Family and Relative Issues

Family and Relative Issues

Today seems to be a day outside, that’s nice too, because in late september the weather here in Germany is really nice. The temperature is around 21 degree (70 F) so we’ve spent our time outside, we walked to different playgrounds and took the dog of course.

While being outside I was already thinking about a next and new blog entry, something that’s on my mind for some time now.
As a big sister of 3, having countless cousins, aunts and uncles on this earth, stress, discussion and similar conversations are preprogrammed, before I walked with Jesus, close to him there was this thinking inside me, that wasn’t christian thinking at all.
Judging thoughts, bad thoughts and well simply not those Jesus has about me, and isn’t it I want to become more like him every day?
When someone did something bad, wrong or not nice, immediately there is judgement in my family. I guess it’s something common and I wouldn’t tell that there is a family without such situations. What I found out for myself is, to simply slow down in joining discussions and situations like this. It’s not the best to join in the first discussion only to be one of them talking about another.
I have one example, it’s already years ago but one of my relatives started to tell my family some rumours about another relative. The interesting part is, I kept quiet until they nearly finished their story tale and I started to interrupt, because I was actually in contact with this “talked about relative” and could most likely refute the tall tales.
Sadly this tall tale was already spread through the family world-wide (my family lives nearly everywhere, America, Australia and Indonesia) so it was an unfortunate story and situation. At this time I was really disappointed in my big indonesian Family, because it seemed that rumors are more likely than truth, or the wish for truth. Because truth and light is not as attractive as lies and rumors.

When I contacted my relative about this story and informed her about where it was spread already, the person told me, knowing about this fact and this state of family relationship. It’s sad, but how to stop if your father has 10 siblings – each of them several children and well every one of them their own life (more or less) and own problems, but seemed to be discussed from far away by their so wise relatives?
Also it’s a different cultural story, being asian means to stay under the talk of the elders more or less.. it’s a lot about respect, about reputation, gossip around the village and for a woman unless you are married you have to stick around your parents… I know it’s not only asian culture but I can talk about them now only, because I’m half indonesian.
For me it is a different story again, because I’m half indonesian and half german. I was born and raised here in germany, so I’m more german inside and my mind is more free than my families (I don’t want to put someone into a box or determine someone on this, it’s just the situation with my relatives and me)
When I talked to my relative, she told me, that it’s more easy for a woman to live freely in Germany, than in Indonesia. Sure you go working no matter if men or women, but as a single woman without husband yet it is not easy. Depending on the cultural background it can be really tough for a woman.
At this time it was a task for me to think myself into her position and try to understand their thinking… nevertheless, I was not okay with the gossip, because it came all the way to germany and as a child of the light and a follower of Jesus I cannot allow the lie to continue and be spread out more and more.
Walking with Jesus meant to stop the lie, but also not to judge the ones telling it (with or without intention). For me I understand that it’s important and a learning process to understand how God sees us as his children. We are all doing mistakes, because we are not flawless, we have different problems, different failings and as a child of God it is made easy, we can bring everything of it to him, telling him that we need him to correct us like a father should do.
So God doesn’t judge me for being wrong the time in my past, he opened his arms welcoming me, showing me how to act the next time, showing me how he react. So that I can see through his eyes and understand at least a tiny bit of his never-ending love.

And now? Today I can see the difference between me and my relatives, I’m still on my way so are they, and I try to tell them what I got teached, and today I can tell everyone with love and with Jesus by my side, what is bigger than any circumstance here on earth, without judging and condemn.

So what leads us to the attraction of gossiping about others? Years ago I talked about this topic with one relative already and found out earth-related reasons – boredom.
How do rumors arise? Can I tell you something, for me it seems, that if a situation is not that exciting at all there should be add some other things and information to top the whole story – no matter if true or well, lets say far-fetched.
So it’s to make a situation more interesting? Well not only to let the situation be more interesting, but to let the storyteller look like he is more informed than others.
But why should someone want to do so? – Egoism, narcissism, vainglory, envy,… the list will continue but my main focus is – this is not from God. God is not egoism, narcissism, etc. God is love, he is forgiveness, he is selfless and he looks to the other to be comforted in love.
So, if it’s not from God, where is it from? When we open our Bible (I like to do my research in the Bible App – on iOs or Android or on the internet), we find out that the one who first raised egoism to stand above the creator is the one who fell down from the heavens to the earth, the snake who deceived man in paradise was and is jealousy.
I realized, that every time I feel feelings like anger, jealousy, envy etc. it’s not my heavenly fathers feelings, it’s the enemies feelings. He tries to contaminate human on earth to be far away from the father and to keep them occupied.

So what does it mean to me? For me it’s clear, I’m trying to bring them the light, I try to tell them more about my brother Jesus. I do this with talk and the most powerful way in prayer. Be a blessing, so you will be blessed!

With this I thank you for reading my story! Be richly blessed!


Getting organized

My dear readers, I have to apologize, I was offline more or less, but especially not in the right condition to write a new blog post. I’m so happy I am away from iPhone and using BlackBerry, occasionally reading that in December this year #whatsapp will no longer be available, but they can explain how and especially what device you need to still use #whatsapp. Well, if you won’t support my BlackBerry then, that’s it. I will say Goodbye to Whatsapp then…

Back to the blog, I’ve been thinking about posting a new entry every second day lately, but still couldn’t start. This distracting phase is back again, after the moving part, then the paper works and the applications, finally I started to crochet again, to read my books, to watch some series while having a glass of good red wine or a cold mixed beer.
The last 2 months I’ve started watching a lot series #TheFlash first, then when I’ve reached the last episode of the season I was thinking about which series would be next and I ended up watching #LegendsOfTomorrow also until I reached the last episode of the season. So now it’s my free time of series (I tried old ones of #NewGirl, #TheBigBangTheorie and #HowIMetYourMother but it’s still too present, so it’s a bit boring)

I’m still reading my christian book #Woman in the book of books, and #ExceedinglyGrowingFaith by Kenneth E. Hagin. When I was in High School and even in University, I was reading these books in less than a day, right now I’m reading and stopping, reading and well, reading the Woman book is taking me now the second year. I started on January 2015 and am still reading every now and then.

Have you ever felt restless? Having so much on mind, everything you need to do and then end up counting up maybe 2 or 3 things you finished a day… I’m usually lying in my bed thinking about the day and about the day after this one. I start walking around the unit in my thoughts and funnily in my imaginary the declutter plan works so well, while in reality I just can’t start. (anymore ^.^ I started before the big moving, and am still working on declutter every now and then)
It’s like a circle, I’m working on every single room a week… I don’t know, why even after I threw out so many bags, and donated so much things, clothes and toys, there is still so much left… it’s like there is a spot where everything hides and comes out after I tried to make space. I also try to not even bring in too much stuff, so I don’t need to declutter in the second step… still it’s a game and right now it seems I’m not winning.. it seems – but I won’t give up, and with God’s strength I will finish my #declutter plan by the end of this year!!

Yesterday I started my #Bulletjournal Life. Small steps but well I started. I took a good look at my new calendar for 2018 and wrote down some essentials. Then I started writing some notes and information’s into my recent calendar and put post-its πŸ™‚ in it.

Now I will start concentrating on writing this blog here, need to figure out what to write about again and then I will start and hope you’ll all like what you read.

Until then, I’m happy and thankful for all your patience and that you took your precious time reading my story!

Be blessed dear friends!

Stay cool

It is summer and the temperature rises high, the humidity is high as well, this indicates a potential lightning/thunder/raining combination. We will see, or at least maybe hear it later.

It is midnight here and I was thinking, whether to write one short quick post or rush into bed and try to get some hours of sleep. So you see I’m writing and enjoying and testing the blackberry keyboard. I have to admit that it is very comfy for someone who is typing a lot and who simply missed the real keyboard.
When I bought it 17 days ago some of my closest told me, that I wouldn’t stick to it a week.. because they know me well, and yes back then it was really difficult for me to change after being with apple for, we’ll let’s see and count, 8 years now. I started with the 3rd Generation the iPhone 3GS, and quickly I bought a new phone every year.. sure it’s nice, it’s optic and all the software inside is attracting and magically holding all its users. For me, at some point it was enough..
6 years ago I already tried to change and get away from iPhone but the PalmPre I was using and hoping to cope with the market wasn’t able to meet my preferences and needs. Then back in 2014 I tried Samsung, because this was and is the other big smartphone provider you can find. I had the new Samsung with a new mobile contract but was unhappy after a few days too.. so I sold this one as well and bought an iPhone until this one I was using latest the iPhone 6.
Yes of course, it is a good phone, it is more than a phone, it includes calls, messaging, mail, Internet, calendar, alarm, so many countless apps a few you really need and heaps of unnecessary stuff just to waste time – and this was and is the BIG point in my decision to leave apple, Samsung and all the others with heaps of apps no one really needs, but thinks they need to have because otherwise you’re out of everything and out of the world..
We all know that for some people the smartphone (no matter which company) is an addiction – well, I can tell what happened with me. Yes I was addicted to my phone, I was happy and so lucky to have this smart, super fast and stylish looking iPhone I was holding it the whole day, never leaving it around.
Sometimes I wanted to check the time – because I don’t have a watch anymore, but when unlocking the iPhone I was sliding through my screens, checking if there where any messages, or something interesting to see on IG, or Pinterest, or Twitter, or Facebook, or G+, or BBM, or Threema, or Whatsapp, or some more.. then I told myself to stop, because it’s too much again and while pushing the screen-lock-button I often realized that I didn’t even took a look on the time!! Arg, so I had to do the same thing again, but this time with high concentration to really just take a look at the time…

At one point I realized that the fact, that I was holding the iPhone and was waiting or typing a message made me aggressive or stressed and this affected my whole body and even worst my family!!
My son told me several times, that I’m at the iPhone way too often – and guess what? He was right!! I was! And this fact was a shock. Still not as easy as it should be, I tried to set myself a schedule about when to use and when to check the phone or some apps, but honestly, for me in my case I needed something more effective.
And this was the last day in June. Yes it was a good, a real good day, because while being on the way with my kids the iPhone hit the ground of the last train when we nearly arrived at our destination Bavaria. I was in shock and angry about myself because I was the one who dropped it!
At the end of the day I could arrange to use it for 2 calls, my parents and my sister in Christ, to tell them that we arrived safely and that my phone is total broken. Did you ever experienced, that your iPhone screen is so hard damaged that everytime you unlock it the screen things you touch it while you are not and then it starts to open apps, delete messages or notes and starts to write funny sms or whatsapp. Well at that point I locked it immediately but then it happened to block me completely, so I wasn’t able to unlock it with my numeric code, because the screen was half blind.. untouchable πŸ˜€

Can I tell you something? I had the best 3 weeks, that I truly enjoyed with rich conversations with other families, with my children and simply taking real pictures with my God given eyes! I can tell you, the time I spent with my kids was pure and a lot relaxed, because I wasn’t checking my phone every 10 min (at least). I was released, I was free, I was me – without the phone.
Sure something else was showing me, how addicted or lost we are if the phone where everything is written down and saved is is.
In my situation I wasn’t able to contact anyone by land line except my parents, no other numbers in mind. I was trying to remember birthday dates – but anyway wasn’t able to send greetings, or callings. I wasn’t able to remember the address of some friends to send postcards and well you can image the list continues.
So what did I thought of, when I was in this situation? First thing to do when you got home – buy an address book made out of paper – check, I did.
I haven’t start with the next point, the more important one, write down all addresses and phone numbers.

So what is different using the blackberry classic now instead of using either IPhone or Samsung?
On blackberry I receive the message, that I can use whatsapp until 31.12.17 after that it will close its service well I can change to the whatsapp10 app, I will try.
In general is it the lack of useless apps I can’t install, like too many messengers, like too many unnecessary Programms to work on pictures or other apps. Yes I know I could’ve simply just delete them on my IPhone, but hey be honest, how many of you actually do this? I always tried to delete as much as possible to minimize the trash and time-consuming ones, but it’s like hypnosis you seem to be not able to click the small x that’s shaking on the right top of the app.

I know, that in my situation I received help from my heavenly Father, who helped me to get away from the phone and the addiction. Because we can do all things through Jesus Christ!!
The BlackBerry brings me back to a normal phone usage, it’s ringing to indicate incoming calls and I (still) receive whatsapp messages for some more months. I can receive sms, mail and BBM, that’s enough.
And I’m using Twitter, trying to get more readers.. so this phone is keeping my concentration back on me – my life, my believe/faith and my family .
I thank you Lord!

And I thank you dear readers for taking your time reading my story!
Be richly blessed! Shalom

Shabbat Shalom

Shalom to all my readers!
What does “Shalom” mean? It is a jewish greeting and saying for goodbye but including your good wish of God’s Blessing for this person you are greeting or telling Goodbye.
For me Shalom means Love Greetings, it is not only Hello, or Goobye it is “Hello my dear brother or/and sister” it is “Be blessed brother/sister” and it is “God’s blessing to you dear brother and sister” in one word.

The Shabbat is the one day of the week, where Jews praise Elohim Adonai and lay down all the work and just give this day for him.
It starts at Friday night when the sun gets down and ends on Saturday night when the sun gets down. So the day starts at night for Jews, it did for Jesus.. several weeks ago I asked myself why we changed it.. the western time or day starts at midnight, then we say it’s a new day.. but we could’ve leave it the Jews way.. to get back is not as easy as it may seem.. I need to change my complete thinking.. but alright, seems like a new challenge πŸ™‚

Today we had a special day with our kids and church, to spend time together as a family of God, with Jesus Christ our brother in the middle of our festival. We had good conversations, nice games for young and adult and the food was so delicious. The weather was like an order, the sun was shining the whole day and yes I’m a bit tanned as well.. like I’ve been on a beach trip.
I enjoy my time with my family in Christ and really feel His presence. Recalling all what has happened the week before and just thanking the Lord for always standing in front of me, securing that nothing will hurt or harm me or my kids. I thank him so much, for his unconditional Love!!
The next week will be a tough one with a real strict schedule, but after this week I hope I can start to relax a bit.. who knows..

Last week I started thinking about some new Job opportunities, maybe I will walk a complete different way, I don’t know yet.. maybe I start working at schools, or at the army.. maybe something complete different..

As always, I will keep you informed..
Be richly blessed by the Lord – Shalom

How the weather changes us (the result of our behavior)

I’ve been waiting for today for some weeks now. I had my appointment at my favorite hairdresser changed three times, to this date – today. I was looking forward, sitting at the hairdresser’s chair, chit-chat with him about past and present, while enjoying this special treat just for me. Last time I went to my hairdresser was March 2016 – so more than a year ago!

My hair had grown a bit already and it wasn’t bad or not pretty but I was looking for something else, fresh, maybe with new color.. I saw my favorite series “Baby Daddy” with #ChelseaKane and I really like her hairstyle, so I send a picture of her haircut to my hairstylist and added my wish of trying out some colors as well..
Today the sun was shining a lot and gave us around 32 degree – so real summer feeling yay!

After cutting and coloring I was done (3 hours later), but somehow my color doesn’t shine through as I wanted and as my hairdresser intended..

All in all its a good nice haircut, but maybe I will stay patient and will keep growing it.. enough haircuts and experiments?.. I will see what will happen the next month’s.. in any way I got my tichel to cover up my head and hair, and where I can experiment with nice scarves.

Going back to my main Topic, about nature and human behavior. Yesterday I had my experience shared with you already and today? What was happening, I was driving the car with my children. The youngest was sleeping and not witnessing the scene that was happening on the highway. After a construction area where the speed limit is 80km/h they had the unlimited speed area with 3 lines. I was going 100km/h on the middle line, overtaking all the trucks but still taking care of the road while it started raining like waterfalls, when I saw this black car speeding behind me, showing his lights in a real aggressive way – still I didn’t thought of anything bad, I was thinking that maybe the driver wants to make me aware about a light or something else my car is having problems with. Still going 100km/h on the middle lane to overtake the trucks on my right side the black car slipped right when there was a gasp and tried to overtake me from the right side (this is not allowed in Germany) and this time I finally saw that this man was mad about me, driving too slow – for him. By any situation he was really angry and upset with me, that I was not driving as he wished I should. Just a little reminder, he simply could have overtake me from my left side, where cars should or are supposed to overtake those cars going 100km/h – but he didn’t, until then he was so mad at me because of nothing, he overtook me then just to place his car in front of mine to go on his breaks for letting me nearly crush his car!
He made me feel so many feelings at the same time, anger, fear, boiling blood and sadness.. why sadness? Because later I could feel sadness for him, because I saw that the devil was torturing him, that he was rushing like the Devils are behind him and I was stopping him to get by, while he didn’t saw his possibilities (on my left side).. I felt weak, because what to do or how to talk to someone while driving 100km/h and more? You can’t hear a word you just see expressions and gestures…
And of course I felt my boiling and rushing blood, this feeling because someone just thinking about himself, not taking care or a thought about others, he saw my kids!! And with this in mind I was really exploding, not understanding what is going on in his head?
My whole body was shaking when I tried to control my car while pushing the breaks so I won’t hit his car while he was pushing his break hard at 100km/h.
When he finally left the scene and headed out the highway he just showed me the “sign of the horns” or “Mano Cornuta”.
As some scene’s of Rock or Metal Music are showing, I realized what it actually meant. Who was actually trying to break me, to make me fear.
The devil will not win or fear me, because I have Jesus! And Jesus already won when the devil tested and tried to trick Jesus, but Jesus is Lord and the devil has to flee!!

This situation showed me, that it is important to know Jesus, to know who is the father, the son and the holy spirit, because truth will win always.
This horrible scenario today showed me what I have to teach my children, what role I have to show them and what important words to speak!
My son was in shock and asked “why this man wants to kill us?” then even he saw his hand gesture.

The world is changing, it was years ago and it is and will in the future, but we all need to be aware and awake to see and choose between light and darkness. And darkness hates light!

I thank God with all my heart, that he had and has his protective hand above me and my family, that I will not receive any harm! I take Jesus Hand every day, and invite his Holy Spirit to guide and lead my way and steps every day!!

Dear brothers and sisters, thank you for taking your time, reading my story!
Be blessed! Shalom



Before I followed Jesus like I do now, I honestly enjoyed talking and discussing topics, from unimportant to important topics. Sometimes I even got myself into so much temper that it would be a loud discussion, where everyone tries to implant his/her opinion into the others mind.

When I asked Jesus to be in my life 100% (not only 50% or when I need him) he started to change me in my everything through the Holy Spirit.

I became calm and quiet, before I used to babble along with every topic. Today I can listen, think about what was said and let it sit for some days. Before I was easily tempered and impulsive, today it is not easy to stay calm, but when something occur I fix my eyes on Jesus, my Lord. He helps me stay quiet.

With one close relative I was frequently talking hours about Religion, politics and life. When I turned to Jesus in life and actually live with Jesus, I stopped discussing and arguing on this loud level and keep my voice at a normal volume. He actually noticed it and sometimes it is making him losing his temper. I know it is not my relative when his temper is exploding, it is someone trying to get a chance to get me back to my old me. No chance.

For me I understood that it is not important to argue or trying to make someone understand and accept your opinion. Yes of course I can tell my point of view, my way of life, but I’m not the person to say to someone else what is right and what is wrong for him. Knowing and accepting this in life makes it so much lighter and easier. 

The other day I had a short talk on instagram via comment underneath a picture related to a biblical quote. The comment was stating that the Bible is a written book by men with a God living 2000 years ago not today – before I would have started arguing, writing long texts and explaining him why he’s wrong. Today I can simply reply to him, that if he is willing to read the Bible with his heart and mind, he will truly see that the Bible is full of life, truth and that even it’s validity back then same as today and tomorrow will remain. He shot his answer back, that he studied Christianity and its full of war, calling to fight and that Jesus invented hell. Wow, this was a GO for my old me to start the battle, while the new me, together with Jesus, could offer him Love, by writing him truth. As he studied Christianity and the Bible it is obvious that he didn’t read with his full mind and heart, as Jesus never asked anyone to start a fight, to start war or even to kill someone, even if the old law gave you the right to. Jesus didn’t invent Hell, as it is mentioned in the Torah (Old Testament) thousands of years before Jesus was born…

I can tell you, dear brothers and sisters in Christ, with our Lord Jesus, everything is possible! Me, I was irascible especially on topics about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. But with Jesus Love I’m able to give all the negativity away, I put it down at the Cross where Jesus died for me.

Thank you for reading my story! Be blessed!

cloudy again

cloudy again

Tuesday morning and it is cloudy and partly raining, same like yesterday there is not much to do, while there is always something to be done.

Tonight I woke up at around 1 and stayed awake until 3. I was walking around spiritually and was thinking about what do be done next, what is important, what is less important, how about my schedule and so on. Sure this kept me awake and then I started my talk and prayer to God. I was thinking about getting up and start writing a new blog post but then I stayed in bed, decided to focus on my Lord Jesus so my soul could find rest at this restless night.

Labor Day is over, what did this day had for me? Two wonderfully blessed conversations with two close friends of mine. One conversation was more planet and nature based while the other one was a lot more spiritual, talking about our path walking and living with God, praying, talking, reading scripture and slowly bringing God’s living word into our lifes – not only reading it theoretically, but realizing how practically it can be if we allow Jesus to controll our presence.

Yesterday I started to read Judges, a chapter a day for the month May. It is a blessed way to stay connected with brothers and sisters all over the world. I read Judges before, but it is always nice to exchange what we received while reading the chapter. I’m using the bible app (you can download it on the App Store or on the Google Store), it is wonderful you can read it yourself or listen to the chapter.

Today’s chapter talkes about the israelites turning their backs towards God and praying to other Gods and even forgetting God and what he had done for them.
It is a strong chapter, it is a reminder for all human on this earth – because while the Israelites back then had no chance to return we have! And we have this chance because God loved us more than we can imagine – he sent his only son down to earth, so that we all – no matter if Israelites or from other nations –

11 And again, β€œPraise the Lord, all you Gentiles;
    let all the peoples extol him.” Romans 15,11

19 Therefore, go and make people from all nations into talmidim, immersing them into the reality of the Father, the Son and the Ruach HaKodesh, Matthew 28,19

We should wake up and be aware of being Disobedience praying or worshipping other Gods. How does this look like today? Isn’t it easy to say “these Israelites built their altars for other Gods and worship them, this will not happen to me” – really? We have to start searching through all our routines, all our behavior, our thinking about people, celebrities, thinks and wishes in our life.
How often did you push Jesus from his throne in your life and put your desire for a new smartphone, a new car, an expensive ticket for this once in a year concert of any singer or similar? Try to pray to your God today, to show you your altar that was build without knowing you pushed Jesus down in your life. This is the presence altar we build in our life, even if we build it secretly in our thoughts hidden from others.

Thank you for reading and supporting me and my blog. Be blessed!