Before I followed Jesus like I do now, I honestly enjoyed talking and discussing topics, from unimportant to important topics. Sometimes I even got myself into so much temper that it would be a loud discussion, where everyone tries to implant his/her opinion into the others mind.

When I asked Jesus to be in my life 100% (not only 50% or when I need him) he started to change me in my everything through the Holy Spirit.

I became calm and quiet, before I used to babble along with every topic. Today I can listen, think about what was said and let it sit for some days. Before I was easily tempered and impulsive, today it is not easy to stay calm, but when something occur I fix my eyes on Jesus, my Lord. He helps me stay quiet.

With one close relative I was frequently talking hours about Religion, politics and life. When I turned to Jesus in life and actually live with Jesus, I stopped discussing and arguing on this loud level and keep my voice at a normal volume. He actually noticed it and sometimes it is making him losing his temper. I know it is not my relative when his temper is exploding, it is someone trying to get a chance to get me back to my old me. No chance.

For me I understood that it is not important to argue or trying to make someone understand and accept your opinion. Yes of course I can tell my point of view, my way of life, but I’m not the person to say to someone else what is right and what is wrong for him. Knowing and accepting this in life makes it so much lighter and easier. 

The other day I had a short talk on instagram via comment underneath a picture related to a biblical quote. The comment was stating that the Bible is a written book by men with a God living 2000 years ago not today – before I would have started arguing, writing long texts and explaining him why he’s wrong. Today I can simply reply to him, that if he is willing to read the Bible with his heart and mind, he will truly see that the Bible is full of life, truth and that even it’s validity back then same as today and tomorrow will remain. He shot his answer back, that he studied Christianity and its full of war, calling to fight and that Jesus invented hell. Wow, this was a GO for my old me to start the battle, while the new me, together with Jesus, could offer him Love, by writing him truth. As he studied Christianity and the Bible it is obvious that he didn’t read with his full mind and heart, as Jesus never asked anyone to start a fight, to start war or even to kill someone, even if the old law gave you the right to. Jesus didn’t invent Hell, as it is mentioned in the Torah (Old Testament) thousands of years before Jesus was born…

I can tell you, dear brothers and sisters in Christ, with our Lord Jesus, everything is possible! Me, I was irascible especially on topics about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. But with Jesus Love I’m able to give all the negativity away, I put it down at the Cross where Jesus died for me.

Thank you for reading my story! Be blessed!

cloudy again

cloudy again

Tuesday morning and it is cloudy and partly raining, same like yesterday there is not much to do, while there is always something to be done.

Tonight I woke up at around 1 and stayed awake until 3. I was walking around spiritually and was thinking about what do be done next, what is important, what is less important, how about my schedule and so on. Sure this kept me awake and then I started my talk and prayer to God. I was thinking about getting up and start writing a new blog post but then I stayed in bed, decided to focus on my Lord Jesus so my soul could find rest at this restless night.

Labor Day is over, what did this day had for me? Two wonderfully blessed conversations with two close friends of mine. One conversation was more planet and nature based while the other one was a lot more spiritual, talking about our path walking and living with God, praying, talking, reading scripture and slowly bringing God’s living word into our lifes – not only reading it theoretically, but realizing how practically it can be if we allow Jesus to controll our presence.

Yesterday I started to read Judges, a chapter a day for the month May. It is a blessed way to stay connected with brothers and sisters all over the world. I read Judges before, but it is always nice to exchange what we received while reading the chapter. I’m using the bible app (you can download it on the App Store or on the Google Store), it is wonderful you can read it yourself or listen to the chapter.

Today’s chapter talkes about the israelites turning their backs towards God and praying to other Gods and even forgetting God and what he had done for them.
It is a strong chapter, it is a reminder for all human on this earth – because while the Israelites back then had no chance to return we have! And we have this chance because God loved us more than we can imagine – he sent his only son down to earth, so that we all – no matter if Israelites or from other nations –

11 And again, “Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles;
    let all the peoples extol him.” Romans 15,11

19 Therefore, go and make people from all nations into talmidim, immersing them into the reality of the Father, the Son and the Ruach HaKodesh, Matthew 28,19

We should wake up and be aware of being Disobedience praying or worshipping other Gods. How does this look like today? Isn’t it easy to say “these Israelites built their altars for other Gods and worship them, this will not happen to me” – really? We have to start searching through all our routines, all our behavior, our thinking about people, celebrities, thinks and wishes in our life.
How often did you push Jesus from his throne in your life and put your desire for a new smartphone, a new car, an expensive ticket for this once in a year concert of any singer or similar? Try to pray to your God today, to show you your altar that was build without knowing you pushed Jesus down in your life. This is the presence altar we build in our life, even if we build it secretly in our thoughts hidden from others.

Thank you for reading and supporting me and my blog. Be blessed!

Listen to God

Listen to God

Okay, while I was trying to not think at all and taking a hot bath (usually I’m not the “bathing” but shower person) I was thinking about this blog. I started in March, so it’s my second month now. It started with the urge to write and tell others about my relation to God, but really quickly the thinking of making some money besides was really attractive.
Still I haven’t started to put affiliate links, as I’m still using the free version of wordpress (not being on any plan).
I was thinking about moving my blog to a plan, but it’s a massive amount for me to pay upfront, so I’m still not sure about when and if I should do these affiliate links at all. Sure I’m putting some links about the books, movies, series or yarn I bought, but this is still a normal url link with no benefit for me. These thoughts were really annoying at some point, as I started this idea of blog to be a true life telling testimony of mine.
It is all about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit – not about me, trying to gain some pocket money.
So back to the roots, I was talking to God, while in the bath and not so sure about if I should continue this blog or not, what to write if I do and so on. I love it, the thing is, immediately there was this clear picture in my mind and something to tell you about me again, where God showed me his living word. So, maybe you’d like to read it –

In summer 2014, I arrived back in Germany, after my 2 years journey in Australia. Happy to be here at the one hand, blue about leaving my ever-wanted-to-stay-in country Australia – but it was my choice and at this time it was necessary for myself, to get a lot of things sort out.
After the long flight, it seemed that I was in a stage of wrapped awareness. When I entered the hallway of the airport in Germany it felt strange, not as being the german citizen but this shouldn’t be it. Later on I realized why I felt this way and that it didn’t caused the german ground, it was more the knowledge that I listened to God’s Holy Spirit and was on my way of recovery.

I had to start at zero, because I quit everything and everyone when I left. It was my choice back then and I had to handle the consequences. Step by step I started to take small steps towards all the broken relationships I cut on purpose, while I had to start with myself in the first place. It was a tough journey, where I discovered my soul and my worth in God. Before I lived in Australia my life and my approval was controlled by others, by family and friends, it nearly teared me apart, while this was my own fault.
The last half year of 2014 was tough for me, as I had to learn to stop letting people control my approval rather than God’s approval. I also started reading a book by Joyce Meyer – Approval Fix
And when I opend my bible app on my smartphone God showed me, what he thinks. I had to stop looking at other people’s opinion or conviction, and I read John 4, 17+18 and was touched, because I thought this could be me nowadays.

17 “I have no husband,” she replied.
Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband.
18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

Jesus talked to this Samarian woman, which was kind of excluded because of her lifestyle and past, but Jesus didn’t judge her past or behavior, more he saw that she was telling him the truth without even trying to tell him a lie or something to let her stand in a good light.
With this Samarian woman, many other Samarian’s start to believe and follow Jesus Christ. They were lost before but because of this woman they where saved.

While I was reading her story, it touched my heart, because first I felt worthless, because I don’t have a husband, same like her, but with this christian knowledge I was feeling and thinking that I should stay all by myself because it didn’t work with partner no.1 and not with partner no.2.

God doesn’t want me to be alone, so I know that he wants me to be with the one that God chose to be with me. I don’t have to be scared or impatient or anything else, because it’s God’s perfect plan and timing! He is giving me peace and my heart and my soul is calm, waiting patiently in obedience. Knowing 100% that God’s will is the best, sweetest, greatest, more than I can image now future for me than I can ever dream of.
So, how to listen to God? Start your relationship today, read his word, because it is a living word. Start to talk to the almighty, heavenly father, seek him as he is patiently waiting for you to return back to him – he loves you more than you can imagine!

Thank you for reading my journey. May God bless you today and tomorrow!

Saturday rush

Saturday rush

Saturday, the Shabbat for Jewish and messianic Jewish. As in a post a few days ago I did some small research about the Jewish calendar and why they see Saturday as the Shabbat day, and the day where you should rest, pray to the lord only. For western Christians it’s Sunday as for our Muslim brothers and sisters it’s Friday. As a Christian I start thinking and question “why Sunday?” Without any big research I’m just writing down some thoughts I have right now. 

You can find a connection between the Jewish Shabbat on Saturday and the Christian Sunday with Church service. The Shabbat ends on Saturday, and for Jews Sunday is the beginning of the 7 day week, as the Shabbat again stands for the last day or the day on which God rest after he created the world, nature animals and Adam and Eve. As for Christians Sunday is the day where Jesus rise from the death.

„After Shabbat, as the next day was dawning, Miryam of Magdala and the other Miryam went to see the grave.“ ‭‭Mattityahu (Mat)‬ ‭28:1‬ ‭CJB‬‬

So Sunday is the first day of the week, and it’s the day we celebrate Jesus being alive!

It’s a small information for some, but maybe informative for others.

Today I read a sample The Deception of Allah I’m still reading and not sure if I like it or not. It is a book about the life, family and history of prophet Muhammed and the Islamic Allah. Still there are some other books on my list, again I’m still reading Woman of the Bible already read 34 of 53, and several biblical plans and 2-3 books still wrapped not opened yet… time is running so fast and it’s time to organize time properly not wasting precious time for nonsense…

So besides my reading plans and studies I want to start what I was planning last year, I want to start changing my electronic devises… need to change my habits and with God’s help I can handle to get a distance to my apple products. Starting with my iPhone and iPad, switching to something else. You will be informed shortly.

Thank you for reading!

May God bless you all!

God is guiding

God is guiding

I hope you all had a blessed Easter Holiday with your family and friends.
These past few days I had some time to think and plan my life, my future and my present, in daily talk with my heavenly father I’m more confident and I can just give Jesus my worries and sorrow. Different aspects from job directions, different opportunities about living arrangements and some other small life challenges.

This was the first part I started to write 3 days ago. This time I was really challenging myself about writing something that is actually working inside me. It is important for me to have plans, as it is for many of us, maybe all of us. There might be some really living just today, not worrying at all. 

I can’t – well not yet. I’m on my way with God’s guidance to have more and more faith, letting go of control of everything I have, everything I am and especially everything I want. This is the most important part the things or situations I want. And I remember one quote “less me, more you Jesus!”

Back to my past few days, what happened? Daily schedule again, the days rushes by to fast, Easter just hopped away and well here we are Friday, nearly midnight and finally I’m writing this new blogpost using my iPhone to type in everything coming to my mind. I changed thinking, when I started this blog last month, I tried to tell myself that it’s a blog for sharing Gods love, Gods word and the Grace I received and that I want to share. But quickly it changed to stress, how to use social media for more traffic and then using this blog for making some money besides… sure this one is still on hand, but I learned something really important for me now, my heart knows that it can’t and shouldn’t run behind the money, biblical it’s already written down, we need to work for a living, but as I said in the beginning of my blog I want to write because I want to share my life with God with you guys, I should focus on that. Nothing else! And this is what I am doing now.

I started to fast before Easter and kept it until Good Friday, I prayed then I prepared the last supper and thanked God for giving me Jesus, I thanked Jesus for taking my sin to become a daughter of the highest. The next days were blessed (as is every day in my life with Jesus) I spent a lot time outside with the family, laughter and happiness, feeling the love Jesus gave us… when I glanced into the sky, catching some beautiful pictures, the different sunlight shapes and the whole miracle God creates for me – for us every day. This actual view keeps me in a mood, it’s similar to a spiritual trance, it calms my soul and touches my heart, same but at the same hand different as walking and breathing in the fresh air while walking in a nearby forest.

Have you ever tried to search God in everything you do and are? I started it, not everything for once, this is causing headache because we are not used to it, but I mean start somewhere you feel comfortable with. Back in my past I used to fall into deep thoughts about my life, what I’ve done, which steps I took, which ways I went etc. and I started to fall into a small kind of depression and put myself into dreams of how things could have been if I would have done things differently… this took some months until I grabbed Jesus Hand and listened to the Holy Spirit. Because falling into these dreams just keeps you away from the present love God is offering you right now. Everything I went through, everyone I’ve ever met, every talk I ever talked or listened to, was an important step for me towards my Heavenly Father… everything you had and have in life, all situations you are going through are not useless, always remember that you are never alone. 

I learned, that because of my free will I walked paths and streets that caused me numberless pain, but I know for sure, that there was not one minute that my Heavenly Father was away from me, he never left me alone, whether in Germany, the USA or Australia. And he will stay forever as his word is the truth.

Everyday I receive and realize more about this truth, Jesus came and died for me, how precious are we, that he had done this? Why are we so important to God? I can only answer for myself and this answer is to follow Jesus, to grab his hand and confess “Jesus you are the truth and the way to our Heavenly Father! No one comes to the father except trough you!! (John 14:6) 

He is waiting for you to grab his hand too ❤️

My journey hasn’t finish yet, I’m still in the middle or even at the beginning but I will continue writing and telling you what is happening in my life with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit! It is special every day!!

Blessings to all of you my dear brothers and sisters all over the world!

Am I too distracted?

Am I too distracted?

How to measure the level of distraction or the portion of busyness? Honestly I can’t tell you that – because it is a personal level. For me I just found out. The last weeks I was just thinking and filling my head with ideas, plans and wishes, i was filling my schedule and the kids schedule to the last free spot for a good feeling, the feeling to use each minute of the day for anything. Sleep becomes rare, or at least sleep became restless, as I woke up even more tired in the morning. Coffee was my best friend but couldn’t carry me through the day without yawning throughout the day. 

Today I took the time for at least one hour off, I grabbed my kindle paperwhite and started reading one of my books I started reading months ago. And I tried to stand the other electronic distractions but couldn’t, because every now and then there was a new WhatsApp message, as soon as I unlocked the iPhone I continued to check Facebook after reading and answering WhatsApp. Last year I already told myself (and some friends) that I really need to work on reducing this social media and electronic devices. Ha, it’s an easy way to say, but a hard way to go – well for me. I know it’s not for everyone I mean, some are fine using the internet, smartphone and social media at just one time a day, not for me, my kids are showing that it’s way too much and I really feel ashamed! So today there is my new plan “less iPhone, less social media, less distraction” and more of God, Jesus, Holy Spirit and my family!!!

© antoinegeiger.com

I found this picture on Pinterest and well it makes visible what invisibly is happening with us using smartphones etc. 

How to change it?

„“Come to me all of you who are tired from the heavy burden you have been forced to carry. I will give you rest. Accept my teaching. Learn from me. I am gentle and humble in spirit. And you will be able to get some rest. Yes, the teaching that I ask you to accept is easy. The load I give you to carry is light.”“

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11:28-30‬ ‭ERV‬‬

Right now I start to understand, that out of my strength I can’t change anything, especially not my stressful, over-busy-lifestyle…. I need to ask for help. Only God can help me through is son Jesus to be finally able to rest. 

To stop reacting scared or aggressive as soon as I spot these or similar signs for being unreachable or not fast enough on the mobile internet I have to find ways to get out of this thinking (with the helping Hand of God). Two days ago I started looking for an old Mobil phone – yes, exactly, not a smartphone a normal 1999er Mobil Phone, to switch off the distraction permanently. But this would be no solution for the long run. I had a Facebook break for over 2 years already and it was a relief – definetly, but not the answer to my quest. I need to get a healthy handling and timing for this time consuming things like Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, WhatsApp, so I can breathe in life and live life actually in real not online via iPhone. While thinking about this part “breathe” I’m listening to Jonny Diaz song Breathe .

Breathe – Jonny Díaz

So I need a plan, a structured one and a God-led one! Because otherwise I’m not able to succeed. So my planning is now 

  • Praying and asking God to lead me his way for a good and healthy time table to use the social media
  • Write down some schedule into my new Bullet Journal and check several days which one works out best
  • Stick to the perfect plan 
  • Last but not least I’m planning to leave off all distractions in June as I’m on special family leave for 3 weeks!

© Bullet Journal

C is my favorite, but I need practice and God’s help, definetly!

I know that with God watching over me, with Jesus by my side and with the leading of his Holy Spirit I will finally find rest! I’m so happy about it and looking forward to this! 

© Sarah

Thank you for taking time to read my story! God bless you ❤

Busy week

Busy week

I was wondering about my new life as a blogger what to write about and how often I should write and so on. My last post was about my spring cleaning, and yes I did start on Monday 20, as I wrote it and it is pretty challenging still. I did this organizing chore and got 3 boxes of kids clothes and 1 of mine (and some shoes). I will donate those this upcoming week and will continue with my 2 bathrooms and after these I will check my living-/dining room… so it is still on going, I will upload process pictures on the original Spring Clean Post.

So this week starts fresh on a Monday where I de-cluttered the closets, meetings, appointments and Stress was moving in, my head was filled because of the calendar full of appointment, meeting and schedule itself. Many thoughts came too, while I was sitting in this café with my daughter and the other moms, I tried to connect to the topics they were talking about, while I was breastfeeding my little one. Thoughts about “enough breastfeeding?”,”time to stop it completely?”,”do I want to stop, or is it the world who wants me to stop?”…. you see these 3 questions just going around me and others… where is God? Embarrasst I was after realizing this! “Me, me, me…” and this particular song is inside my head Breathe Jonny Diaz I was listening to on the other day via my iPhone app K-LOVE.

So reminder to myself – before starting to think about things I really can’t answer myself, I should start asking the one who knows best – God! This I did, and now I’m doing pretty fine and so does my little one, because we started smoothly with less breastfeeding but not completely ending our precious cuddling time together! Thank you Lord – Your way is always the best!!

We spend the day at a small zoo, where the kids could pet the sheep, donkey and cows. This was such a happy afternoon, the kids were happy – and this made me happy as well.

Tuesday I had to pick up a family at the airport, 1 week vacation, I’m happy for them, they needed it as a small family and hard working parents they needed a break and some rest at a nice beach and hotel. Immediately my heart (?) and/or soul is longs for something similar herself, just taking the kids, some bags and 1 week off(line)….

Again, me, me, me…. where is God? I need to focuse on my point of view! 

On Tuesday night it was the first time I had someone babysit my kids. It was my dear sister in Christ, who is a mother of 3 herself, and so lovely she offered to watch my 2 while I should meet the other women in church. It was women meeting with hill song and encouraging talking with my lovely sisters. It was blessed, I was breathing in the blessings and holding my breath so I could keep it inside. These couple of hours helped me to settle again, gave my restless soul peace and directed my heart to lift up view to my Heavenly Father. Recharged and full of Gods promises I returned back home realizing that time with God is not connected to free time realized through my dear sister, I can and will put God in my daily rountine first place! Things I need to start doing will include limiting time and use of time-consuming devices and services that keep me from God, from praying and from my family, one of this device and service is my main and biggest issue – my smartphone… I guess I will start a new post about this journey, but months ago I already started thinking about how to limit the time I’m spending scrolling down instagram, Pinterest, twitter, Facebook, WhatsApp and the list continues… too many hours lost watching this screen, time that cannot be returned…

Wednesday was schedule for the first half, kids group first with crafting and playing, after this we went to the drummers class for my son and finally a day out, walking in the forest, breathing in the fresh air, listening to the sound of nature, birds, trees, wind… calming down the soul, letting your mind restart, and you simply feel Gods presence in everything he creates.

Thursday started without any stress, I put my son on holiday mood, because we would be cancelling all our schedule plans and simply drive to see my sister. They are living more rual, again less stress, less cars, less noise – lovely!! And indeed it was a good day, the kids were happy so was I.

Friday schedule stayed the same, while something was coming up. Since then we stayed at home, as we caught stomach ache and just unwell feeling… but that’s also something good, as I got some time to rethink and organize my thoughts about my life, my family, my blog and my future – with God! Always remember God first! 

Thank you for reading my thoughts. Be blessed dear brothers and sisters in Christ! Shalom!