Before I followed Jesus like I do now, I honestly enjoyed talking and discussing topics, from unimportant to important topics. Sometimes I even got myself into so much temper that it would be a loud discussion, where everyone tries to implant his/her opinion into the others mind.

When I asked Jesus to be in my life 100% (not only 50% or when I need him) he started to change me in my everything through the Holy Spirit.

I became calm and quiet, before I used to babble along with every topic. Today I can listen, think about what was said and let it sit for some days. Before I was easily tempered and impulsive, today it is not easy to stay calm, but when something occur I fix my eyes on Jesus, my Lord. He helps me stay quiet.

With one close relative I was frequently talking hours about Religion, politics and life. When I turned to Jesus in life and actually live with Jesus, I stopped discussing and arguing on this loud level and keep my voice at a normal volume. He actually noticed it and sometimes it is making him losing his temper. I know it is not my relative when his temper is exploding, it is someone trying to get a chance to get me back to my old me. No chance.

For me I understood that it is not important to argue or trying to make someone understand and accept your opinion. Yes of course I can tell my point of view, my way of life, but I’m not the person to say to someone else what is right and what is wrong for him. Knowing and accepting this in life makes it so much lighter and easier. 

The other day I had a short talk on instagram via comment underneath a picture related to a biblical quote. The comment was stating that the Bible is a written book by men with a God living 2000 years ago not today – before I would have started arguing, writing long texts and explaining him why he’s wrong. Today I can simply reply to him, that if he is willing to read the Bible with his heart and mind, he will truly see that the Bible is full of life, truth and that even it’s validity back then same as today and tomorrow will remain. He shot his answer back, that he studied Christianity and its full of war, calling to fight and that Jesus invented hell. Wow, this was a GO for my old me to start the battle, while the new me, together with Jesus, could offer him Love, by writing him truth. As he studied Christianity and the Bible it is obvious that he didn’t read with his full mind and heart, as Jesus never asked anyone to start a fight, to start war or even to kill someone, even if the old law gave you the right to. Jesus didn’t invent Hell, as it is mentioned in the Torah (Old Testament) thousands of years before Jesus was born…

I can tell you, dear brothers and sisters in Christ, with our Lord Jesus, everything is possible! Me, I was irascible especially on topics about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. But with Jesus Love I’m able to give all the negativity away, I put it down at the Cross where Jesus died for me.

Thank you for reading my story! Be blessed!

cloudy again

cloudy again

Tuesday morning and it is cloudy and partly raining, same like yesterday there is not much to do, while there is always something to be done.

Tonight I woke up at around 1 and stayed awake until 3. I was walking around spiritually and was thinking about what do be done next, what is important, what is less important, how about my schedule and so on. Sure this kept me awake and then I started my talk and prayer to God. I was thinking about getting up and start writing a new blog post but then I stayed in bed, decided to focus on my Lord Jesus so my soul could find rest at this restless night.

Labor Day is over, what did this day had for me? Two wonderfully blessed conversations with two close friends of mine. One conversation was more planet and nature based while the other one was a lot more spiritual, talking about our path walking and living with God, praying, talking, reading scripture and slowly bringing God’s living word into our lifes – not only reading it theoretically, but realizing how practically it can be if we allow Jesus to controll our presence.

Yesterday I started to read Judges, a chapter a day for the month May. It is a blessed way to stay connected with brothers and sisters all over the world. I read Judges before, but it is always nice to exchange what we received while reading the chapter. I’m using the bible app (you can download it on the App Store or on the Google Store), it is wonderful you can read it yourself or listen to the chapter.

Today’s chapter talkes about the israelites turning their backs towards God and praying to other Gods and even forgetting God and what he had done for them.
It is a strong chapter, it is a reminder for all human on this earth – because while the Israelites back then had no chance to return we have! And we have this chance because God loved us more than we can imagine – he sent his only son down to earth, so that we all – no matter if Israelites or from other nations –

11 And again, “Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles;
    let all the peoples extol him.” Romans 15,11

19 Therefore, go and make people from all nations into talmidim, immersing them into the reality of the Father, the Son and the Ruach HaKodesh, Matthew 28,19

We should wake up and be aware of being Disobedience praying or worshipping other Gods. How does this look like today? Isn’t it easy to say “these Israelites built their altars for other Gods and worship them, this will not happen to me” – really? We have to start searching through all our routines, all our behavior, our thinking about people, celebrities, thinks and wishes in our life.
How often did you push Jesus from his throne in your life and put your desire for a new smartphone, a new car, an expensive ticket for this once in a year concert of any singer or similar? Try to pray to your God today, to show you your altar that was build without knowing you pushed Jesus down in your life. This is the presence altar we build in our life, even if we build it secretly in our thoughts hidden from others.

Thank you for reading and supporting me and my blog. Be blessed!

Listen to God

Listen to God

Okay, while I was trying to not think at all and taking a hot bath (usually I’m not the “bathing” but shower person) I was thinking about this blog. I started in March, so it’s my second month now. It started with the urge to write and tell others about my relation to God, but really quickly the thinking of making some money besides was really attractive.
Still I haven’t started to put affiliate links, as I’m still using the free version of wordpress (not being on any plan).
I was thinking about moving my blog to a plan, but it’s a massive amount for me to pay upfront, so I’m still not sure about when and if I should do these affiliate links at all. Sure I’m putting some links about the books, movies, series or yarn I bought, but this is still a normal url link with no benefit for me. These thoughts were really annoying at some point, as I started this idea of blog to be a true life telling testimony of mine.
It is all about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit – not about me, trying to gain some pocket money.
So back to the roots, I was talking to God, while in the bath and not so sure about if I should continue this blog or not, what to write if I do and so on. I love it, the thing is, immediately there was this clear picture in my mind and something to tell you about me again, where God showed me his living word. So, maybe you’d like to read it –

In summer 2014, I arrived back in Germany, after my 2 years journey in Australia. Happy to be here at the one hand, blue about leaving my ever-wanted-to-stay-in country Australia – but it was my choice and at this time it was necessary for myself, to get a lot of things sort out.
After the long flight, it seemed that I was in a stage of wrapped awareness. When I entered the hallway of the airport in Germany it felt strange, not as being the german citizen but this shouldn’t be it. Later on I realized why I felt this way and that it didn’t caused the german ground, it was more the knowledge that I listened to God’s Holy Spirit and was on my way of recovery.

I had to start at zero, because I quit everything and everyone when I left. It was my choice back then and I had to handle the consequences. Step by step I started to take small steps towards all the broken relationships I cut on purpose, while I had to start with myself in the first place. It was a tough journey, where I discovered my soul and my worth in God. Before I lived in Australia my life and my approval was controlled by others, by family and friends, it nearly teared me apart, while this was my own fault.
The last half year of 2014 was tough for me, as I had to learn to stop letting people control my approval rather than God’s approval. I also started reading a book by Joyce Meyer – Approval Fix
And when I opend my bible app on my smartphone God showed me, what he thinks. I had to stop looking at other people’s opinion or conviction, and I read John 4, 17+18 and was touched, because I thought this could be me nowadays.

17 “I have no husband,” she replied.
Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband.
18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

Jesus talked to this Samarian woman, which was kind of excluded because of her lifestyle and past, but Jesus didn’t judge her past or behavior, more he saw that she was telling him the truth without even trying to tell him a lie or something to let her stand in a good light.
With this Samarian woman, many other Samarian’s start to believe and follow Jesus Christ. They were lost before but because of this woman they where saved.

While I was reading her story, it touched my heart, because first I felt worthless, because I don’t have a husband, same like her, but with this christian knowledge I was feeling and thinking that I should stay all by myself because it didn’t work with partner no.1 and not with partner no.2.

God doesn’t want me to be alone, so I know that he wants me to be with the one that God chose to be with me. I don’t have to be scared or impatient or anything else, because it’s God’s perfect plan and timing! He is giving me peace and my heart and my soul is calm, waiting patiently in obedience. Knowing 100% that God’s will is the best, sweetest, greatest, more than I can image now future for me than I can ever dream of.
So, how to listen to God? Start your relationship today, read his word, because it is a living word. Start to talk to the almighty, heavenly father, seek him as he is patiently waiting for you to return back to him – he loves you more than you can imagine!

Thank you for reading my journey. May God bless you today and tomorrow!

Breathe in

Breathe in

The other few days were cold and windy while it’s already late April. Seemed to mirror my inner feelings and fighting with several world related wishes…

Today is such a wonderful day. It started cold though but right now it’s such a wonderful warm day.

While combining walking the dog and creating some little adventure for the little ones we decided to visit a nearby forest. I love the atmosphere, the silence and simply nature. Talking to my Heavenly Father is as easy as talking to my children and I can simply recharge my soul and body while walking through the trees. 

The progress to start and proceed less electronic is still on going, because I’m starting everywhere straight away.. my habits with iPhone, iPad and TV, same as my sons iPad and TV. The spirit is already there while the soul and body is walking a bit slowly behind. Last week I started deleting 5 apps, and I try to keep deleting all unnecessary apps until I’ll just have one page of the necessary ones. Who knows, I was thinking about going back to Nokia, while this would mean no internet at all. Right now this is really difficult, as I’m posting my writings here via smartphone. Sure I thought about purchasing a blackberry classic while this is more an android as well.. though challenge right now. I just watched You Are Wanted on Amazon Prime about the electronic and internet addiction and how easy it can be for hackers to steal your identity and your life. Sure this one was just a Serie but well a bit truth is combined. I started looking from different positions and aspects about the electronic devises and how I use them. Pictures everywhere and honestly it’s like a force to post anything on instagram or co. just for the posting.

I started to read some books about Islam and converters – why Muslim women and men convert to follow Jesus, it was just a sample but I think it is so interesting reading true stories about real people converting while facing death penalties afterwards. So while I saw a wide range of testimonies about people, no matter what gender to convert to Islam, there was not one telling me that they converted because of God, or because prophet Muhammed told them to. Again, it is up to every individual, whether to chose a believe and then which believe in particular. All I can suggest and try to put near your heart is, go and search with all your heart and mind. And read – while this time we are overloaded with books, with the internet and all the kinds of information we can get it is easy and it should be our duty to seek the truth. I’m positive about you finding the light and truth for your path today! 

Thank you for reading and your interest in my writing. God’s rich blessing for you – Shalom

Saturday rush

Saturday rush

Saturday, the Shabbat for Jewish and messianic Jewish. As in a post a few days ago I did some small research about the Jewish calendar and why they see Saturday as the Shabbat day, and the day where you should rest, pray to the lord only. For western Christians it’s Sunday as for our Muslim brothers and sisters it’s Friday. As a Christian I start thinking and question “why Sunday?” Without any big research I’m just writing down some thoughts I have right now. 

You can find a connection between the Jewish Shabbat on Saturday and the Christian Sunday with Church service. The Shabbat ends on Saturday, and for Jews Sunday is the beginning of the 7 day week, as the Shabbat again stands for the last day or the day on which God rest after he created the world, nature animals and Adam and Eve. As for Christians Sunday is the day where Jesus rise from the death.

„After Shabbat, as the next day was dawning, Miryam of Magdala and the other Miryam went to see the grave.“ ‭‭Mattityahu (Mat)‬ ‭28:1‬ ‭CJB‬‬

So Sunday is the first day of the week, and it’s the day we celebrate Jesus being alive!

It’s a small information for some, but maybe informative for others.

Today I read a sample The Deception of Allah I’m still reading and not sure if I like it or not. It is a book about the life, family and history of prophet Muhammed and the Islamic Allah. Still there are some other books on my list, again I’m still reading Woman of the Bible already read 34 of 53, and several biblical plans and 2-3 books still wrapped not opened yet… time is running so fast and it’s time to organize time properly not wasting precious time for nonsense…

So besides my reading plans and studies I want to start what I was planning last year, I want to start changing my electronic devises… need to change my habits and with God’s help I can handle to get a distance to my apple products. Starting with my iPhone and iPad, switching to something else. You will be informed shortly.

Thank you for reading!

May God bless you all!

God is guiding

God is guiding

I hope you all had a blessed Easter Holiday with your family and friends.
These past few days I had some time to think and plan my life, my future and my present, in daily talk with my heavenly father I’m more confident and I can just give Jesus my worries and sorrow. Different aspects from job directions, different opportunities about living arrangements and some other small life challenges.

This was the first part I started to write 3 days ago. This time I was really challenging myself about writing something that is actually working inside me. It is important for me to have plans, as it is for many of us, maybe all of us. There might be some really living just today, not worrying at all. 

I can’t – well not yet. I’m on my way with God’s guidance to have more and more faith, letting go of control of everything I have, everything I am and especially everything I want. This is the most important part the things or situations I want. And I remember one quote “less me, more you Jesus!”

Back to my past few days, what happened? Daily schedule again, the days rushes by to fast, Easter just hopped away and well here we are Friday, nearly midnight and finally I’m writing this new blogpost using my iPhone to type in everything coming to my mind. I changed thinking, when I started this blog last month, I tried to tell myself that it’s a blog for sharing Gods love, Gods word and the Grace I received and that I want to share. But quickly it changed to stress, how to use social media for more traffic and then using this blog for making some money besides… sure this one is still on hand, but I learned something really important for me now, my heart knows that it can’t and shouldn’t run behind the money, biblical it’s already written down, we need to work for a living, but as I said in the beginning of my blog I want to write because I want to share my life with God with you guys, I should focus on that. Nothing else! And this is what I am doing now.

I started to fast before Easter and kept it until Good Friday, I prayed then I prepared the last supper and thanked God for giving me Jesus, I thanked Jesus for taking my sin to become a daughter of the highest. The next days were blessed (as is every day in my life with Jesus) I spent a lot time outside with the family, laughter and happiness, feeling the love Jesus gave us… when I glanced into the sky, catching some beautiful pictures, the different sunlight shapes and the whole miracle God creates for me – for us every day. This actual view keeps me in a mood, it’s similar to a spiritual trance, it calms my soul and touches my heart, same but at the same hand different as walking and breathing in the fresh air while walking in a nearby forest.

Have you ever tried to search God in everything you do and are? I started it, not everything for once, this is causing headache because we are not used to it, but I mean start somewhere you feel comfortable with. Back in my past I used to fall into deep thoughts about my life, what I’ve done, which steps I took, which ways I went etc. and I started to fall into a small kind of depression and put myself into dreams of how things could have been if I would have done things differently… this took some months until I grabbed Jesus Hand and listened to the Holy Spirit. Because falling into these dreams just keeps you away from the present love God is offering you right now. Everything I went through, everyone I’ve ever met, every talk I ever talked or listened to, was an important step for me towards my Heavenly Father… everything you had and have in life, all situations you are going through are not useless, always remember that you are never alone. 

I learned, that because of my free will I walked paths and streets that caused me numberless pain, but I know for sure, that there was not one minute that my Heavenly Father was away from me, he never left me alone, whether in Germany, the USA or Australia. And he will stay forever as his word is the truth.

Everyday I receive and realize more about this truth, Jesus came and died for me, how precious are we, that he had done this? Why are we so important to God? I can only answer for myself and this answer is to follow Jesus, to grab his hand and confess “Jesus you are the truth and the way to our Heavenly Father! No one comes to the father except trough you!! (John 14:6) 

He is waiting for you to grab his hand too ❤️

My journey hasn’t finish yet, I’m still in the middle or even at the beginning but I will continue writing and telling you what is happening in my life with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit! It is special every day!!

Blessings to all of you my dear brothers and sisters all over the world!

Do not love the world…

Do not love the world…

The Pesach is still on going, I’ve had and still have a lot time to think, getting lost in thoughts and prayers with my heavenly father and well, I receive a lot of input as well.

A couple of days ago something someone said really bothered me, because I just listen to it by mistake. It was something about me raising and educating my kids with a comparison of an old friend from the past. I was recalling this woman’s character and tried to figure out why I was placed in her position.

She was a loud person, her voice always rising towards her sons. At one point she crossed the line and started swearing at her kids with bad words, so her kids got used and used them also at primary school.
While she was the kind of woman to have good company with, because she was talkactive, cheering, friendly, well educated – but loud. She was a woman, that had travelled the world alone and together with her husband, before she became a mother.

Why did it bother me then, to be announced to be similar to this woman? I mean, she’s not that negative appearance, counting her strength and her past.

  • I am well educated as well
  • travelled the world
  • I’m talkactive and friendly

I guess the main factor is LOUD and the swearing part in combination with children – so in general I don’t want to be labeled as this loud, swearing person to be. I don’t like my voice rising, or screaming or discipline my kids, the dog or anyone else, so if I need to speak more seriously I really try to keep it at a limit. About the swearing part, actually I was raised to not use them at all, I was taught what they meant and in the end I didn’t feel the necessity to use them in any situation. I try to teach and educate my kids the same way, so they know these swearing words exist, but I try to make them boring words, or unuseful ones, so my kids will not get interested in using them at all. (Okay I know, at one point they might, but for me as a mum I try and give my best to educate and teach them what is important, but nothing is possible, if my heavenly father is not leading me through everything with his holy spirit!)

My past me would have been roaring up and loud, but today I step back, take some deep breaths and start to talk to God. When I start talking to him, no matter if silently or in volume, it calms me down. And one thing I learned in my past years, not to take what was said about me, like bad words or bad properties. Why? I think we got distracted and lost in our world, for what was written years ago, so it’s time to remember and just check it again.

So too the tongue is a tiny part of the body, yet it boasts great things. See how a little fire sets a whole forest ablaze! Yes, the tongue is a fire, a world of wickedness. The tongue is so placed in our body that it defiles every part of it, setting ablaze the whole of our life; and it is set on fire by Gei-Hinnom itself.” James 3, 5-6

This quote is aggressive for some reason, but pure truth. The tongue might be a tiny part of our body, but it boast great things. Just recall a situation, where there was placed a small lie, or someone gossiping and adding some information not being true just for a special effect or a boost of the story. How easily is the small flame transformed to a great fire? In my past I experienced it several times, it’s like watching a movie, some people around me start gossiping about others, while they don’t realize that lies always come out and truth always wins. There are also situations I experienced myself in my past, I’m thinking about me frustrated being single, I started hiding the truth while I was meeting someone and in the end it just made things worst. I don’t mean worst for me as a person, because the truth is always better and all teachings I had back in my past brought me closer to my Heavenly Father, because through the love of Jesus Christ and the leading of his Holy Spirit I am at the point where I am now 🙂 as it’s said, the tongue is tiny but still able to kill someone. How? False accusation, defamation or seduction to sin, and there are more on the list… you just need to stop it right where it was born and give it to Jesus, lay it down under his cross so he can handle it. This seemingly small situation was some kind hard work for me. Not physically but more mentally, as I was continuously talking to God, and until I could let go of the whole thing, so that I could completely say “it doesn’t bother me, because although I was directed, I didn’t accept or received it, as I got Jesus Cross in between.” I felt relieved, because I don’t have to re-think or talk about it with the person who said it, why, what was the source of this statement, where should it lead? I gave it all to Jesus and freed myself from any bad action that would normally cause this small (tiny) sentence. 

“Do not love the world…” this has a deeper meaning, but it fits here as well. To love the world meant other people’s opinion for me in my past. I was stressed to please everyone around me, no matter if family, parents, friends or others, I tried to avoid discussion, stress, frustration or arguments. In the end I broke down, because I was a people pleaser. Last year I read a book Joyce Meyer wrote, called People Pleasers (this one is an audio CD). I had to learn to stop trying to please everyone around me, and start focusing on the only important one now and forever = God!

It doesn’t mean that I should become rude against the world and everyone living on earth, no on the contrary, as I start to put thinks in the right order 

  1. God
  2. Me
  3. Others 

I create a strong base between the father and myself, so as I’m covered by his grace I can share it with my family, my friends, and others outside my comfort zone.

I’m still a full-time student, learning to understand how Jesus lived, what he taught the people, how God sees me, and who I am in his plan – but this course is the best I ever enrolled in my life and nothing comparable to it!

“Do not love the world or the things of the world. If someone loves the world, then love for the Father is not in him; 16 because all the things of the world — the desires of the old nature, the desires of the eyes, and the pretensions of life — are not from the Father but from the world. 17 And the world is passing away, along with its desires. But whoever does God’s will remains forever.” 1 John 2, 15-17

Dear brothers and sisters, I’m so thankful that you follow and read my thoughts and life-steps with God, be richly blessed by the almighty Heavenly Father 🕊