Finding peace, knowing where to look at

I don’t know why, but since a couple of weeks I’m really exhausted and not able to wake up when the alarm rings the first time – honestly it’s even not the second or third time when I finally wake up, it’s more like enough time for me, to get ready in the bathroom and to have one coffee or Chai – without latte and constantly calling for the kids to wake up.. today we really made it until 15minutes before we had to reach the childcare – but actually we did it! As I said, exhausted day schedule. After this we headed to our christian-mother-kids-meeting-café I really like this group and company and tried to rest and relax myself for about 2 hours.
When I finally went back to the childcare to build some school starter package for my son.
Another new, exiting step for all of us… and while it is so beautiful to see the big pre-schooler waiting for first grade to begin it’s also a big step for both of us, son and me 🙂

About me being exhausted, I try to often rearrange my point of view and my focus to be positioned at Jesus, his Love and my heavenly father’s love for me, his daughter.
I like to have good conversations with him, and am often telling him about my day schedule and my kids schedule to let him be part of my life, because it is my decision and my invitation to him, to be part of my life, and it is the most important act of my day. So every morning I’m inviting God to be with me the whole day through, and it is really helping, it is supporting me mentally and spiritually to always reconnect to the father.

The weekend was full of conversations with many different friends and family and with some of them it’s really helping to just go back to Jesus, lay down all of the things I shouldn’t and couldn’t carry on my own and let him help me, in love as my brother. Some conversations may affect me negatively, so I learned to give them no room in my life, I put it under the cross within some minutes.

So Monday is nearly over here, while I was doing some decluttering I was listening via radio app to an Arabic – Canadian radio station and the second played song immediately throw me back into my past #Nancy singing with her beautiful voice. I can’t tell, it’s a long time intention and like to hear Arabic voices/music.
And with the time I will learn this beautiful rich language (same as 2 others, that are on my list)
So about the declutter – I never thought it would be this slow to finish it the first time. I started in one room and continued day after day to finish each room.. but honestly when I started to declutter it seemed that the more I’m throwing the more stuff is inside my unit!
I’m still working on that because I still want to reach a healthy minimalistic way of life for me and my family.
Will keep you informed, as soon as I get there – or close.

Be richly blessed dear brothers and sisters!
Shalom

Stay cool

It is summer and the temperature rises high, the humidity is high as well, this indicates a potential lightning/thunder/raining combination. We will see, or at least maybe hear it later.

It is midnight here and I was thinking, whether to write one short quick post or rush into bed and try to get some hours of sleep. So you see I’m writing and enjoying and testing the blackberry keyboard. I have to admit that it is very comfy for someone who is typing a lot and who simply missed the real keyboard.
When I bought it 17 days ago some of my closest told me, that I wouldn’t stick to it a week.. because they know me well, and yes back then it was really difficult for me to change after being with apple for, we’ll let’s see and count, 8 years now. I started with the 3rd Generation the iPhone 3GS, and quickly I bought a new phone every year.. sure it’s nice, it’s optic and all the software inside is attracting and magically holding all its users. For me, at some point it was enough..
6 years ago I already tried to change and get away from iPhone but the PalmPre I was using and hoping to cope with the market wasn’t able to meet my preferences and needs. Then back in 2014 I tried Samsung, because this was and is the other big smartphone provider you can find. I had the new Samsung with a new mobile contract but was unhappy after a few days too.. so I sold this one as well and bought an iPhone until this one I was using latest the iPhone 6.
Yes of course, it is a good phone, it is more than a phone, it includes calls, messaging, mail, Internet, calendar, alarm, so many countless apps a few you really need and heaps of unnecessary stuff just to waste time – and this was and is the BIG point in my decision to leave apple, Samsung and all the others with heaps of apps no one really needs, but thinks they need to have because otherwise you’re out of everything and out of the world..
We all know that for some people the smartphone (no matter which company) is an addiction – well, I can tell what happened with me. Yes I was addicted to my phone, I was happy and so lucky to have this smart, super fast and stylish looking iPhone I was holding it the whole day, never leaving it around.
Sometimes I wanted to check the time – because I don’t have a watch anymore, but when unlocking the iPhone I was sliding through my screens, checking if there where any messages, or something interesting to see on IG, or Pinterest, or Twitter, or Facebook, or G+, or BBM, or Threema, or Whatsapp, or some more.. then I told myself to stop, because it’s too much again and while pushing the screen-lock-button I often realized that I didn’t even took a look on the time!! Arg, so I had to do the same thing again, but this time with high concentration to really just take a look at the time…

At one point I realized that the fact, that I was holding the iPhone and was waiting or typing a message made me aggressive or stressed and this affected my whole body and even worst my family!!
My son told me several times, that I’m at the iPhone way too often – and guess what? He was right!! I was! And this fact was a shock. Still not as easy as it should be, I tried to set myself a schedule about when to use and when to check the phone or some apps, but honestly, for me in my case I needed something more effective.
And this was the last day in June. Yes it was a good, a real good day, because while being on the way with my kids the iPhone hit the ground of the last train when we nearly arrived at our destination Bavaria. I was in shock and angry about myself because I was the one who dropped it!
At the end of the day I could arrange to use it for 2 calls, my parents and my sister in Christ, to tell them that we arrived safely and that my phone is total broken. Did you ever experienced, that your iPhone screen is so hard damaged that everytime you unlock it the screen things you touch it while you are not and then it starts to open apps, delete messages or notes and starts to write funny sms or whatsapp. Well at that point I locked it immediately but then it happened to block me completely, so I wasn’t able to unlock it with my numeric code, because the screen was half blind.. untouchable 😀

Can I tell you something? I had the best 3 weeks, that I truly enjoyed with rich conversations with other families, with my children and simply taking real pictures with my God given eyes! I can tell you, the time I spent with my kids was pure and a lot relaxed, because I wasn’t checking my phone every 10 min (at least). I was released, I was free, I was me – without the phone.
Sure something else was showing me, how addicted or lost we are if the phone where everything is written down and saved is is.
In my situation I wasn’t able to contact anyone by land line except my parents, no other numbers in mind. I was trying to remember birthday dates – but anyway wasn’t able to send greetings, or callings. I wasn’t able to remember the address of some friends to send postcards and well you can image the list continues.
So what did I thought of, when I was in this situation? First thing to do when you got home – buy an address book made out of paper – check, I did.
I haven’t start with the next point, the more important one, write down all addresses and phone numbers.

So what is different using the blackberry classic now instead of using either IPhone or Samsung?
On blackberry I receive the message, that I can use whatsapp until 31.12.17 after that it will close its service well I can change to the whatsapp10 app, I will try.
In general is it the lack of useless apps I can’t install, like too many messengers, like too many unnecessary Programms to work on pictures or other apps. Yes I know I could’ve simply just delete them on my IPhone, but hey be honest, how many of you actually do this? I always tried to delete as much as possible to minimize the trash and time-consuming ones, but it’s like hypnosis you seem to be not able to click the small x that’s shaking on the right top of the app.

I know, that in my situation I received help from my heavenly Father, who helped me to get away from the phone and the addiction. Because we can do all things through Jesus Christ!!
The BlackBerry brings me back to a normal phone usage, it’s ringing to indicate incoming calls and I (still) receive whatsapp messages for some more months. I can receive sms, mail and BBM, that’s enough.
And I’m using Twitter, trying to get more readers.. so this phone is keeping my concentration back on me – my life, my believe/faith and my family .
I thank you Lord!

And I thank you dear readers for taking your time reading my story!
Be richly blessed! Shalom

time off

I’m so sorry I haven’t shared a post in a while… I even can’t tell that I’m that busy – sure I am but not more than the other time.

It’s just that my iPhone broke and while I’m trying to get time off of all the electronic device it’s like a help for myself to just stay away from social media and my smartphone…
Still I’m not a blackberry user, although I got really attracted to the #q10 or #classic… maybe I should wait for the #keyone ? I’m not so sure yet and I know that this iPhone break might be a good reason to think and rethink about what to change and what to keep.

Last sunday my son got a challenge for saturday – the whole day – no electronic device, not even tv, no smartphone, no iPad no Laptop – nothing… back to basic – or as I like to say lately, back to normal… wednesday we had a nice camping trip with brothers and sisters from church and we tried to only use what God has given us, made fire in a fireplace and some of us slept outside. So much fun for the kids and the adults!

As I got the opportunity to write here on a laptop I took the chance to write at least one last post, before I’m off for some weeks because of a kind of vacation.

What did I receive lately from my heavenly father? To be honest – a lot! I had some nice conversations, some good and refreshing ones, some silent and thoughtful ones, some challenges while living this daily life with kids, other people on the road driving around or discussions on online platforms. And beside all that, the challenge to start working with forms and applications with the government.

Where to start? Some weeks ago my sister in Christ posted daily quotes and prayers for the week, and I really like and enjoy it! Praying for our friends, praying for our husband, praying for our parents and praying for our children. This led me to my own thinking. Thanking and praying for those God has sent to me on purpose on his plan. Thanking him and accepting his gift and his will 100%, relying on him even more than before! And I know for myself, there can never be an “I have enough of God’s Love, or his Grace or his Advice”, when I accepted Jesus, and prayed to God with all my heart the cry of “more” started to grow. Every day it’s “more of your Love”. Realizing that lately I got distracted by daily schedules even more than the other days before. It’s like I’m always putting more on top while I know I need time off and time to rest and especially time with God! Otherwise I can’t recharge – mentioning this, this is what I try to do the next 3-4 weeks. So I hope you are all patient waiting for my return.

And then for sure some new stories and life changes as well!

Planing on some new researches and plans. I will keep you informed.

Until then I bless you all my dear brothers and sisters! May God guide your ways

Discussion

Discussion

Before I followed Jesus like I do now, I honestly enjoyed talking and discussing topics, from unimportant to important topics. Sometimes I even got myself into so much temper that it would be a loud discussion, where everyone tries to implant his/her opinion into the others mind.

When I asked Jesus to be in my life 100% (not only 50% or when I need him) he started to change me in my everything through the Holy Spirit.

I became calm and quiet, before I used to babble along with every topic. Today I can listen, think about what was said and let it sit for some days. Before I was easily tempered and impulsive, today it is not easy to stay calm, but when something occur I fix my eyes on Jesus, my Lord. He helps me stay quiet.

With one close relative I was frequently talking hours about Religion, politics and life. When I turned to Jesus in life and actually live with Jesus, I stopped discussing and arguing on this loud level and keep my voice at a normal volume. He actually noticed it and sometimes it is making him losing his temper. I know it is not my relative when his temper is exploding, it is someone trying to get a chance to get me back to my old me. No chance.

For me I understood that it is not important to argue or trying to make someone understand and accept your opinion. Yes of course I can tell my point of view, my way of life, but I’m not the person to say to someone else what is right and what is wrong for him. Knowing and accepting this in life makes it so much lighter and easier. 

The other day I had a short talk on instagram via comment underneath a picture related to a biblical quote. The comment was stating that the Bible is a written book by men with a God living 2000 years ago not today – before I would have started arguing, writing long texts and explaining him why he’s wrong. Today I can simply reply to him, that if he is willing to read the Bible with his heart and mind, he will truly see that the Bible is full of life, truth and that even it’s validity back then same as today and tomorrow will remain. He shot his answer back, that he studied Christianity and its full of war, calling to fight and that Jesus invented hell. Wow, this was a GO for my old me to start the battle, while the new me, together with Jesus, could offer him Love, by writing him truth. As he studied Christianity and the Bible it is obvious that he didn’t read with his full mind and heart, as Jesus never asked anyone to start a fight, to start war or even to kill someone, even if the old law gave you the right to. Jesus didn’t invent Hell, as it is mentioned in the Torah (Old Testament) thousands of years before Jesus was born…

I can tell you, dear brothers and sisters in Christ, with our Lord Jesus, everything is possible! Me, I was irascible especially on topics about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. But with Jesus Love I’m able to give all the negativity away, I put it down at the Cross where Jesus died for me.

Thank you for reading my story! Be blessed!

cloudy again

cloudy again

Tuesday morning and it is cloudy and partly raining, same like yesterday there is not much to do, while there is always something to be done.

Tonight I woke up at around 1 and stayed awake until 3. I was walking around spiritually and was thinking about what do be done next, what is important, what is less important, how about my schedule and so on. Sure this kept me awake and then I started my talk and prayer to God. I was thinking about getting up and start writing a new blog post but then I stayed in bed, decided to focus on my Lord Jesus so my soul could find rest at this restless night.

Labor Day is over, what did this day had for me? Two wonderfully blessed conversations with two close friends of mine. One conversation was more planet and nature based while the other one was a lot more spiritual, talking about our path walking and living with God, praying, talking, reading scripture and slowly bringing God’s living word into our lifes – not only reading it theoretically, but realizing how practically it can be if we allow Jesus to controll our presence.

Yesterday I started to read Judges, a chapter a day for the month May. It is a blessed way to stay connected with brothers and sisters all over the world. I read Judges before, but it is always nice to exchange what we received while reading the chapter. I’m using the bible app (you can download it on the App Store or on the Google Store), it is wonderful you can read it yourself or listen to the chapter.

Today’s chapter talkes about the israelites turning their backs towards God and praying to other Gods and even forgetting God and what he had done for them.
It is a strong chapter, it is a reminder for all human on this earth – because while the Israelites back then had no chance to return we have! And we have this chance because God loved us more than we can imagine – he sent his only son down to earth, so that we all – no matter if Israelites or from other nations –

11 And again, “Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles;
    let all the peoples extol him.” Romans 15,11

19 Therefore, go and make people from all nations into talmidim, immersing them into the reality of the Father, the Son and the Ruach HaKodesh, Matthew 28,19

We should wake up and be aware of being Disobedience praying or worshipping other Gods. How does this look like today? Isn’t it easy to say “these Israelites built their altars for other Gods and worship them, this will not happen to me” – really? We have to start searching through all our routines, all our behavior, our thinking about people, celebrities, thinks and wishes in our life.
How often did you push Jesus from his throne in your life and put your desire for a new smartphone, a new car, an expensive ticket for this once in a year concert of any singer or similar? Try to pray to your God today, to show you your altar that was build without knowing you pushed Jesus down in your life. This is the presence altar we build in our life, even if we build it secretly in our thoughts hidden from others.

Thank you for reading and supporting me and my blog. Be blessed!

Listen to God

Listen to God

Okay, while I was trying to not think at all and taking a hot bath (usually I’m not the “bathing” but shower person) I was thinking about this blog. I started in March, so it’s my second month now. It started with the urge to write and tell others about my relation to God, but really quickly the thinking of making some money besides was really attractive.
Still I haven’t started to put affiliate links, as I’m still using the free version of wordpress (not being on any plan).
I was thinking about moving my blog to a plan, but it’s a massive amount for me to pay upfront, so I’m still not sure about when and if I should do these affiliate links at all. Sure I’m putting some links about the books, movies, series or yarn I bought, but this is still a normal url link with no benefit for me. These thoughts were really annoying at some point, as I started this idea of blog to be a true life telling testimony of mine.
It is all about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit – not about me, trying to gain some pocket money.
So back to the roots, I was talking to God, while in the bath and not so sure about if I should continue this blog or not, what to write if I do and so on. I love it, the thing is, immediately there was this clear picture in my mind and something to tell you about me again, where God showed me his living word. So, maybe you’d like to read it –

In summer 2014, I arrived back in Germany, after my 2 years journey in Australia. Happy to be here at the one hand, blue about leaving my ever-wanted-to-stay-in country Australia – but it was my choice and at this time it was necessary for myself, to get a lot of things sort out.
After the long flight, it seemed that I was in a stage of wrapped awareness. When I entered the hallway of the airport in Germany it felt strange, not as being the german citizen but this shouldn’t be it. Later on I realized why I felt this way and that it didn’t caused the german ground, it was more the knowledge that I listened to God’s Holy Spirit and was on my way of recovery.

I had to start at zero, because I quit everything and everyone when I left. It was my choice back then and I had to handle the consequences. Step by step I started to take small steps towards all the broken relationships I cut on purpose, while I had to start with myself in the first place. It was a tough journey, where I discovered my soul and my worth in God. Before I lived in Australia my life and my approval was controlled by others, by family and friends, it nearly teared me apart, while this was my own fault.
The last half year of 2014 was tough for me, as I had to learn to stop letting people control my approval rather than God’s approval. I also started reading a book by Joyce Meyer – Approval Fix
And when I opend my bible app on my smartphone God showed me, what he thinks. I had to stop looking at other people’s opinion or conviction, and I read John 4, 17+18 and was touched, because I thought this could be me nowadays.

17 “I have no husband,” she replied.
Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband.
18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

Jesus talked to this Samarian woman, which was kind of excluded because of her lifestyle and past, but Jesus didn’t judge her past or behavior, more he saw that she was telling him the truth without even trying to tell him a lie or something to let her stand in a good light.
With this Samarian woman, many other Samarian’s start to believe and follow Jesus Christ. They were lost before but because of this woman they where saved.

While I was reading her story, it touched my heart, because first I felt worthless, because I don’t have a husband, same like her, but with this christian knowledge I was feeling and thinking that I should stay all by myself because it didn’t work with partner no.1 and not with partner no.2.

God doesn’t want me to be alone, so I know that he wants me to be with the one that God chose to be with me. I don’t have to be scared or impatient or anything else, because it’s God’s perfect plan and timing! He is giving me peace and my heart and my soul is calm, waiting patiently in obedience. Knowing 100% that God’s will is the best, sweetest, greatest, more than I can image now future for me than I can ever dream of.
So, how to listen to God? Start your relationship today, read his word, because it is a living word. Start to talk to the almighty, heavenly father, seek him as he is patiently waiting for you to return back to him – he loves you more than you can imagine!

Thank you for reading my journey. May God bless you today and tomorrow!

Saturday rush

Saturday rush

Saturday, the Shabbat for Jewish and messianic Jewish. As in a post a few days ago I did some small research about the Jewish calendar and why they see Saturday as the Shabbat day, and the day where you should rest, pray to the lord only. For western Christians it’s Sunday as for our Muslim brothers and sisters it’s Friday. As a Christian I start thinking and question “why Sunday?” Without any big research I’m just writing down some thoughts I have right now. 

You can find a connection between the Jewish Shabbat on Saturday and the Christian Sunday with Church service. The Shabbat ends on Saturday, and for Jews Sunday is the beginning of the 7 day week, as the Shabbat again stands for the last day or the day on which God rest after he created the world, nature animals and Adam and Eve. As for Christians Sunday is the day where Jesus rise from the death.

„After Shabbat, as the next day was dawning, Miryam of Magdala and the other Miryam went to see the grave.“ ‭‭Mattityahu (Mat)‬ ‭28:1‬ ‭CJB‬‬

So Sunday is the first day of the week, and it’s the day we celebrate Jesus being alive!

It’s a small information for some, but maybe informative for others.

Today I read a sample The Deception of Allah I’m still reading and not sure if I like it or not. It is a book about the life, family and history of prophet Muhammed and the Islamic Allah. Still there are some other books on my list, again I’m still reading Woman of the Bible already read 34 of 53, and several biblical plans and 2-3 books still wrapped not opened yet… time is running so fast and it’s time to organize time properly not wasting precious time for nonsense…

So besides my reading plans and studies I want to start what I was planning last year, I want to start changing my electronic devises… need to change my habits and with God’s help I can handle to get a distance to my apple products. Starting with my iPhone and iPad, switching to something else. You will be informed shortly.

Thank you for reading!

May God bless you all!