cloudy again

cloudy again

Tuesday morning and it is cloudy and partly raining, same like yesterday there is not much to do, while there is always something to be done.

Tonight I woke up at around 1 and stayed awake until 3. I was walking around spiritually and was thinking about what do be done next, what is important, what is less important, how about my schedule and so on. Sure this kept me awake and then I started my talk and prayer to God. I was thinking about getting up and start writing a new blog post but then I stayed in bed, decided to focus on my Lord Jesus so my soul could find rest at this restless night.

Labor Day is over, what did this day had for me? Two wonderfully blessed conversations with two close friends of mine. One conversation was more planet and nature based while the other one was a lot more spiritual, talking about our path walking and living with God, praying, talking, reading scripture and slowly bringing God’s living word into our lifes – not only reading it theoretically, but realizing how practically it can be if we allow Jesus to controll our presence.

Yesterday I started to read Judges, a chapter a day for the month May. It is a blessed way to stay connected with brothers and sisters all over the world. I read Judges before, but it is always nice to exchange what we received while reading the chapter. I’m using the bible app (you can download it on the App Store or on the Google Store), it is wonderful you can read it yourself or listen to the chapter.

Today’s chapter talkes about the israelites turning their backs towards God and praying to other Gods and even forgetting God and what he had done for them.
It is a strong chapter, it is a reminder for all human on this earth – because while the Israelites back then had no chance to return we have! And we have this chance because God loved us more than we can imagine – he sent his only son down to earth, so that we all – no matter if Israelites or from other nations –

11 And again, “Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles;
    let all the peoples extol him.” Romans 15,11

19 Therefore, go and make people from all nations into talmidim, immersing them into the reality of the Father, the Son and the Ruach HaKodesh, Matthew 28,19

We should wake up and be aware of being Disobedience praying or worshipping other Gods. How does this look like today? Isn’t it easy to say “these Israelites built their altars for other Gods and worship them, this will not happen to me” – really? We have to start searching through all our routines, all our behavior, our thinking about people, celebrities, thinks and wishes in our life.
How often did you push Jesus from his throne in your life and put your desire for a new smartphone, a new car, an expensive ticket for this once in a year concert of any singer or similar? Try to pray to your God today, to show you your altar that was build without knowing you pushed Jesus down in your life. This is the presence altar we build in our life, even if we build it secretly in our thoughts hidden from others.

Thank you for reading and supporting me and my blog. Be blessed!

Listen to God

Listen to God

Okay, while I was trying to not think at all and taking a hot bath (usually I’m not the “bathing” but shower person) I was thinking about this blog. I started in March, so it’s my second month now. It started with the urge to write and tell others about my relation to God, but really quickly the thinking of making some money besides was really attractive.
Still I haven’t started to put affiliate links, as I’m still using the free version of wordpress (not being on any plan).
I was thinking about moving my blog to a plan, but it’s a massive amount for me to pay upfront, so I’m still not sure about when and if I should do these affiliate links at all. Sure I’m putting some links about the books, movies, series or yarn I bought, but this is still a normal url link with no benefit for me. These thoughts were really annoying at some point, as I started this idea of blog to be a true life telling testimony of mine.
It is all about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit – not about me, trying to gain some pocket money.
So back to the roots, I was talking to God, while in the bath and not so sure about if I should continue this blog or not, what to write if I do and so on. I love it, the thing is, immediately there was this clear picture in my mind and something to tell you about me again, where God showed me his living word. So, maybe you’d like to read it –

In summer 2014, I arrived back in Germany, after my 2 years journey in Australia. Happy to be here at the one hand, blue about leaving my ever-wanted-to-stay-in country Australia – but it was my choice and at this time it was necessary for myself, to get a lot of things sort out.
After the long flight, it seemed that I was in a stage of wrapped awareness. When I entered the hallway of the airport in Germany it felt strange, not as being the german citizen but this shouldn’t be it. Later on I realized why I felt this way and that it didn’t caused the german ground, it was more the knowledge that I listened to God’s Holy Spirit and was on my way of recovery.

I had to start at zero, because I quit everything and everyone when I left. It was my choice back then and I had to handle the consequences. Step by step I started to take small steps towards all the broken relationships I cut on purpose, while I had to start with myself in the first place. It was a tough journey, where I discovered my soul and my worth in God. Before I lived in Australia my life and my approval was controlled by others, by family and friends, it nearly teared me apart, while this was my own fault.
The last half year of 2014 was tough for me, as I had to learn to stop letting people control my approval rather than God’s approval. I also started reading a book by Joyce Meyer – Approval Fix
And when I opend my bible app on my smartphone God showed me, what he thinks. I had to stop looking at other people’s opinion or conviction, and I read John 4, 17+18 and was touched, because I thought this could be me nowadays.

17 “I have no husband,” she replied.
Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband.
18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

Jesus talked to this Samarian woman, which was kind of excluded because of her lifestyle and past, but Jesus didn’t judge her past or behavior, more he saw that she was telling him the truth without even trying to tell him a lie or something to let her stand in a good light.
With this Samarian woman, many other Samarian’s start to believe and follow Jesus Christ. They were lost before but because of this woman they where saved.

While I was reading her story, it touched my heart, because first I felt worthless, because I don’t have a husband, same like her, but with this christian knowledge I was feeling and thinking that I should stay all by myself because it didn’t work with partner no.1 and not with partner no.2.

God doesn’t want me to be alone, so I know that he wants me to be with the one that God chose to be with me. I don’t have to be scared or impatient or anything else, because it’s God’s perfect plan and timing! He is giving me peace and my heart and my soul is calm, waiting patiently in obedience. Knowing 100% that God’s will is the best, sweetest, greatest, more than I can image now future for me than I can ever dream of.
So, how to listen to God? Start your relationship today, read his word, because it is a living word. Start to talk to the almighty, heavenly father, seek him as he is patiently waiting for you to return back to him – he loves you more than you can imagine!

Thank you for reading my journey. May God bless you today and tomorrow!

Breathe in

Breathe in

The other few days were cold and windy while it’s already late April. Seemed to mirror my inner feelings and fighting with several world related wishes…

Today is such a wonderful day. It started cold though but right now it’s such a wonderful warm day.

While combining walking the dog and creating some little adventure for the little ones we decided to visit a nearby forest. I love the atmosphere, the silence and simply nature. Talking to my Heavenly Father is as easy as talking to my children and I can simply recharge my soul and body while walking through the trees. 

The progress to start and proceed less electronic is still on going, because I’m starting everywhere straight away.. my habits with iPhone, iPad and TV, same as my sons iPad and TV. The spirit is already there while the soul and body is walking a bit slowly behind. Last week I started deleting 5 apps, and I try to keep deleting all unnecessary apps until I’ll just have one page of the necessary ones. Who knows, I was thinking about going back to Nokia, while this would mean no internet at all. Right now this is really difficult, as I’m posting my writings here via smartphone. Sure I thought about purchasing a blackberry classic while this is more an android as well.. though challenge right now. I just watched You Are Wanted on Amazon Prime about the electronic and internet addiction and how easy it can be for hackers to steal your identity and your life. Sure this one was just a Serie but well a bit truth is combined. I started looking from different positions and aspects about the electronic devises and how I use them. Pictures everywhere and honestly it’s like a force to post anything on instagram or co. just for the posting.

I started to read some books about Islam and converters – why Muslim women and men convert to follow Jesus, it was just a sample but I think it is so interesting reading true stories about real people converting while facing death penalties afterwards. So while I saw a wide range of testimonies about people, no matter what gender to convert to Islam, there was not one telling me that they converted because of God, or because prophet Muhammed told them to. Again, it is up to every individual, whether to chose a believe and then which believe in particular. All I can suggest and try to put near your heart is, go and search with all your heart and mind. And read – while this time we are overloaded with books, with the internet and all the kinds of information we can get it is easy and it should be our duty to seek the truth. I’m positive about you finding the light and truth for your path today! 

Thank you for reading and your interest in my writing. God’s rich blessing for you – Shalom

Saturday rush

Saturday rush

Saturday, the Shabbat for Jewish and messianic Jewish. As in a post a few days ago I did some small research about the Jewish calendar and why they see Saturday as the Shabbat day, and the day where you should rest, pray to the lord only. For western Christians it’s Sunday as for our Muslim brothers and sisters it’s Friday. As a Christian I start thinking and question “why Sunday?” Without any big research I’m just writing down some thoughts I have right now. 

You can find a connection between the Jewish Shabbat on Saturday and the Christian Sunday with Church service. The Shabbat ends on Saturday, and for Jews Sunday is the beginning of the 7 day week, as the Shabbat again stands for the last day or the day on which God rest after he created the world, nature animals and Adam and Eve. As for Christians Sunday is the day where Jesus rise from the death.

„After Shabbat, as the next day was dawning, Miryam of Magdala and the other Miryam went to see the grave.“ ‭‭Mattityahu (Mat)‬ ‭28:1‬ ‭CJB‬‬

So Sunday is the first day of the week, and it’s the day we celebrate Jesus being alive!

It’s a small information for some, but maybe informative for others.

Today I read a sample The Deception of Allah I’m still reading and not sure if I like it or not. It is a book about the life, family and history of prophet Muhammed and the Islamic Allah. Still there are some other books on my list, again I’m still reading Woman of the Bible already read 34 of 53, and several biblical plans and 2-3 books still wrapped not opened yet… time is running so fast and it’s time to organize time properly not wasting precious time for nonsense…

So besides my reading plans and studies I want to start what I was planning last year, I want to start changing my electronic devises… need to change my habits and with God’s help I can handle to get a distance to my apple products. Starting with my iPhone and iPad, switching to something else. You will be informed shortly.

Thank you for reading!

May God bless you all!

Do not love the world…

Do not love the world…

The Pesach is still on going, I’ve had and still have a lot time to think, getting lost in thoughts and prayers with my heavenly father and well, I receive a lot of input as well.

A couple of days ago something someone said really bothered me, because I just listen to it by mistake. It was something about me raising and educating my kids with a comparison of an old friend from the past. I was recalling this woman’s character and tried to figure out why I was placed in her position.

She was a loud person, her voice always rising towards her sons. At one point she crossed the line and started swearing at her kids with bad words, so her kids got used and used them also at primary school.
While she was the kind of woman to have good company with, because she was talkactive, cheering, friendly, well educated – but loud. She was a woman, that had travelled the world alone and together with her husband, before she became a mother.

Why did it bother me then, to be announced to be similar to this woman? I mean, she’s not that negative appearance, counting her strength and her past.

  • I am well educated as well
  • travelled the world
  • I’m talkactive and friendly

I guess the main factor is LOUD and the swearing part in combination with children – so in general I don’t want to be labeled as this loud, swearing person to be. I don’t like my voice rising, or screaming or discipline my kids, the dog or anyone else, so if I need to speak more seriously I really try to keep it at a limit. About the swearing part, actually I was raised to not use them at all, I was taught what they meant and in the end I didn’t feel the necessity to use them in any situation. I try to teach and educate my kids the same way, so they know these swearing words exist, but I try to make them boring words, or unuseful ones, so my kids will not get interested in using them at all. (Okay I know, at one point they might, but for me as a mum I try and give my best to educate and teach them what is important, but nothing is possible, if my heavenly father is not leading me through everything with his holy spirit!)

My past me would have been roaring up and loud, but today I step back, take some deep breaths and start to talk to God. When I start talking to him, no matter if silently or in volume, it calms me down. And one thing I learned in my past years, not to take what was said about me, like bad words or bad properties. Why? I think we got distracted and lost in our world, for what was written years ago, so it’s time to remember and just check it again.

So too the tongue is a tiny part of the body, yet it boasts great things. See how a little fire sets a whole forest ablaze! Yes, the tongue is a fire, a world of wickedness. The tongue is so placed in our body that it defiles every part of it, setting ablaze the whole of our life; and it is set on fire by Gei-Hinnom itself.” James 3, 5-6

This quote is aggressive for some reason, but pure truth. The tongue might be a tiny part of our body, but it boast great things. Just recall a situation, where there was placed a small lie, or someone gossiping and adding some information not being true just for a special effect or a boost of the story. How easily is the small flame transformed to a great fire? In my past I experienced it several times, it’s like watching a movie, some people around me start gossiping about others, while they don’t realize that lies always come out and truth always wins. There are also situations I experienced myself in my past, I’m thinking about me frustrated being single, I started hiding the truth while I was meeting someone and in the end it just made things worst. I don’t mean worst for me as a person, because the truth is always better and all teachings I had back in my past brought me closer to my Heavenly Father, because through the love of Jesus Christ and the leading of his Holy Spirit I am at the point where I am now 🙂 as it’s said, the tongue is tiny but still able to kill someone. How? False accusation, defamation or seduction to sin, and there are more on the list… you just need to stop it right where it was born and give it to Jesus, lay it down under his cross so he can handle it. This seemingly small situation was some kind hard work for me. Not physically but more mentally, as I was continuously talking to God, and until I could let go of the whole thing, so that I could completely say “it doesn’t bother me, because although I was directed, I didn’t accept or received it, as I got Jesus Cross in between.” I felt relieved, because I don’t have to re-think or talk about it with the person who said it, why, what was the source of this statement, where should it lead? I gave it all to Jesus and freed myself from any bad action that would normally cause this small (tiny) sentence. 

“Do not love the world…” this has a deeper meaning, but it fits here as well. To love the world meant other people’s opinion for me in my past. I was stressed to please everyone around me, no matter if family, parents, friends or others, I tried to avoid discussion, stress, frustration or arguments. In the end I broke down, because I was a people pleaser. Last year I read a book Joyce Meyer wrote, called People Pleasers (this one is an audio CD). I had to learn to stop trying to please everyone around me, and start focusing on the only important one now and forever = God!

It doesn’t mean that I should become rude against the world and everyone living on earth, no on the contrary, as I start to put thinks in the right order 

  1. God
  2. Me
  3. Others 

I create a strong base between the father and myself, so as I’m covered by his grace I can share it with my family, my friends, and others outside my comfort zone.

I’m still a full-time student, learning to understand how Jesus lived, what he taught the people, how God sees me, and who I am in his plan – but this course is the best I ever enrolled in my life and nothing comparable to it!

“Do not love the world or the things of the world. If someone loves the world, then love for the Father is not in him; 16 because all the things of the world — the desires of the old nature, the desires of the eyes, and the pretensions of life — are not from the Father but from the world. 17 And the world is passing away, along with its desires. But whoever does God’s will remains forever.” 1 John 2, 15-17

Dear brothers and sisters, I’m so thankful that you follow and read my thoughts and life-steps with God, be richly blessed by the almighty Heavenly Father 🕊



Reading the Bible it is common to read about the Fasting, while the israelites had several days to do their fasting the most important day for Jewish people (even kids start at, girls 12 and boys 13 years) is the Yom Kippur on the 10. Tishri, it starts on 9. Tishri in the evening until the next evening. Usually it is a fasting of 25 hours, no food and no drink. The Yom Kippur is the highest holiday, this year it will be on the 30. September 2017 – starting on the evening.


When Jesus went to the desert to fast for 40 days, he didn’t eat for 40 days and 40 nights –

„After Yeshua had fasted forty days and nights, he was hungry.“

‭‭Mattityahu (Mat)‬ ‭4:2‬ ‭CJB‬‬

Lately it is common to start fasting on march for 40 days not eating chocolate, sweets, meat, not drinking alcohol, some might stop smoking for this period of time, not watching the tv, the smartphone, the PlayStation/XBOX or related to these. Until Good Friday as this is the day when Jesus was sold out to the Israelites, judged to hang on the cross to pay for our sin.

John 10:9

On Thursday 06.04.17 (AM 5777 10 Nisan) I started my fasting. I started the evening before, not eating anything only drinking a lot water and tea, as I’m still occasionally breastfeeding my little one. I haven’t done fasting before, but somehow I had this wish and feeling deeply inside my heart to follow Jesus  example on how to fast. The first day I broke fasting at about 3pm, second day as well. Today I read that on Good Friday in strict traditional Lutheranism you break fasting at 3pm, as this is the time Jesus had fulfilled what saved our life’s, he gave his blood to cover our sin, and died on the cross. As today is Good Friday, I’m so thankful what Jesus had done for us, for me. His gift is more than precious, more than special. He gave what no one else gave, he put himself on my place while I was a sinner still, he loved me already and showed his love with taking my sin and paid the highest price, so that I should be free. Today I wish you a blessed day at home, or wherever you are with your family, your beloved ones, your friends and Jesus inside your heart! It doesn’t matter if you are already following Jesus or not, he took the Cross for YOU too, this is unconditional LOVE!!! 

May God give you his blessing in all you do today and the days after, that he might open your eyes but more than that to open your heart for his Holy Spirit, to receive him and walk with Jesus the straight path! 




A couple of weeks ago I had this question that was inside my heart for days. Last year I started wearing the Tichel and this was related to my jewish relation through Jesus Christ. About my journey to wear a headcover you can simply use the menu bar and click to jewish roots and then head covering. Since then a lot had happened, not surprisingly it led me to my question about the calendar right now. Living in Germany, we use the gregorian calendar – 2017, april 13th.
When I start reading about the origin and the jewish calendar, I start to build a more stronger root to my own origin.

The Jewish Calendar – הלוח העברי – ha-lu’ach ha-iwri, is a Lunisolar Calendar, means that it is aligned to the moon phase. While we start our new year in January, the jewish calendar usually begins in September or October with its first month Tishri.

The era used since the Middle Ages is the Anno Mundi epoch (Latin for “in the year of the world”; Hebrew  לבריאת העולם‎, “from the creation of the world”).
AM 5777 began at sunset on 2 October 2016 and will end at sunset on 20 September 2017.

The jewish day starts from sunset (start of “the evening”) to the next sunset. First this sounds really unusual, but as I read it, and double checked it in the bible, it sounds right. It is just another point of view. Same as the jewish day names, I don’t know why before there was no big interest, but I’m really glad that God brought me here to study and read a bit further. And it is so wonderful that with todays electronic ways you are able to read everything you want, double check it through the internet or even books within a few hours. For todays post I’m using Wikipedia and my Bible (book and iPhone app as well).

© my Bible

One day I was thinking about using the jewish calendar primarily, but then again I was asking myself how to combine both, as the gregorian calendar is the standard calendar right now. Besides jewish calendar studies I started to learn hebrew as well, this is a real challenge, besides Russian and Arabic this wonderful language is really inside my heart. I use Duolingo and first I used Babbel, while Babbel is really good too, it is used with a plan, monthly, quarterly, half year or yearly. It is still cheaper than a course in a language school, but then I found Duolingo where I can learn Russian and Hebrew – while there is still no Arabic or Aramaic whether on Babbel nor Duolingo. I started to learn some basics of Arabic on Maha’s YouTube Channel, she is lovely and it’s fun to learn any language with her!

Back to my main topic, how to combine both calendars? In my case, I’m starting slowly. First I did, I added the Jewish calendar to my iPhone calendar =

AM 5777 17 Nisan


And I made a calendar time table in one of my journal 🙂

© Blog Journal Jewish Calendar

Next ones will be the weekly days =

  1. Yom Rishon – יום ראשון‎ (abbreviated יום א׳‎), meaning “first day” [corresponds to Sunday] (starting at preceding sunset of Saturday)
  2. Yom Sheni – יום שני‎ (abbr. יום ב׳‎) meaning “second day” [corresponds to Monday]
  3. Yom Shlishi – יום שלישי‎ (abbr. יום ג׳‎) meaning “third day” [corresponds to Tuesday]
  4. Yom Reviʻi – יום רביעי‎ (abbr. יום ד׳‎) meaning “fourth day” [corresponds to Wednesday]
  5. Yom Chamishi – יום חמישי‎ (abbr. יום ה׳‎) = “fifth day” [corresponds to Thursday]
  6. Yom Shishi – יום ששי‎ (abbr. יום ו׳‎) meaning “sixth day” [corresponds to Friday]
  7. Yom Shabbat – יום שבת‎ (abbr. יום ש׳‎), or more usually Shabbat – שבת‎ meaning “rest day” [corresponds to Saturday]

Thank you for reading my blog posts and my thoughts.
May God bless you!