It’s January 8th and this day is the day where I finally got back on my way of full obedience and trust in the Lord.
Why is that?
In 2017 I was first wearing my Tichel, starting in the first quarter of the year. This was first not daily or regular, but mostly on some events, where I met friends or went to sport activities of my kids.
It was something complete new, because besides my Muslim friends there were no other women wearing these special kind of headcover.
Before I finally decided to wear a Tichel I was reading a lot, praying a lot and again reading and surfing the internet.
The first and main question I had was “are there other christian woman wearing a headcover (besides the nun), especially a headcover similar to the hijab and/or tichel?”
And I found some blogposts and pinterest pins where I continued reading and growing my interest and wish to finally obey God’s call for myself.
When I first decided to wear my headcover, I had many friends and some far relatives living close by, so there was a necessarily to explain what exactly I was doing, also my christian community – while I knew, my christian family would understand, accept and of course welcome my wish to cover my hair/head.
While I already posted some of my experiences I had wearing my Tichel back in 2017 but by the end of 2017 in September I slowly stopped wearing my Tichel. I went to my hairdresser and then I stopped wrapping my head.
It was okay for the first month, like a rebellion feeling alright with the things she’s doing, and even it is not a big deal to cover or not to cover for some, for me it was.
In my family there is no one wrapping/covering their hair, so it was more unusual for me, to cover as a Christian.
And yes it was a challenge and an act of strength to stay strong with my believe why I’m covering with all the questions and arguments you get to hear, while right now, looking back on all these situations I can smile and think, I shouldn’t have tried to do it all by myself, as it is simply God’s request towards me, not anyone else’s, but just me; so that’s the main reason. Where it comes from or why women do, this are good questions too, but for all the unasked questions that I saw in some people’s eyes I can happily suggest “Google”.
While here on my blog I will tell you all my ways and steps and thoughts of why and how I finally found back to wrapping again.
The last month’s of 2017 while I still wasn’t covering my hair I somehow had this every now and then feeling to take some looks on pinterest or instagram were I follow tichel and hijab styles, as well as I continue studying the scripture and exchanging thoughts and bible quotes with my siblings at church, I quickly knew, that my short absence of not wearing my Tichel was temporarily.
Once a friend told me “only the naughty wife’s should wear a headcovering, we are free through Jesus Christ” and I canagree to that – we are free through our saviour Jesus but to cover my hair doesn’t mean, I’m following some rules I read in the bible and which rules for every women believing in Christ. For me covering my hair means obeying God in my home, my heart but also in public. I put this headcovering border between me, my head and this earth, to show where and especially to whom I belong.
For some women the only impression of headcover is the Muslim women wearing a hijab, and the image of these being oppressed or even been forced to wear a hijab or niqab or else. I’m not saying there aren’t suc situations, but headcovering women aren’t labelled being Muslim. Headcovering Christians and Jews are covering their head as well as our Muslim sisters do, but sadly in our time and our culture the devil knows how to implement fear and lies in things like headcovering. History shows that even 50 years ago women were wearing headcoverings religious and non-religious. When I first decided to wear my tichel I found out there’s is a lot to improve with information and to stop fear and especially intolerance in our western countries. It is important to have thirsty willing Christians instead of sleeping uninformed Christians who only knows Christmas is where Santa is coming and Easter means the Easter bunny hides the eggs.
In December 2017 I already posted my thoughts about headcover tichel and hijab but today, there is this one particular thought in my head “whom do you obey? Who is more important to you, the desires and thoughts of the other people around you, or my thoughts – from my heavenly father the almighty ADONAI!
Again I want to make clear, this post is about me and my experience about my way of a non-headcovering-christian to a headcovering-christian, and not a pointing finger at a biblical quote that hair covering is a rule for every woman. In my opinion it is something personal between you and ADONAI, there has to be something really deep meaning for you, a wish, a heart desire, a wish to obey and to give glory to God by doing whatever you may do and in this case to cover your hair. If you may feel similar this might be a good blog post to read and get to know why I started, paused and get back to wearing my Tichel in 2018. This was, what I exactly felt, I was used to not-cover, as I was not covering my head for 32 years and then I just started to wear the Tichel in 2017, sure I felt it was right for me, and it felt familiar in some case; but I willfully decided to stop wearing it and in the end, my spirit led me to the knowledge what is right for me and what is not.
So in December 2017 I already knew that covering my hair is right for me, is good for me, is simply me – but still I didn’t cover my hair. What kept me from doing this? Fear. Prejudice. To be biased. Bad talk. Lack of understanding.
You know where this led me? I finally found out, that I was again at one point of my life, where I’ve already have been – the people-pleaser passage. I understood, that I was thinking too much about the others, what would the other think, if I cover my hair, if I return covering, the gossip which may occur, the thoughts, so what was I thinking I could stop these thoughts about me by simply going back into the line, trying to be as invisible and similar as the others, following people’s rules in their town/city etc.? I’m not saying or stating, that I’m disobeying the rules of my city or my country but simply showing you my main focus and fear was pointing on something completely different than I wanted it to be. My spirit told me to focus on the Lord, my Abba. I knew that I should look at Jesus only and forget about the bad talks or any talks of the people around me.
And today, after I had a talk with my sister in Christ on the phone, I told her that I’m thinking to go back wearing my Tichel, but that I’m still calculating about how to cross my border that I’ve build and raised myself.
After we ended our talk on the phone it was like no more thinking about these issues at all, I knew that my soul with all its fears of gossip and talking from others, should subjugate the spirits leading and this is what finally happened. I didn’t thought about what may be, the talk, the looks, the thoughts – because this is something I can’t turn off – what I am able to decide is, what I am doing, whom I will follow and most important whom I will trust, obey and love!
Today is the first day of covering again, I already received incomprehensible looks, answered two of other mothers from school about my haircovering – and I can tell you, by wearing my Tichel I have way more nice discussions about christianity and my love and savior Jesus than without.
With this I send you God’s blessing and a big thank you for reading my blog. I will be back soon with more. Shalom