Living with less

Some weeks ago my sister in Christ showed me a documentary about American Amish, because I was and am thinking about a Christian modest and simple lifestyle.
While I was watching the 6 series on Youtube I was talking to God, reading his Bible and thinking about how to start changing my own life and lifestyle.

Last year I already started to declutter and to think about what to sort out for good, I did every room after another, and it is a circle returning after months. So, I started with the kids room, the bedroom – all the closets and then the livingroom and kitchen, when I returned doing everything all over again, when my family and I moved last year, and still there is so much stuff – I told my sister it’s like a black hole and we are not getting less it seems that we keep all the stuff while I’m throwing more things out.
So what is it again that’s too much? When I take a look at my kids rooms I find too many toys and games (even I sorted out more than the half of it) and again I’m decluttering their rooms.

Last time I donated a lot of kitchen stuff like plates, cutlery, bowls and cups.
And still it seems like I have no room for my left over plates and pans, I try to minimize everything to a minimal point, just enough for the family.
So what got my attention while watching the documentary?
There were several points, starting with finding my position and purpose as a mother and housewife, how to find a new point of view of my life, my person and my position at home. In my past, especially during school and study time I was thinking I’m independent and have to be well educated and on the same position as men; I don’t say education is bad or there is no need in education for girls/women – in fact I still think it is good and necessary to give both, men and women the chance and availability to study.
I’m just talking about my own story and history – as I’m grown up in a family with 2 sisters and my parents wished that we should all finish our High School graduation – so we did, and I enrolled university to study, while to be honest I didn’t know what to study. I took a course called “Asian science” and started learning to speak the Malaysian/indonesian language and some history, cultural and religious information.
After 2 years study I finally stopped and started my training at a big firm as an office clerk, and worked there for about 3 years.

Looking back at these times I can tell it was good, maybe also necessary, but also a journey of my own, searching for my own place, my own self.
Why? Today I know that my heart wished for something else than high quality education, since I was 16 and in High School I was planing to be a wife, a mother and first place a daughter of the highest. While my life turned out to be a journey with different stops and dead end roads; yes I am happy and thankful to be able to go to school and to study at university and choose my own job, so I can become independent – but do I need it? God has the right partner for me as well as for you, I knew that before, when I was at school, but still there need to be a kind of emergency plan or else.
When I look around my self, my family and friends, I see the uncertainty on their faces and minds when it comes to future plans or even a so called 5-year-future plan. Some of my friends are still not sure about whether they should marry their partner whom they already live with in a unit for years now or not and stay in this position and life circumstance for some more years.
I walked this path already, I lived with my partner for years, not married to each other like so many nowadays and then became pregnant – this changed everything, my point of view, my wish of the right path, the one God has planned for me. While my partner was far away from God’s path, I wished for the partner God has already created for me, the kind of caring and loving partner, that loves God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and where both partners listen to God’s plan and his marriage order in life.
Finally I’m able to see and understand God’s order and this documentary about the Amish showed another way of modest and good way of God, I liked the part of “having less but having more” – I mean, having less electronic and especially the internet including smartphones and other distraction but instead of having all these distractions you’ll have so much more life value.
I experienced this one last year where I broke my iPhone while I was on my way to the family holiday and finally when it broke I felt relieved being away from the force to have this phone in hand to check everything possible, like messages, calls, news, the weather, social media etc.the list continues…
I enjoyed these 3 weeks, full of family and no smartphone, sure reality returned back the week I’ve been home again – but this experience and some more thinking about Amish lifestyle led me to the point where I am currently.
I’m not saying to leave out everything I’m used to be and start a life in the wild or as an Amish or hutterer but to value everything we have that we already forgot to be grateful for, like for example electricity, running water and of course grocery stores etc. I guess it is really a complete different life, going back to live like 150 years ago.

What is my conclusion or decision after finish watching the documentary of the Amish lifestyle? Well I can’t change within a short time period, but I can start. Living a life like the Amish here where my family and I live is a bit more complicated, starting with the clothes and the community, if your church community and all of your siblings in Christ are living approximately 30-50km away from you, it is difficult to reach your siblings without a car – and I haven’t seen many riding a horse, well I was thinking about riding the bike instead of buying a horse.

I like the simple and modest life of the Amish, their love to the father and their freedom of loving their life as God has given it to them, so do I. I love the life and the chances God has given me, the situations and possibilities I experienced and the people I’ve met, still I’m looking forward to my simple life.
I will keep you updated!

Be blessed!

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Inviting Jesus

It is Good Friday, and while I was thinking about how to leave out the bunny and focus on the Lamb – Jesus I was and am confronted with commercial, family traditions and unbelieving friends having this look and even the question of you’re really serious!

It is one thing to leave out the easter tradition made out of human, while you are single but for me, as a mother it is another thing to explain and educate the kids why everyone is celebrating the easter bunny instead of remembering Jesus and his precious gift he gave us. Years ago I was looking forward celebrating those traditions like easter with painted eggs, Christmas and all the lamps and decorations, while the last ones I was thinking how to combine the truth and history with the decoration – for this time I started to read the story where Jesus took the last supper with his disciples and was then betrayed and left, while the kids where drawing some pictures. Then I prepared some eggs and some boiled ones to be painted as well. I can tell, it is easy to explain to my family, but it is something different to shut out the world, and their questioning views. I’m still on my way finding peace in how to simply explain to friends, family and others outside why we are not celebrating an Easter bunny or a fat man named Santa.

As the weather is so spring-like nice today, I just took the kids out on a bicycle tour to several playgrounds.
After this we went back home and prepared some meal to finally have our time cuddling on the couch (I really love this time!) the movie we are going to watch is “Narnia” (first part).

Coming back to the topic – inviting Jesus. For me it is important to invite him to everything, every situation in my life, he is my everything and everything in my life is his. So while I enjoy my time with the family he is with us always, I can talk to him, ask him for directions and he is there for me leading and directing me throughout my day. Sometimes I see my children pray to God, asking him daily things and I just see and immediately know this is the right way and as it is said in the bible I try to become more like my children when praying/talking to my Heavenly Father!

Be blessed!

New Life

It’s March and as it is said that with March the spring begins, new life is created in nature as well as with us human.

Right now I’m in the hospital welcoming a newborn baby to this world.
Again it is fascinating and always a blessed wonder to see what God has created in us. Thinking about situations in the past with befriended couples trying to receive a baby, to become pregnant using all human medicine and hospitals can offer to help with, spending 2 years or more of their time and life and not to forget the expenses you are willing to pay, because your biggest wish is to become pregnant to your own baby.
With this befriended couple, which tried for several years using the best human medicine and help that they could get, still they didn’t received what they wished for. When they decided to finally put a break on this tiring journey and went for holidays, finally they became pregnant and all without any medication or hormones or other help.
God is great, if God wants you to become pregnant he will give you a baby even if it is impossible for the human medicine, even if it seems to be impossible because of age or other circumstances.

Today the daily bible verse is
Hebrew 11:6

„And without trusting, it is impossible to be well pleasing to God, because whoever approaches him must trust that he does exist and that he becomes a Rewarder to those who seek him out.“
‭‭Messianic Jews (Heb)‬ ‭11:6‬ ‭CJB‬‬

People tend to forget how many miracles happen in their life’s and if they recognize it’s something unspecified or some high power; even for some Christians they don’t remember God, who truly never forgets his children.
Sometimes, when I watch these sort of scenes from outside I have this picture inside my head =
A mother and/or father loves their child with all their heart. You would never wish anything bad, or would like to see your child being hurt or injured.
As a loving parent you try to be a good parent providing everything your child needs, food, health and love to fill their heart and your relationship between each other. And even if you are not around your child you still think about everything and wish the best and if needed you will be there for your child, no matter what.

I experience exactly this with my heavenly father. Sure my family on this earth is there for me too, loving me, caring, but there is no one like my heavenly father, always waiting there for me, with open arms, wanting to keep away everything and everyone who will do me harm.
You may ask “why are bad things happen then?” if you are a parent, I can ask a question as well “did your child ever fell? Hurt his/her knee or arm or any part of its body?” in this situation, what did you do to prevent all these bad things to happen to your precious child? And in general you just have one at the same age (sometimes twins, sometimes triplets…) why didn’t you take more care? Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to say a parent who’s not guarding their child 24/7 every single second in life is a bad one, as a mother of beautiful blessed children I can tell, that sometimes it’s not possible to prevent things to happen – but something good will come out – in German we call it “Lern-Effekt” guess it’s quite similar in English as an learning-process. So if my child is running and not really taking care where he’s running and how fast, he might fall down. I already tried to warn him, telling him to not run too fast and always keep looking where he’s running to. Still there are situations where kids fall – and then? As a mother I run to my child, carry him, caring about him and trying to ease the pain with my love.
So is our heavenly father – but he is much more! Because our heavenly father IS Love – he is even more caring about us, he wants us to be healthy, active, full of joy and full of love, because he is Love.
And he is there for us when we fall, the point is, because we can’t see him face to face (read the story of Adam and Eve) it is sort of difficult for many to ask him for help. To reach out our hands to him, when we’ve been the wrong road for some time, when we took the wrong exit or when we need his guidance.
It was the same with me in my past, I was rather running to friends, calling them and asked their opinion or even wanted a direction where to go, instead of talking to my heavenly father first.
It’s like your child tries to find its way out to a place where he belongs and he’s not asking you, instead he’s asking another baby with no clue at all.
Again, I’m not telling that we are all baby’s not knowing anything – but for me, the fact is – God knows everything, he knows me better than anyone, because he knows the real me, every hidden spot inside me and sometimes I can tell he knows me better than I do myself.

Lately, when I’m thinking about my sick cousin (she got cancer), I got sad, and I ask myself why people don’t want to try something so simple, yet so powerful. It’s not expensive, it’s nothing complicated or need a higher education, studies or else, it is just a willing heart to let Jesus enter and receive the full Love of our heavenly Abba. May it take 10 minutes if you do confess yourself to Jesus at home, honestly it’s nothing if you compare it to all the unnecessary stuff you do every day, is it?
And I will be honest with you, the part of family telling to be christian (but plainly on paper) seems to be even more complicated to try accepting and letting Jesus enter their heart, as if it would mean they’ll leave everything, or it means extra hard work or something they never can achieve, while for real everything is already done, Jesus died for you – because of Love.

Yesterday I talked to one of my aunt and while she used to be pushed mentally into a corner, placed to be not well educated, slow minded and well some other negative thinking, I always wished for her to be free with and in Jesus Christ. I had a good talk to her and started to introduce her to Jesus, when she started to tell me, that she wants to read God’s word, but it seems difficult for her because of this and that. I gave her solutions, she can download the bible app and can even listen to it, she doesn’t have to read it herself. She was so happy about this information and told me, that she will download it asap. This is just a small step to bring someone back home to the front door. She will knock by herself and because our loving father will always open the door for a seeking heart of his child, she will receive his never ending love, and because I’m his daughter and I know his truth I will support her with every question and challenges.

Sometimes we think Life is complicated, complex and difficult, while in fact together with God, who creates everything it is simple, it is good and holy.

Shalom

Difficulties

The Difficulties I experienced and still experience wearing a headcover – no matter if it’s my Tichel or a Hijab or Veil is still in the air.

Even posting pictures on Instagram (@Sarah_Jesus_Headcover) creates questions, questionmarks inside some heads and well sometimes misunderstanding. But I really appreciate all my followers and followers-to-be who simply write a message or post a comment below and ask whatever is on their mind.
Sometimes it’s even easier to talk to others on these online platforms as in real life.
Why is that? Well let me explain, in real daily life, walking with a tichel or any kind of headcover as a Christian creates these questionmarks on people’s face. I can’t even tell why, but I experienced that sometimes people want to ask, and sometimes they don’t. If they don’t, they’d like to keep their own explanation, even if they are totally “wrong” or “misled”. While on others it’s like this disgusting look, because I stopped wearing my tichel the second half of 2017 and started again in 2018. And it feels like a facial expression telling me “come on, you’ve already had this period and let’s call it phase of your life, than finally you stopped and got back to normal and now again? Why’s that, I hoped and wished that you’ve passed it now and forever”… this is a lot, for just an expression – but well, I don’t know why, but too often it’s that I’m right about such things. It’s like a “feeling” or something like this.

Last time I had a good talk to my sister, while I don’t know if she understood what I tried to explain to her or not, because as I know myself years ago I was similar, thinking “why should God want us to cover our hair? He created us like this” yes, totally right, it has nothing to do with our naturally appearance but more about obedience for our heavenly father Adonai. Our culture, the media and well social acceptance created a point of view in my sight that kept telling me to take my right as a woman wearing what I want, if I want to be sexy I wear even less clothes, because I can. Well, yes because I can, doesn’t mean it’s the right way.

“Submit as people who are free, but not letting your freedom serve as an excuse for evil; rather, submit as God’s slaves. Be respectful to all — keep loving the brotherhood, fearing God and honoring the emperor.”
1 Pe 2:16‭-‬17 CJB

The most experience while wearing my tichel is a surprised facial expression and sometimes question about my believe, if I converted, if I’m Muslim, if I changed something important in my life – and if so what exactly?! Some asked, if I cover because of sickness, if I lost my hair and cover because of cancer or leukemia.
And still, on Instagram I’m asked if I’m Muslim even I’m posting christian and biblical quotes – I’m not offended or anything at all, it’s always a pleasure to get in touch and in good talk to people interested in “why I cover”. When I started last year it was a challenge for myself, but also a way to let others know and inform why others cover and the most important thing to stop a limited mind thinking about headcover is for muslimas only.
It is still a way to go and not as easy as it could be, because the first impression is still something different. But as long as people ask and show interest, there is hope to spread truth.

When I met Jesus and when he took place in my heart, I wanted to know him more, become more like him, like my heavenly father sees me, he has created me as a whole, perfect person and I want to show this, and thank him by gifting him my whole life and everything I am and everything I do.

I can pray in my home, in my room; same as praying in my church community – but I also pray and talk to God while I’m outside, walking in the park or forest.
Last year I read a bit of “stop being a people-pleaser” by Joyce Meyer and this is what I still try to practice in full. Sometimes it is easy, sometimes it is a bit more difficult.
Especially right now in the cold winter season, I’m wearing normal hats/beanies besides my tichel headcovering.

Well, well.. I will keep you updated with my headcover post and the year 2018!

Be blessed!

Not enough hours

I was thinking about this next blog post.
The day is already done, and I’m preparing for bed, as I need some rest – at least 7 hours to keep going.
Sometimes I think I’ve too many schedules and plans a day, but then again it makes me feel whole.

So what is it, that I do? Besides writing as a new blogger, I crochet baby blankets, I read different books about faith, believe, God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, I do bible studies, I’m still de cluttering my everything, still planing and working on being more and more minimalist, I want to create my own war binder/bullet journal/travellers journal, I enjoy Hillsong, I spend time with my family and I practice writing. It’s actually not that much, while I’m counting them here, while during the day it’s time consuming. So I can’t do everything everyday, I need to put them into a schedule, this is really difficult, as I want to have enough free-time for my family and kids.

I try to combine different things to save time, like crocheting while listening to the bible app or my latest audiobook “Eve” by Paul William Young.
Like right now I’m listening to my daily bible plan while writing this post. It’s training my brain to work and listen to God’s Word.

While it is still unorganized in my daily life I know where I have to put my faith and trust, you know I tried to arrange and plan everything myself, but never involved my heavenly father.
I have to remind myself every day, to put God first in every situation, I want to walk with him everywhere he wants me to be. And this is, why I know that he will help me, arrange my daily routine and schedule; he will show me and let me know, what might be not necessary and what is important for him, so I can check and change to start focusing on these things.

When I started my healthy eating and cleaning-household plan I realized, what God wants in my life. He doesn’t want to restrict my life with rules, but with this plans I can see, that he wants the good for me, my body and my life. Same with my minimalism challenge and my new plank-challenge (I just started 4 days ago). Living with less let me see and value things I own more, it’s reducing waste and well who knows, maybe I can reach a no-waste-Sarah this year?! Guess I will start crocheting some tote-bags. And I started a 30-day plank challenge, because I want to do something for my body with a bit of exercise. I do some extra exercise for my back as well.

Guess plans and challenges are the perfect thing for me. It’s not for everyone, but yes I can tell you, it’s 100% right for me.

Blessings to you!

Small things

It’s Valentines day, the weather is so beautiful, while its still really cold outside, the sun is shining.
The days become longer again and so you feel the energy returning too.

While I had some plans ongoing the last couple of weeks and months today is a day with just a cleaning/household plan.
After I finished “the purpose-driven life” I thought about starting another reading plan but guess I need a break of a couple of days maybe.

I finished some beautiful blankets and also gifted 3 of them to new mama’s and their baby’s. And I’m still creating new ones for sale.

I’m still planing on having my own war binder/blog binder but haven’t found the perfect leather outlet for my inlays.
Found so many beautiful videos on youtube about it!

Ha, and the de-cluttering session is not finished yet, last time I just sorted out everything in my closet. And felt relieved already, so yesterday I tried to sort out everything unnecessary and put it in boxes =
Selling, donating and to throw away.

Honestly, first I thought it’s a month challenge – now I know it’s a lifetime challenge… especially with kids, maybe it’s easier as a single person, but maybe not… until I’m done – I continue crocheting blankets, blankets, blankets… haha…

Hum, this is it for today, sure there is more upcoming.
Be blessed

Christian Head-Covering Tag

It is time to start this blog post, to let you know some more facts and to let you know more about my ways wearing a headcover as a Jesus following christian.

A dear blog follower introduced me to this christian head covering tag and I think it is really a good idea to write down some facts about me and my story on wearing a headcover a jewish tichel.

• How old are you?
I’m 33 years old.

• For how long are you covering?
I started covering last year, 2017 in spring, after I donated my hair.

• How do you cover?
I cover all of my hair; after I tried to cover parts of my hair, like some leaving a fringe, but with my head and hair it didn’t work.
After I started covering my head I started thinking and wearing more modest clothes. I cover my legs and I sorted out tops, shirts and sweater showing too much of chest and chestbones.

• Why do you cover?
I’m born into a protestant christian family, no one is wearing a headcover, whether in church, nor outside.
As a half Indonesian with many visits in this beautiful country I got in contact with hijab wearing women, as Indonesia is the biggest country with Muslim people, 88% of the Indonesians are Muslim (about 191 Mio.people).

Some years ago I started to question myself why some women cover, and the first impression and thought was because of a rule, or a husband, a tradition or a country who tells women to do so. I did some research about the different ways and styles of headcover and their different expression and intention, I began to pray and asked God about my way, my purpose and what I still need to know about headcovering.

I read 1 Cor 11
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is the Messiah, and the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of the Messiah is God. Every man who prays or prophesies wearing something down over his head brings shame to his head, but every woman who prays or prophesies with her head unveiled brings shame to her head — there is no difference between her and a woman who has had her head shaved. For if a woman is not veiled, let her also have her hair cut short; but if it is shameful for a woman to wear her hair cut short or to have her head shaved, then let her be veiled.
1 Co 11:3‭-‬6 CJB

And I started to re-think about the way the western woman is clothing herself and why we think it is a freedom and gift to wear less clothes as a woman. I took a deeper look at the social advertisement, the media and the education.
It is said that women shouldn’t be bound to her wearing, her clothes and her appearance – I think this is correct, but when you start changing the point of view into a neutral point, where you start seeing yourself as a perfect creation God has made, it is a fast way to a more modest way of clothing and behavior.
For me it got clearer every day, as my mind knew, I don’t have to show more flesh and body parts of myself to the world just to be accepted, to be recognized, to be someone.
I just want to be me, the “me” God has created in my mother’s womb 33 years ago.
As a sign of honor and reverence I started covering my hair during prayer at home, which quickly extended, as I questioned myself, what I should do outside, while I’m at the mall, or grocery or at the zoo or elsewhere when I am praying unplanned.
This is how and why I started covering in the first place.

• Do you cover for the same reason now and in the beginning?
The reason I covered in the beginning is still the same now, while today I have to answer even more questions about covering than before. I moved 6 months ago and while moving I didn’t cover my head and now I started again.

•In front of whom do you stay covered? Are there exceptions (family gatherings, working place..)?
At the moment I cover my head in church and on some activities of the kids. I don’t wear my headcover at home or while family gatherings, usually I take off my headcover while visiting female friends and wrap my “tichel” back on when going home.

• What was the reaction of your husband? Of other family members? Of persons you meet?
The reactions were differently, my sisters reacted distant, so did my mother, while my father knows that biblically and in old traditionally christian communities it is nothing new or uncommon to see head covered women in church.
The other family members didn’t asked much, I don’t know if this was because of no interest or fear to ask an embarrassing question.
When I first cover, I met many people outside guessing I’m Arab and Muslim, while I think my appearance is clearly Asian, I could friendly tell that I’m German, while half Asian and no, I’m not a muslima but Jesus following Christian.
For some the next question was, why I cover then, if it is normal for a Christian or not and as soon as we got in a conversation it was a positive exchange of this topic “head cover”.

• How did covering change your life? (prayer, self-esteem, testifying…)
The cover was a shield, like a helmet and a crown. I decided to cover for God, not because my husband has told me, or my father or my church community, but because my heart told me to listen to my heavenly father and obey his rules, and not to look to other people’s opinions, or
conviction.

• your denomination?
I am following Jesus Christ, the living Word of God, ADONAI my heavenly father and his Ruach HaKodesh – Holy Spirit – christian.

I thank you for reading my new blogpost, please leave a comment below. Be blessed! Shalom