appointment at my favorite hairdresser changed three times, to this date – today. I was looking forward, sitting at the hairdresser’s chair, chit-chat with him about past and present, while enjoying this special treat just for me. Last time I went to my hairdresser was March 2016 – so more than a year ago!

My hair had grown a bit already and it wasn’t bad or not pretty but I was looking for something else, fresh, maybe with new color.. I saw my favorite series “Baby Daddy” with #ChelseaKane and I really like her hairstyle, so I send a picture of her haircut to my hairstylist and added my wish of trying out some colors as well..
Today the sun was shining a lot and gave us around 32 degree – so real summer feeling yay!

After cutting and coloring I was done (3 hours later), but somehow my color doesn’t shine through as I wanted and as my hairdresser intended..

All in all its a good nice haircut, but maybe I will stay patient and will keep growing it.. enough haircuts and experiments?.. I will see what will happen the next month’s.. in any way I got my tichel to cover up my head and hair, and where I can experiment with nice scarves.

Going back to my main Topic, about nature and human behavior. Yesterday I had my experience shared with you already and today? What was happening, I was driving the car with my children. The youngest was sleeping and not witnessing the scene that was happening on the highway. After a construction area where the speed limit is 80km/h they had the unlimited speed area with 3 lines. I was going 100km/h on the middle line, overtaking all the trucks but still taking care of the road while it started raining like waterfalls, when I saw this black car speeding behind me, showing his lights in a real aggressive way – still I didn’t thought of anything bad, I was thinking that maybe the driver wants to make me aware about a light or something else my car is having problems with. Still going 100km/h on the middle lane to overtake the trucks on my right side the black car slipped right when there was a gasp and tried to overtake me from the right side (this is not allowed in Germany) and this time I finally saw that this man was mad about me, driving too slow – for him. By any situation he was really angry and upset with me, that I was not driving as he wished I should. Just a little reminder, he simply could have overtake me from my left side, where cars should or are supposed to overtake those cars going 100km/h – but he didn’t, until then he was so mad at me because of nothing, he overtook me then just to place his car in front of mine to go on his breaks for letting me nearly crush his car!
He made me feel so many feelings at the same time, anger, fear, boiling blood and sadness.. why sadness? Because later I could feel sadness for him, because I saw that the devil was torturing him, that he was rushing like the Devils are behind him and I was stopping him to get by, while he didn’t saw his possibilities (on my left side).. I felt weak, because what to do or how to talk to someone while driving 100km/h and more? You can’t hear a word you just see expressions and gestures…
And of course I felt my boiling and rushing blood, this feeling because someone just thinking about himself, not taking care or a thought about others, he saw my kids!! And with this in mind I was really exploding, not understanding what is going on in his head?
My whole body was shaking when I tried to control my car while pushing the breaks so I won’t hit his car while he was pushing his break hard at 100km/h.
When he finally left the scene and headed out the highway he just showed me the “sign of the horns” or “Mano Cornuta”.
As some scene’s of Rock or Metal Music are showing, I realized what it actually meant. Who was actually trying to break me, to make me fear.
The devil will not win or fear me, because I have Jesus! And Jesus already won when the devil tested and tried to trick Jesus, but Jesus is Lord and the devil has to flee!!

This situation showed me, that it is important to know Jesus, to know who is the father, the son and the holy spirit, because truth will win always.
This horrible scenario today showed me what I have to teach my children, what role I have to show them and what important words to speak!
My son was in shock and asked “why this man wants to kill us?” then even he saw his hand gesture.

The world is changing, it was years ago and it is and will in the future, but we all need to be aware and awake to see and choose between light and darkness. And darkness hates light!

I thank God with all my heart, that he had and has his protective hand above me and my family, that I will not receive any harm! I take Jesus Hand every day, and invite his Holy Spirit to guide and lead my way and steps every day!!

Dear brothers and sisters, thank you for taking your time, reading my story!
Be blessed! Shalom

Reaching out to people

My dear readers, it’s been a while now and I have to admit that it was a wonderful time without internet, without my smartphone and just spending my time with my heavenly father and my wonderful kids. I enjoyed the time recharging and finding myself through God and feeling centered.

What have I done? I took some weeks off, spend my time at the bavarian forest and got back to my roots, as I planned to take my time off of my smartphone and bad habits to look at the screen every 5 minutes, and while I was on the last train to my destination my iPhone broke completely… suddenly I was without phone and without internet – but apart of being lost – I felt free. Completely free.
Sure I wasn’t able to take photos and memories to show the world online on social media, but this was part of my order.

I had the chance to talk to different kind of people, christian, believers and new to God, Jesus and Holy Spirit people. It was such a blessed time and I hope I can have a second trip like this.
My kids enjoyed it, beside of one week off because of influenca.

What have I recieved? Beside many talks with other parents I used my time talking to my heavenly father, start to question some of my life choices, what I can change, what I should change in thinking first and I was led to my eating behavior.
While reading and watching some books about our evolution of food and drinks I start thinking about my behavior… well it led me to the conclusion, that while I try to eat less meat, I will try to reduce it even more. Once a week or once every two weeks and I want to completely avoid buying meat from discounter. Years ago I really smiled about some discussions about living and eating vegan, sure I tried to live as a vegeterian years ago but found it too difficult for myself… while now, I’m a mother, living with my kids I want to try to start something new. I won’t put myself or my family to say we are living vegan, as I say before I think meat is important and given by our heavenly father. My thinking is – knowing and respecting what God gifted us and being more grateful and thankful for our food, especially meat as it was a living creature (no matter if Cow, Pork, Sheep, Lamb, Goat or Camel) I want to get far away from industrial meat producers who pump antibiotics and other stuff into their animals to let them grow fast no matter what.

This is my fresh start on this topic food, healthy living, healthy food that’s also biblical based. I’m also starting to look for a healthy, smart and God lead way to use milk, milk products like cheese, butter, yoghurt, cream etc.

So this will be one of my major projects in my daily life and of course I will keep you up to date with some biblical resources and quotes.

Thank you for reading and taking your time… Be richly blessed!

time off

I’m so sorry I haven’t shared a post in a while… I even can’t tell that I’m that busy – sure I am but not more than the other time.

It’s just that my iPhone broke and while I’m trying to get time off of all the electronic device it’s like a help for myself to just stay away from social media and my smartphone…
Still I’m not a blackberry user, although I got really attracted to the #q10 or #classic… maybe I should wait for the #keyone ? I’m not so sure yet and I know that this iPhone break might be a good reason to think and rethink about what to change and what to keep.

Last sunday my son got a challenge for saturday – the whole day – no electronic device, not even tv, no smartphone, no iPad no Laptop – nothing… back to basic – or as I like to say lately, back to normal… wednesday we had a nice camping trip with brothers and sisters from church and we tried to only use what God has given us, made fire in a fireplace and some of us slept outside. So much fun for the kids and the adults!

As I got the opportunity to write here on a laptop I took the chance to write at least one last post, before I’m off for some weeks because of a kind of vacation.

What did I receive lately from my heavenly father? To be honest – a lot! I had some nice conversations, some good and refreshing ones, some silent and thoughtful ones, some challenges while living this daily life with kids, other people on the road driving around or discussions on online platforms. And beside all that, the challenge to start working with forms and applications with the government.

Where to start? Some weeks ago my sister in Christ posted daily quotes and prayers for the week, and I really like and enjoy it! Praying for our friends, praying for our husband, praying for our parents and praying for our children. This led me to my own thinking. Thanking and praying for those God has sent to me on purpose on his plan. Thanking him and accepting his gift and his will 100%, relying on him even more than before! And I know for myself, there can never be an “I have enough of God’s Love, or his Grace or his Advice”, when I accepted Jesus, and prayed to God with all my heart the cry of “more” started to grow. Every day it’s “more of your Love”. Realizing that lately I got distracted by daily schedules even more than the other days before. It’s like I’m always putting more on top while I know I need time off and time to rest and especially time with God! Otherwise I can’t recharge – mentioning this, this is what I try to do the next 3-4 weeks. So I hope you are all patient waiting for my return.

And then for sure some new stories and life changes as well!

Planing on some new researches and plans. I will keep you informed.

Until then I bless you all my dear brothers and sisters! May God guide your ways

Discussion

Discussion

Before I followed Jesus like I do now, I honestly enjoyed talking and discussing topics, from unimportant to important topics. Sometimes I even got myself into so much temper that it would be a loud discussion, where everyone tries to implant his/her opinion into the others mind.

When I asked Jesus to be in my life 100% (not only 50% or when I need him) he started to change me in my everything through the Holy Spirit.

I became calm and quiet, before I used to babble along with every topic. Today I can listen, think about what was said and let it sit for some days. Before I was easily tempered and impulsive, today it is not easy to stay calm, but when something occur I fix my eyes on Jesus, my Lord. He helps me stay quiet.

With one close relative I was frequently talking hours about Religion, politics and life. When I turned to Jesus in life and actually live with Jesus, I stopped discussing and arguing on this loud level and keep my voice at a normal volume. He actually noticed it and sometimes it is making him losing his temper. I know it is not my relative when his temper is exploding, it is someone trying to get a chance to get me back to my old me. No chance.

For me I understood that it is not important to argue or trying to make someone understand and accept your opinion. Yes of course I can tell my point of view, my way of life, but I’m not the person to say to someone else what is right and what is wrong for him. Knowing and accepting this in life makes it so much lighter and easier. 

The other day I had a short talk on instagram via comment underneath a picture related to a biblical quote. The comment was stating that the Bible is a written book by men with a God living 2000 years ago not today – before I would have started arguing, writing long texts and explaining him why he’s wrong. Today I can simply reply to him, that if he is willing to read the Bible with his heart and mind, he will truly see that the Bible is full of life, truth and that even it’s validity back then same as today and tomorrow will remain. He shot his answer back, that he studied Christianity and its full of war, calling to fight and that Jesus invented hell. Wow, this was a GO for my old me to start the battle, while the new me, together with Jesus, could offer him Love, by writing him truth. As he studied Christianity and the Bible it is obvious that he didn’t read with his full mind and heart, as Jesus never asked anyone to start a fight, to start war or even to kill someone, even if the old law gave you the right to. Jesus didn’t invent Hell, as it is mentioned in the Torah (Old Testament) thousands of years before Jesus was born…

I can tell you, dear brothers and sisters in Christ, with our Lord Jesus, everything is possible! Me, I was irascible especially on topics about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. But with Jesus Love I’m able to give all the negativity away, I put it down at the Cross where Jesus died for me.

Thank you for reading my story! Be blessed!