Cold season

Finally it is becoming the cold season, it is cold outtside and windy and rainy from time to time. For me and the kids it is a beautiful time, spending outside if we want to, enjoying the fresh and clear air, walking and watching the nature change and just thanking God for everything we have.

Yesterday night I was thinking about one homeless man, whom I saw the other day. I was thinking about his condition, his life situation and about what I can do for him during this cold season.

I looked up at the internet about what they might need.

Money? Food? Clothes? Blankets? A tent?

So I thought about a sleeping back and took it to him today. I asked him about his needs, what he would like to have, e.g. food or more blankets/clothes.

His answer was first:

“Is this sleeping back new?”

Honestly, I was a bit surprised, but tried not to show it, I told him that’s brand new, even all the signs on it. Somehow I felt, he might not want it.

When I asked about food if I should buy him breakfast or some fruits, he simply said, he just wants and needs money.

Then he said something that made me think

“I need money, a lot. If possible 1-2 Mio €”

Sure could be jokingly, but then I also thought about his thinking. There are some homeless by bad circumstances, some because of addiction and some by choice. Some doesn’t want to live under the German system of tax and regulations. Somehow it seems that this homeless today is the one living outside by choice.

Thinking about homeless and all this topic it is difficult to decide whether I should help more or less. I don’t want them to thank me or something else, while I was thinking about how to help (besides money) I really thought I might help a little. The scene today instead showed me that it is best to ask, what they need, to donate after that.

My motivation was to help the homeless in this time, as it is turning really cold outside and they keep staying outside the whole time. Honestly I don’t want to just give money, as for most of them (as they say themselves) they need money to buy drugs and alcohol. I don’t want to be part or a helper for providing drugs or alcohol – when I want to help with what they really need like food or clothes or sleeping utensils.

Guess it’s a difficult topic, while it can be so easy.

Wishing you a blessed week and a peaceful time with Jesus Christ. Shalom


I am talking to her about daily topics and immediately my heart starts to ache. One thought comes to my mind and I speak it out loud.

I ask her to go visit my grandfather at the old homes. Years ago he decided to move to this place in hope to be well cared of.

What really put me down emotionally is the fact and the thought, that no one of his family, not his ex-wife, his actual wife or his children are caring much about him. I can understand that it is a matter of distance, a matter of past and what has happened in everyone’s life, still a sudden pain reaches my heart and I start crying, I can’t stop it, the tears are just dropping down my face and when I finally stop crying, I try to find out what exactly happened to me.

So I start praying and receive the answer. My soul was the one crying out loud, because my spirit showed me how my grandfather is lying in his bed all alone, all by himself and in bad condition, not able to move, completely left alone – weeks – no months are passing before his children visit him, as there is always something else, something more important at that time than visiting their father.

My heart is crying as I feel his pain, yes he made wrong decisions, he did wrong things and wasn’t the father he should be for his children, but I feel his pain inside my heart and I keep crying.

The next day, we are at this place where he’s lying, we had to drive for an hour, it is a cute little village and the home is a Christian catholic place – even he’s not catholic still he chose this place, because he felt comfortable in it, when he got there around 6 years ago. Now he is lying in bed all the time, since approx 2 years, staring at the wall in his room, not able to read, not able to talk, not able to turn on the TV. Day by day by day by day.

When I enter his room and see him lying there, not able to move his hands and fingers, I can’t stop the tears from flowing down my cheek. I don’t try to stop them, I just let them down. Is it the sorrow to see the similarities of him and my mother and my aunt? Is it the pain I can nearly feel seeing him lying here not able to move.

I feel powerless because his son who was responsible for him gave away the responsibility to the government and now all other siblings are helpless, not able to claim for their dad to be at their place to be cared of.

I can’t understand, that a man with 5 children is held at an old home while he could be cared of at least at one house. The main point is money, the old home takes a huge amount of money because of the care and the room – I can totally understand that, but I guess it is unfair for those who didn’t have a family at all.

With this I pray to remember the elderly people, your parents, your grandparents because they shouldn’t be forgotten.

Be blessed!

It’s a cold friday

It’s freezing outside, everything is sleeping under an icy blanket of frost.
And I start thinking on how to cloth myself to go outside, walking the dog and enjoying some nice walks through parks and the forest.

First of all I need a big, cozy and of course warm scarf to keep my throat and neck away from the icy wind. Then I put on some selfmade crocheted gloves the fingerless ones. They are really nice, keeping your hands warm (well still the fingers are freezing, but you can use the phone if needed outside) and what about my head? Of course some kind of headcover, a beanie, knitted, crocheted or bought one or my Tichel with thicker scarf to keep my head warm and the headache away.

With all its beauty and the fresh air I’m thanking the Lord that he has blessed me with good health, enough clothes and a warm home – while others don’t, depending on financial circumstances, or after coming as a refugee or homeless.
To be honest, the homeless in Germany sometimes chose to stay outside instead of staying at a save and warm place.
Years ago I questioned myself why there are homeless in Germany, while we have a good working system leaving no one on the street if not wanted.
Even I heard that someone wanted to give a homeless food while instead he wanted money and rejected taking the food because he wanted to buy something strong to drink to keep warm and stay outside.
And even if someone wants to stay outside, being not in the system at all there are some possibilities to sleep in a warm place at least.
There are different possibilities, they have new buildings especially for women, they have busses for homeless to sleep in and other places. I think, it is important to let homeless people know, that there is a possibility to stay warm, at least at night, where it’s freezing and reaching temperatures below 0 degree and more.

Nowadays it is easier to help refugees, especially with kids clothes, blankets or other things needed. It is a simple step to check on communities, the church, the citizen office and/or at the mayor.

While I declutter my closet (again this year 2018) I checked on all clothes still usable and clean to donate, because honestly even I, owning not as much as others, have more than enough.
I can tell, I’m so blessed because of my church family, my family, my friends that I have more than enough and I’m so happy to help others.
After I watched “the minimalist” on Netflix the other day I realized that I can donate even more clothes out of my closet. I liked the part where they showed women trying plan 333 – where you chose out 33 items, clothes, tops, pants, pullover, sweater, skirt, jewlery etc. And use them for 3 months. Sure first you check if everything fits and is easily to be combined with each other and the most important thing – it’s the cloth you really love and usually wear.

I realized that this thinking is right, as I can see with my kids, who already chose what to wear them self. They love some of their clothes and it’s somehow easy to sort out.

With that I donated some clothes and my closet is still not empty at all. I’m happy I declutter but I will continue in 3 months, after I’ve finished the other rooms. It’s like going in circles but after sorting out I also try and watch me buying carefully and thoughtfully.

Also after having this idea of living a minimalists life I loved the idea of a van with possibility to live in. Still a dream but who knows, one day I’m ready for this step.

Be blessed!