Before I followed Jesus like I do now, I honestly enjoyed talking and discussing topics, from unimportant to important topics. Sometimes I even got myself into so much temper that it would be a loud discussion, where everyone tries to implant his/her opinion into the others mind.

When I asked Jesus to be in my life 100% (not only 50% or when I need him) he started to change me in my everything through the Holy Spirit.

I became calm and quiet, before I used to babble along with every topic. Today I can listen, think about what was said and let it sit for some days. Before I was easily tempered and impulsive, today it is not easy to stay calm, but when something occur I fix my eyes on Jesus, my Lord. He helps me stay quiet.

With one close relative I was frequently talking hours about Religion, politics and life. When I turned to Jesus in life and actually live with Jesus, I stopped discussing and arguing on this loud level and keep my voice at a normal volume. He actually noticed it and sometimes it is making him losing his temper. I know it is not my relative when his temper is exploding, it is someone trying to get a chance to get me back to my old me. No chance.

For me I understood that it is not important to argue or trying to make someone understand and accept your opinion. Yes of course I can tell my point of view, my way of life, but I’m not the person to say to someone else what is right and what is wrong for him. Knowing and accepting this in life makes it so much lighter and easier. 

The other day I had a short talk on instagram via comment underneath a picture related to a biblical quote. The comment was stating that the Bible is a written book by men with a God living 2000 years ago not today – before I would have started arguing, writing long texts and explaining him why he’s wrong. Today I can simply reply to him, that if he is willing to read the Bible with his heart and mind, he will truly see that the Bible is full of life, truth and that even it’s validity back then same as today and tomorrow will remain. He shot his answer back, that he studied Christianity and its full of war, calling to fight and that Jesus invented hell. Wow, this was a GO for my old me to start the battle, while the new me, together with Jesus, could offer him Love, by writing him truth. As he studied Christianity and the Bible it is obvious that he didn’t read with his full mind and heart, as Jesus never asked anyone to start a fight, to start war or even to kill someone, even if the old law gave you the right to. Jesus didn’t invent Hell, as it is mentioned in the Torah (Old Testament) thousands of years before Jesus was born…

I can tell you, dear brothers and sisters in Christ, with our Lord Jesus, everything is possible! Me, I was irascible especially on topics about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. But with Jesus Love I’m able to give all the negativity away, I put it down at the Cross where Jesus died for me.

Thank you for reading my story! Be blessed!

cloudy again

cloudy again

Tuesday morning and it is cloudy and partly raining, same like yesterday there is not much to do, while there is always something to be done.

Tonight I woke up at around 1 and stayed awake until 3. I was walking around spiritually and was thinking about what do be done next, what is important, what is less important, how about my schedule and so on. Sure this kept me awake and then I started my talk and prayer to God. I was thinking about getting up and start writing a new blog post but then I stayed in bed, decided to focus on my Lord Jesus so my soul could find rest at this restless night.

Labor Day is over, what did this day had for me? Two wonderfully blessed conversations with two close friends of mine. One conversation was more planet and nature based while the other one was a lot more spiritual, talking about our path walking and living with God, praying, talking, reading scripture and slowly bringing God’s living word into our lifes – not only reading it theoretically, but realizing how practically it can be if we allow Jesus to controll our presence.

Yesterday I started to read Judges, a chapter a day for the month May. It is a blessed way to stay connected with brothers and sisters all over the world. I read Judges before, but it is always nice to exchange what we received while reading the chapter. I’m using the bible app (you can download it on the App Store or on the Google Store), it is wonderful you can read it yourself or listen to the chapter.

Today’s chapter talkes about the israelites turning their backs towards God and praying to other Gods and even forgetting God and what he had done for them.
It is a strong chapter, it is a reminder for all human on this earth – because while the Israelites back then had no chance to return we have! And we have this chance because God loved us more than we can imagine – he sent his only son down to earth, so that we all – no matter if Israelites or from other nations –

11 And again, “Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles;
    let all the peoples extol him.” Romans 15,11

19 Therefore, go and make people from all nations into talmidim, immersing them into the reality of the Father, the Son and the Ruach HaKodesh, Matthew 28,19

We should wake up and be aware of being Disobedience praying or worshipping other Gods. How does this look like today? Isn’t it easy to say “these Israelites built their altars for other Gods and worship them, this will not happen to me” – really? We have to start searching through all our routines, all our behavior, our thinking about people, celebrities, thinks and wishes in our life.
How often did you push Jesus from his throne in your life and put your desire for a new smartphone, a new car, an expensive ticket for this once in a year concert of any singer or similar? Try to pray to your God today, to show you your altar that was build without knowing you pushed Jesus down in your life. This is the presence altar we build in our life, even if we build it secretly in our thoughts hidden from others.

Thank you for reading and supporting me and my blog. Be blessed!

Listen to God

Listen to God

Okay, while I was trying to not think at all and taking a hot bath (usually I’m not the “bathing” but shower person) I was thinking about this blog. I started in March, so it’s my second month now. It started with the urge to write and tell others about my relation to God, but really quickly the thinking of making some money besides was really attractive.
Still I haven’t started to put affiliate links, as I’m still using the free version of wordpress (not being on any plan).
I was thinking about moving my blog to a plan, but it’s a massive amount for me to pay upfront, so I’m still not sure about when and if I should do these affiliate links at all. Sure I’m putting some links about the books, movies, series or yarn I bought, but this is still a normal url link with no benefit for me. These thoughts were really annoying at some point, as I started this idea of blog to be a true life telling testimony of mine.
It is all about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit – not about me, trying to gain some pocket money.
So back to the roots, I was talking to God, while in the bath and not so sure about if I should continue this blog or not, what to write if I do and so on. I love it, the thing is, immediately there was this clear picture in my mind and something to tell you about me again, where God showed me his living word. So, maybe you’d like to read it –

In summer 2014, I arrived back in Germany, after my 2 years journey in Australia. Happy to be here at the one hand, blue about leaving my ever-wanted-to-stay-in country Australia – but it was my choice and at this time it was necessary for myself, to get a lot of things sort out.
After the long flight, it seemed that I was in a stage of wrapped awareness. When I entered the hallway of the airport in Germany it felt strange, not as being the german citizen but this shouldn’t be it. Later on I realized why I felt this way and that it didn’t caused the german ground, it was more the knowledge that I listened to God’s Holy Spirit and was on my way of recovery.

I had to start at zero, because I quit everything and everyone when I left. It was my choice back then and I had to handle the consequences. Step by step I started to take small steps towards all the broken relationships I cut on purpose, while I had to start with myself in the first place. It was a tough journey, where I discovered my soul and my worth in God. Before I lived in Australia my life and my approval was controlled by others, by family and friends, it nearly teared me apart, while this was my own fault.
The last half year of 2014 was tough for me, as I had to learn to stop letting people control my approval rather than God’s approval. I also started reading a book by Joyce Meyer – Approval Fix
And when I opend my bible app on my smartphone God showed me, what he thinks. I had to stop looking at other people’s opinion or conviction, and I read John 4, 17+18 and was touched, because I thought this could be me nowadays.

17 “I have no husband,” she replied.
Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband.
18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

Jesus talked to this Samarian woman, which was kind of excluded because of her lifestyle and past, but Jesus didn’t judge her past or behavior, more he saw that she was telling him the truth without even trying to tell him a lie or something to let her stand in a good light.
With this Samarian woman, many other Samarian’s start to believe and follow Jesus Christ. They were lost before but because of this woman they where saved.

While I was reading her story, it touched my heart, because first I felt worthless, because I don’t have a husband, same like her, but with this christian knowledge I was feeling and thinking that I should stay all by myself because it didn’t work with partner no.1 and not with partner no.2.

God doesn’t want me to be alone, so I know that he wants me to be with the one that God chose to be with me. I don’t have to be scared or impatient or anything else, because it’s God’s perfect plan and timing! He is giving me peace and my heart and my soul is calm, waiting patiently in obedience. Knowing 100% that God’s will is the best, sweetest, greatest, more than I can image now future for me than I can ever dream of.
So, how to listen to God? Start your relationship today, read his word, because it is a living word. Start to talk to the almighty, heavenly father, seek him as he is patiently waiting for you to return back to him – he loves you more than you can imagine!

Thank you for reading my journey. May God bless you today and tomorrow!

Breathe in

Breathe in

The other few days were cold and windy while it’s already late April. Seemed to mirror my inner feelings and fighting with several world related wishes…

Today is such a wonderful day. It started cold though but right now it’s such a wonderful warm day.

While combining walking the dog and creating some little adventure for the little ones we decided to visit a nearby forest. I love the atmosphere, the silence and simply nature. Talking to my Heavenly Father is as easy as talking to my children and I can simply recharge my soul and body while walking through the trees. 

The progress to start and proceed less electronic is still on going, because I’m starting everywhere straight away.. my habits with iPhone, iPad and TV, same as my sons iPad and TV. The spirit is already there while the soul and body is walking a bit slowly behind. Last week I started deleting 5 apps, and I try to keep deleting all unnecessary apps until I’ll just have one page of the necessary ones. Who knows, I was thinking about going back to Nokia, while this would mean no internet at all. Right now this is really difficult, as I’m posting my writings here via smartphone. Sure I thought about purchasing a blackberry classic while this is more an android as well.. though challenge right now. I just watched You Are Wanted on Amazon Prime about the electronic and internet addiction and how easy it can be for hackers to steal your identity and your life. Sure this one was just a Serie but well a bit truth is combined. I started looking from different positions and aspects about the electronic devises and how I use them. Pictures everywhere and honestly it’s like a force to post anything on instagram or co. just for the posting.

I started to read some books about Islam and converters – why Muslim women and men convert to follow Jesus, it was just a sample but I think it is so interesting reading true stories about real people converting while facing death penalties afterwards. So while I saw a wide range of testimonies about people, no matter what gender to convert to Islam, there was not one telling me that they converted because of God, or because prophet Muhammed told them to. Again, it is up to every individual, whether to chose a believe and then which believe in particular. All I can suggest and try to put near your heart is, go and search with all your heart and mind. And read – while this time we are overloaded with books, with the internet and all the kinds of information we can get it is easy and it should be our duty to seek the truth. I’m positive about you finding the light and truth for your path today! 

Thank you for reading and your interest in my writing. God’s rich blessing for you – Shalom

Saturday rush

Saturday rush

Saturday, the Shabbat for Jewish and messianic Jewish. As in a post a few days ago I did some small research about the Jewish calendar and why they see Saturday as the Shabbat day, and the day where you should rest, pray to the lord only. For western Christians it’s Sunday as for our Muslim brothers and sisters it’s Friday. As a Christian I start thinking and question “why Sunday?” Without any big research I’m just writing down some thoughts I have right now. 

You can find a connection between the Jewish Shabbat on Saturday and the Christian Sunday with Church service. The Shabbat ends on Saturday, and for Jews Sunday is the beginning of the 7 day week, as the Shabbat again stands for the last day or the day on which God rest after he created the world, nature animals and Adam and Eve. As for Christians Sunday is the day where Jesus rise from the death.

„After Shabbat, as the next day was dawning, Miryam of Magdala and the other Miryam went to see the grave.“ ‭‭Mattityahu (Mat)‬ ‭28:1‬ ‭CJB‬‬

So Sunday is the first day of the week, and it’s the day we celebrate Jesus being alive!

It’s a small information for some, but maybe informative for others.

Today I read a sample The Deception of Allah I’m still reading and not sure if I like it or not. It is a book about the life, family and history of prophet Muhammed and the Islamic Allah. Still there are some other books on my list, again I’m still reading Woman of the Bible already read 34 of 53, and several biblical plans and 2-3 books still wrapped not opened yet… time is running so fast and it’s time to organize time properly not wasting precious time for nonsense…

So besides my reading plans and studies I want to start what I was planning last year, I want to start changing my electronic devises… need to change my habits and with God’s help I can handle to get a distance to my apple products. Starting with my iPhone and iPad, switching to something else. You will be informed shortly.

Thank you for reading!

May God bless you all!

Head covering 

I want to tell you, why I started covering my hair as a Christian.

It wasn’t a decision made in about a few days or some weeks, actually I thought about covering my hair a long time ago. Fear and a fearful voice in my head made me think in negative ways about covering my hair. 

The main thoughts were = covering your head/hair leads to impressions that I converted to another religious believe as to Islam or Sikh, or that I have a hairloss sickness or else? To be really honest with you, in my past I had thoughts about women covering their hair as being oppressed or with less value to be forced into covering. 

I’m really glad and blessed that my holy father allowed me to see that this is not the truth, yes sure there are women and girls being forced into covering but also women with strong faith and obedience to worship God only and not this world. 

When I started realizing that my heart is seeking information and truth about my own way covering or not covering, I started googleing it. Sure it is easy, and the main results showed Christian nuns, wearing head covering, or muslima’s headcover hijab. I continued searching the Scripture which leads me to 1. Corinthians 11:6 „For if a woman is not veiled, let her also have her hair cut short; but if it is shameful for a woman to wear her hair cut short or to have her head shaved, then let her be veiled.“ I know that this biblical verse is read and discussed a lot, pro head covering and against. I kept studying and searching for truths, reading about women in the time of Jesus, the way they were dressed, especially their hair. Jewish women used to wear tunics, with a sash or rope or a leather belt and they were covering their head and hair. 

I’m not living back then, or in Israel, still I felt my heart longing for more information, for more insights about their living and their fashion, well their clothes. As they were living in times were the clothing was also functional they used materials to comfort them in the different season weathers. Materials to keep their skin from burning through the sun, materials to keep them warm in cold night times. Still Gods word says

1. Timothy 2:9-10 „Likewise, the women, when they pray, should be dressed modestly and sensibly in respectable attire, not with elaborate hairstyles and gold jewelry, or pearls, or expensive clothes. Rather, they should adorn themselves with what is appropriate for women who claim to be worshipping God, namely, good deeds.“ 

It’s stated “when they pray, they should be dressed modestly..” I can only talk about myself but I like to pray during my day, starting in the early morning times when I wake up, standing up going to the bathroom, to the kitchen, to the childcare, the shoppingcentre, driving the car on the highway – everywhere. So after google supported me with all this informations I checked Pinterest and Instagram for some visual offers, which led me to beautiful Headcoverings called Tichel. Jewish headcover, and their technique to wrap them. At the time I started using a headcover myself, wrapping it around my head like the Jewish women on Wrapunzel. For me, headcovering is a visible obedience I give to God, while he is securing my thoughts. „Above all, be careful what you think because your thoughts control your life.“

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭4:23‬ 

The beginning was a challenge, not only the wrapping and the problem of slippery scarves, but also reactions and questions of people around me. More about the slippery Problem later. How about the different reactions in my surrounding.

  1. “May I ask, do you have cancer?” For some, it’s quiet a sensitive question, I do understand and respect this. One close relative of mine has cancer and she lost all her hair, beside the fight against cancer and all her therapy she has to fight the feeling to be unattractive or with less value because of her hairloss. Just about my decision to start wearing my tichel, I decided to donate my hair to a charity for children fighting cancer. The company is supported with hair and money donation and provides natural wigs for kids. It is such a beautiful work and I was really sad I didn’t know earlier in life, as I had many haircuts from hip long to really short always throwing away the hair. 
  2. “Did you convert to Islam?” This is a quiet interesting question, as it is mainly asked by European, let’s say German friends. It’s nothing negative or they didn’t meant any negativity, simply the fact I saw clearly, that for some people headcovering means “Islam”. Even Muslim women and men, talked to me in the city thinking I’m an arabic speaking Muslim. Well I’m working on the Arabic speaking point, but this will be another topic. As my family in Indonesia knew from the beginning that by the way I wrap the headscarf I can’t be Muslim. (Indonesia had a 87.2% population of Muslims in 2011)
  3. “Is this new fashion?” Yes, I also got these comments, if it’s just a fashion thing, because it’s nice for today, or because I got a “bad hair day”.
  4. “Is it because of religion or culture?” Well culture rather no, because the German culture does not cover hair any longer, long time ago they used to, while working on fields and to protect the hair and head from dust, dirt and sun, but I won’t say a normal hat is culture.. well “because of religion” this one is slightly tricky. I would say no. I don’t cover my hair because of religion, I posted 2 biblical verses which I needed for my journey to find out what is right for me only, on the path whether to wear a tichel or not, but it might be a total different meaning for my sister in Christ sitting next to me in church.

Honestly I had positiv respond to my new life-headstyle, because as soon as people in my surroundings realized that I do cover my head not because of a husband or a father or brother or a city or country or culture who told me to do so, I can see in their expression either interest and/or acceptance. I don’t care much about acceptance as I don’t harm anyone by wearing my tichel, it’s similar if I would wear a cap, or a sun hat or just a headband, it’s not offending anyone, and my main intention is to serve and obey God, not human, so my first thought is always, do I serve God, or people? Coming to the interest part, this one is more of a value for me. You may have read about refugees coming to Europe, Fear is a dangerous weapon and ignorance is an easy game for it. When the feeling and my interest in headcover began, it was months before the first refugees came. Today I know, covering my head is not only for myself and my relation to God, it is an instrument to fight ignorance and fear. To open eyes, to open topics without being scared, to open minds. Inside myself the feeling became bigger to clear things up, to show people that fear of the unknown is not necessary. Sure not everyone I met outside is asking me why I’m wearing the tichel, not everyone is asking if I’m sick or Muslim, or what kind of believe I’m actually in. But the few who already have or who will are exactly the ones who should and were led by the Heavenly Father! 

It’s been a year now, wearing a tichel when I leave the house. It’s not 100%, but I try at least 98%, sometimes my kids pull it off, or I just run outside quickly to check the mail or throw the rubbish. I’m looking forward to my upcoming tichel-year 2017.

Going back to the problem I mentioned earlier, the slipping problem. First when I decided to wear a headcover I tried different styles, sure you have a wide branch of how to do your hijab, and then I finally found some on how to do your tichel. I started to put my hair into a bun, then I tried the wrapping… and yeah it looked okay, but as soon as my head was moving my scarf started slipping too… I checked the internet, and found one woman telling to help yourself out with a baby cotton blanket, you usually use to wipe away things baby spilled, things baby grabbed and I used it to cover my baby while I was breastfeeding. I tried this method and it was working well. Okay, except I had this under my scarf and as soon as my kid pulled off my tichel it would come visible. So I tried different headbands I bought in shops nearby, but it didn’t work, then I tried to buy an undercap from a Turkish hijab shop, but I think they are not meant for Tichel or the turban hijab, just for hijab purpose. Then I found the Wrapunzel Homepage with lots of beautiful scarves, pins, and tutorials!! I bought my Volumnizer and I’m so happy about it! Right now I’m using scarves I already owned or I got some from my sisters in Christ and friends and family to start with – but as mentioned before, the scarves and kits at Wrapunzel are so beautiful, think my next order will be made soon! And with this volumnizer I can even wear my tichel with short hair, while it looks as if I still have my long hair under the scarf. The volumnizer creates a nice and beautiful shape as well and it’s easy to wrap your scarf around. And the most important point for me – it’s a non-slip-band included!

After this problem was fixed I started to work on different wrapping methods and styles and still am learning and working on new looks. 

So I’m not at the end of my story why I start wearing a headcover, what thoughts and fears I went through. I thank you for taking the time to read my tichel story. Always feel free to comment below. God bless you!

My first blogpost..

Or why I start a blog in the first place.

To be honest, I never thought about writing a blog like this. In 2011 I started a small blog about my intended “work and travel year in Australia” but this was mainly privat use.
Sure life changes everyday and your point of view too.
I’m not that person, that is into fashion, or makeup, or hairstyle – so this wouldn’t be a good plan to blog.

I’m an accountant, well at least I worked as an accountant for about 3 years. Then I moved overseas, started a college course in accounting and worked part-time in a restaurant.
Why I studied accounting again? That’s a fun story, the accounting I did in Germany was based on a training and not a finished University or College degree, so it wasn’t enough for companies overseas. Anyway, I couldn’t finish the course, as the fees were immensly high and I was a single mother already. Too many difficulties.
Getting to the point, about starting a blog – because it’s still 2013 = what I do to stressrelief myself? Reading, watching some series and I started to do some craft, to be exact crocheting and knitting. Well I prefer to crochet but it’s nothing against knitting.
I tried to do some baby/toddlers clothes, hats, mits, scarves… but I didn’t like it.
In 2013 I started my first blanket for my son – it took me 1 year, because I wasn’t focused. 

Right now I do many baby blankets for friends and myself. I like to chose colors for every baby and try new stitches. So I stay with blankets :). And with this blog I want to share these blanket-projects, patterns, yarns, and sales with you.
I like to read, what kind? In 2013 I read many different books, written by Cecelia Ahern, Stephenie Meyer, Joy Fielding, Jojo Moyes, Simon Beckett and some more. Today I try to read in Gods word daily, to be honest sometimes it’s not that easy with a full daily schedule you already have because of the kids, household and friends, but it is important, for you to organize your day and to find a good space for your daily time with God.
Today I also read books with true stories about faith, God, Jesus and Holy Spirit, and some of them I want to introduce to you through this blog.

Since march 2016 I am a #Tichel wearing Christian, I want to share my story about this decision and why I started to do so, difficulties or problems I had and have in Germany as it is uncommon for a christian to wear a headcover except you are a nun. This will be one of my first blog post in these next days.

So to sum it up, this Blog will be filled with posts about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit being active in my life (and yours too). About community not only for christians, for jewish and muslim and everyone else; because I want to share the light God has let me see through his Holy Spirit and this will not exclude anyone on this earth.

“If a man has 100 sheep, but one of the sheep is lost, what will he do? He will leave the other 99 sheep on the hill and go look for the lost sheep. Right? And if he finds the lost sheep, he is happier about that one sheep than about the 99 sheep that were never lost. I can assure you, in the same way your Father in heaven does not want any of these little children to be lost.” Matthew 18, 12-14

May God bless your day!