Back to school

Finally I’m back writing on my blog, while I already planned to be more structured in writing on this personal blog, I find myself being busy with so many other things.

Sure 1 month ago I started my course in financial accounting again – it’s more of a refreshing course, to have a smooth start back to work. Well at least this is my current plan for now and I will see, what will be this summer.

I tried to built my Christian blog and tried to gain my readers through social media, while now and then I ask myself if this is the right way to find true followers and readers. Over a year ago I read about writing a blog and every day more and more I thought about the idea of starting one myself – until I did.

My blog is all about faith, believe and my life with Jesus Christ. I try to write about everything that happens to me in life with Christ.

Like my current course in financial accounting, I was searching and waiting for God’s path of my future and then everything got together in perfect time and way. While I had a nice lady helping me out, finding my personal niché and profession – I used to work as an accountant before and wasn’t so sure about what I want to do now, going back or trying out something completely different. After several good talks we found this course that perfectly fits into my life situation and includes financial accounting, Excel, DATEV, Lexware, SAP and also a month working in an online firm. I’m in the middle of this great course and enjoy every day. And I feel that this is exactly what God has prepared for me, I’m happy and waiting for what will be this September, after I finished the course. As I’m already checking different job opportunities, as a financial accountant, I also read about other jobs from home, some sound interesting, while others sound good first but at second glance not reachable more expensive to try out. I never was the kind of person staying at home doing nothing at all, I like to work and learn. After becoming a mother I started to feel these mother instincts and the beautiful part of being a stay-at-home mum. Still searching for some sort of combination of stay-at-home mum doing some work from my home office – combining family and work as close as it can be.

So, I will wait some months until I can write more about this part of my life.

I thank you all for your interest in reading my blog. Be richly blessed!

crocheting projects

Oh how I love all the new projects I see on Pinterest – the only problem I have is, that I shouldn’t take any looks on social media while I’m working on a project already.
It’s like right now, I’m crocheting one hat for myself and am also starting to knit a new baby blanket. While doing these I already built up wishes and images of another even bigger blanket in knitting version. Usually I prefer crocheting, but I just started to knit this one and I like it!
I also like to sew some small and big projects for the kids and for our dog and am still learning new skills.

Right now I’m knitting a simple baby blanket with blocks and different colours. I knit the blocks first and later I will sew them together to finish this beautiful project. There are several stitches I learned and love and as mentioned before I always think about new projects while working on my current ones. I need to finish this baby blanket now, because 2 cousins gave birth to 3 babies this year and I finished 2 blankets already (boy and girl) and still need a girl blanket for the 3rd baby.
After this I already made this new project in my mind, a big blanket, I’m not sure about the colours, the size, the pattern, but I have a hint of it, the colours will be nature tone (orange, brown, etc.) and I’m thinking about the moroccan stitch, or an CAL (crochet along).

To all of you crocheters/knitters with small kids, do you also experience this phenomenon that as soon as you pick up your hook or needles your kids cling to you like a bubblegum?
I love my kids, and I love to spent time with them and be around them, listen to their stories their days – but it’s really interesting, that every time I pick up my hook at least one is trying to sit on my lap to interrupt my work – with no bad intention of course.

And with my knitting skills, well lets say I’m a beginner and really try to take care to perfectly count and not lose a line.
How can I say, I really love all the yarn projects I did so far and am looking forward to all the projects to come.
It’s funny, because back in 2017 I thought and started to plan this blog and use some other social platforms to start selling my selfmade baby blankets.
I don’t know if this road is my path or not, if this blog is my path or not. I don’t know if I already found the perfect niche and so on.

Will see in the near future I guess 😉 until then I’ll share my thoughts with you. Be richly blessed!

Tear

I am talking to her about daily topics and immediately my heart starts to ache. One thought comes to my mind and I speak it out loud.

I ask her to go visit my grandfather at the old homes. Years ago he decided to move to this place in hope to be well cared of.

What really put me down emotionally is the fact and the thought, that no one of his family, not his ex-wife, his actual wife or his children are caring much about him. I can understand that it is a matter of distance, a matter of past and what has happened in everyone’s life, still a sudden pain reaches my heart and I start crying, I can’t stop it, the tears are just dropping down my face and when I finally stop crying, I try to find out what exactly happened to me.

So I start praying and receive the answer. My soul was the one crying out loud, because my spirit showed me how my grandfather is lying in his bed all alone, all by himself and in bad condition, not able to move, completely left alone – weeks – no months are passing before his children visit him, as there is always something else, something more important at that time than visiting their father.

My heart is crying as I feel his pain, yes he made wrong decisions, he did wrong things and wasn’t the father he should be for his children, but I feel his pain inside my heart and I keep crying.

The next day, we are at this place where he’s lying, we had to drive for an hour, it is a cute little village and the home is a Christian catholic place – even he’s not catholic still he chose this place, because he felt comfortable in it, when he got there around 6 years ago. Now he is lying in bed all the time, since approx 2 years, staring at the wall in his room, not able to read, not able to talk, not able to turn on the TV. Day by day by day by day.

When I enter his room and see him lying there, not able to move his hands and fingers, I can’t stop the tears from flowing down my cheek. I don’t try to stop them, I just let them down. Is it the sorrow to see the similarities of him and my mother and my aunt? Is it the pain I can nearly feel seeing him lying here not able to move.

I feel powerless because his son who was responsible for him gave away the responsibility to the government and now all other siblings are helpless, not able to claim for their dad to be at their place to be cared of.

I can’t understand, that a man with 5 children is held at an old home while he could be cared of at least at one house. The main point is money, the old home takes a huge amount of money because of the care and the room – I can totally understand that, but I guess it is unfair for those who didn’t have a family at all.

With this I pray to remember the elderly people, your parents, your grandparents because they shouldn’t be forgotten.

Be blessed!

Wednesday good night story

This will be just a short entry about my today’s good night story for the kids.

Some hours ago I was listening to Joseph Prince book “live the Let-Go Life” and I’m close to the finish, when Joseph is talking about children, kids and their education, their problems and how to start letting go and let God. Joseph said, that a good routine is always good and you can start telling your children about God, who he is, what we are through Jesus Christ, what Jesus did and why. Start introduce your child to him, and this is what I made and the exciting fact is – my eldest asked me something about God and the people, so it was easy for me to catch up and answer his question and add one or two more facts about God, his character, about Jesus and his never ending Love for us.
The kids fell asleep and I had a calm heart, because I felt and knew that God gave this question so that I could start this new way of “good night story” it’s just changing from those bedtimestories about Princess and Prince or Knights to the beautiful Love Story of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
I really enjoyed it myself today, because I let myself into his arms and his guidance of where this telling would leave and what I would tell my kids actually. And you know what? As soon as I stopped directing myself, it was so easy and every word and every sentence came out just by itself and gave my kids the peace and rest they need.
Now they are fast asleep and so will I – after turning on another 15 min of Joseph Prince “live the Let-Go Life”.

Have a blessed night to you all!

Sunshine

The temperature is growing high again and it is such a beautiful time spending with the family outside sitting under the trees and cooling down at the small pool. After we came home the other day from our small trip to Netherlands I recalled some of the situations that caught my attention and my new character in Christ.What does it mean “new character in Christ”? For me it means a lot, because with Jesus I become more calm, more relaxed and more quiet. Years ago, when I didn’t walk with Jesus, it was easy to stress out and get into discussions and arguments. Like the other day I had to wait for over 4 hours to register my car at the office (usually it should be done in about 30min). And well normally I would’ve become loud in the waiting area, telling the staff to stop treating all those people this way and start working on their chair. This time I didn’t, although it really started to grow inside me I took several breathing breaks to keep myself calm, even when I saw some people using money to illegally squeeze in a spot way before I did. I heard that this is common now, corruption in offices where people think and use money to avoid long waiting lines and well they get along with this – years ago I stood up, and spoke and nearly got beaten by a grown up man because I told him to line up like every one else is doing. Today I know that I don’t have to fight this flesh fight, because everyone will get what they planted and so will they. Yes it got my attention and made me angry but I let go and this made me calm.But back to the situation with my family back in the Netherlands, I started to realise that we start to be unhappy soon when we have too many plans or visions of what we want – too many expectations can Stress your day and your life. Even the kids seemed to be unhappy because they wanted more and more as they thought that only being occupied is real happiness. During this time I started to think about the best vacation for my family – and it is more “back to the past” and less “24 hour fun”. I mean, last time we’ve been at a holiday parc where the kids could swim everyday, where they had horses and many playgrounds outside and indoors. Still it wasn’t enough. So the kids and me, we were kind of exhausted running after every kind of experience that we lost the beauty of holiday itself. I told myself, that the next holiday will be even more simple, nothing at all except the beach. So this will be all we will be doing, wake up, breakfast, preparing the bag with snacks and staying at the beach for the day until the day is over. Simple and no stress at all please. We need to find peace and joy in this beautiful things God gave us and we need to start being thankful and grateful for all these things, and stop racing for more and more, I realised that my kids copy my way of how I live my life, of how I chose and do holiday. We as parents have the responsibility to teach our kids and we also have the gift to show and teach them everything they need to know to have a happy love filled live. Showing them that happiness isn’t connected to materials is a step to show them what live is about.Be blessed!

New Life

It’s March and as it is said that with March the spring begins, new life is created in nature as well as with us human.

Right now I’m in the hospital welcoming a newborn baby to this world.
Again it is fascinating and always a blessed wonder to see what God has created in us. Thinking about situations in the past with befriended couples trying to receive a baby, to become pregnant using all human medicine and hospitals can offer to help with, spending 2 years or more of their time and life and not to forget the expenses you are willing to pay, because your biggest wish is to become pregnant to your own baby.
With this befriended couple, which tried for several years using the best human medicine and help that they could get, still they didn’t received what they wished for. When they decided to finally put a break on this tiring journey and went for holidays, finally they became pregnant and all without any medication or hormones or other help.
God is great, if God wants you to become pregnant he will give you a baby even if it is impossible for the human medicine, even if it seems to be impossible because of age or other circumstances.

Today the daily bible verse is
Hebrew 11:6

„And without trusting, it is impossible to be well pleasing to God, because whoever approaches him must trust that he does exist and that he becomes a Rewarder to those who seek him out.“
‭‭Messianic Jews (Heb)‬ ‭11:6‬ ‭CJB‬‬

People tend to forget how many miracles happen in their life’s and if they recognize it’s something unspecified or some high power; even for some Christians they don’t remember God, who truly never forgets his children.
Sometimes, when I watch these sort of scenes from outside I have this picture inside my head =
A mother and/or father loves their child with all their heart. You would never wish anything bad, or would like to see your child being hurt or injured.
As a loving parent you try to be a good parent providing everything your child needs, food, health and love to fill their heart and your relationship between each other. And even if you are not around your child you still think about everything and wish the best and if needed you will be there for your child, no matter what.

I experience exactly this with my heavenly father. Sure my family on this earth is there for me too, loving me, caring, but there is no one like my heavenly father, always waiting there for me, with open arms, wanting to keep away everything and everyone who will do me harm.
You may ask “why are bad things happen then?” if you are a parent, I can ask a question as well “did your child ever fell? Hurt his/her knee or arm or any part of its body?” in this situation, what did you do to prevent all these bad things to happen to your precious child? And in general you just have one at the same age (sometimes twins, sometimes triplets…) why didn’t you take more care? Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to say a parent who’s not guarding their child 24/7 every single second in life is a bad one, as a mother of beautiful blessed children I can tell, that sometimes it’s not possible to prevent things to happen – but something good will come out – in German we call it “Lern-Effekt” guess it’s quite similar in English as an learning-process. So if my child is running and not really taking care where he’s running and how fast, he might fall down. I already tried to warn him, telling him to not run too fast and always keep looking where he’s running to. Still there are situations where kids fall – and then? As a mother I run to my child, carry him, caring about him and trying to ease the pain with my love.
So is our heavenly father – but he is much more! Because our heavenly father IS Love – he is even more caring about us, he wants us to be healthy, active, full of joy and full of love, because he is Love.
And he is there for us when we fall, the point is, because we can’t see him face to face (read the story of Adam and Eve) it is sort of difficult for many to ask him for help. To reach out our hands to him, when we’ve been the wrong road for some time, when we took the wrong exit or when we need his guidance.
It was the same with me in my past, I was rather running to friends, calling them and asked their opinion or even wanted a direction where to go, instead of talking to my heavenly father first.
It’s like your child tries to find its way out to a place where he belongs and he’s not asking you, instead he’s asking another baby with no clue at all.
Again, I’m not telling that we are all baby’s not knowing anything – but for me, the fact is – God knows everything, he knows me better than anyone, because he knows the real me, every hidden spot inside me and sometimes I can tell he knows me better than I do myself.

Lately, when I’m thinking about my sick cousin (she got cancer), I got sad, and I ask myself why people don’t want to try something so simple, yet so powerful. It’s not expensive, it’s nothing complicated or need a higher education, studies or else, it is just a willing heart to let Jesus enter and receive the full Love of our heavenly Abba. May it take 10 minutes if you do confess yourself to Jesus at home, honestly it’s nothing if you compare it to all the unnecessary stuff you do every day, is it?
And I will be honest with you, the part of family telling to be christian (but plainly on paper) seems to be even more complicated to try accepting and letting Jesus enter their heart, as if it would mean they’ll leave everything, or it means extra hard work or something they never can achieve, while for real everything is already done, Jesus died for you – because of Love.

Yesterday I talked to one of my aunt and while she used to be pushed mentally into a corner, placed to be not well educated, slow minded and well some other negative thinking, I always wished for her to be free with and in Jesus Christ. I had a good talk to her and started to introduce her to Jesus, when she started to tell me, that she wants to read God’s word, but it seems difficult for her because of this and that. I gave her solutions, she can download the bible app and can even listen to it, she doesn’t have to read it herself. She was so happy about this information and told me, that she will download it asap. This is just a small step to bring someone back home to the front door. She will knock by herself and because our loving father will always open the door for a seeking heart of his child, she will receive his never ending love, and because I’m his daughter and I know his truth I will support her with every question and challenges.

Sometimes we think Life is complicated, complex and difficult, while in fact together with God, who creates everything it is simple, it is good and holy.

Shalom

How to react?

As my title asks it’s a situation blog post.
While I’m reducing – and nearly deleting the gaming zone (wii console, Nintendo 3DS and iPad playtime) I experience some real extreme times with my 7 year old.

And as I see where it comes from its simply shocking and opening my eyes to be slightly alert.
The relation to my son was and is always been filled with love and respect – except on times where it was me – or – an electronic device. It was like my son wanted to not be rude or cruel to talk to me, but at the same time couldn’t get his hands and mind off his device. And it got worst.
Some time ago there was a video on youtube and facebook showing a young boy being totally destroyed because his sibling or mother deleted one of his gaming account. His behavior shocked me, but for more than the half of viewers it was just a joke. Thinking back to this video it’s still hurting my heart that I left my son going into this hell.
Right now we are experiencing a similar situation – not as bad as the one in the past but it is like you are a drug addict and I was the dealer, because I am responsible as his mother for his games and his day routine.

Putting away all the self destroying thoughts I began to pray and asking my heavenly father to help me, send me his Holy spirit to lead me and my son to his right path. I asked for strength to keep having the control and not lose it for a weak moment, and it is work.
Parents, when you once lose control and it’s just outta hands it’s even more complicated to get back to a good and healthy way, for me it’s less hard work, because I know my God is there for me and already fought for me and my son.
I am thankful and so blessed that it was shown me early in this stage, yes it is hard work though and honestly these electronic games made something completely different out of him, more disrespecting and aggressive.
And now, as I pulled the break God can work with him again, it’s my responsibility to free his spirit from these jails and cuffs again, because I brought him there and these days I actually see and experience where it led me.


The world is so over floated with attractions and ways of wasting your time here for nothing, and I understood that it is now important to control mine as well as my kids.